For The Love Of Snuffles
by Lorna2304
Summary: What would have happened if Harry had been expelled before his 5th year? This changes everything...Eventual Harry/Sirius slash
1. Chapter 1

Hope you like this fic! If you do or if you don't, please please review :) thank you! x

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For the Love of Snuffles

Chapter 1

Everything was black. Confusing flashes of colour and light came from different directions, but he couldn't tell where he was. Something dark and terrible was here, and he wanted to get out. Another flash of colour, and he thought he could make out piles of gold and jewels before it all went dark again. The blackness felt like it was swarming around him like a thick, oppressive fog. Through the vapour he saw the distant outline of something like a necklace, which morphed into a crown.

Suddenly, the scene changed and he was running down an empty corridor towards a door at the end, but the door wasn't getting any closer. He reached out his arm, stretching forwards, but it pulled further away. Feeling a sense of urgency building, he quickened his pace but to no avail. Dark shadows crept in from every angle, filling him with dread, and he awoke suddenly in a cold sweat.

Opening his eyes, Harry Potter gazed at the plain white ceiling of his bedroom in Number 4, Privet Drive, and tried to catch his breath. This was just one of many similar dreams he had been having over the course of the summer. The dreams were suffocating, terrifying, and he always woke up drenched in sweat with a feeling of terror upon him that took hours to shake off.

Harry Potter was not your average teenager. He had jet black hair, which stood up at the back and refused to do what it was told. This contrasted startlingly with his pale skin and bright green eyes. The thin, lightning bolt scar on his forehead stood out clearly on his forehead this morning, a darker red than usual as if it was sore.

Harry shivered, and turned over to look at the time. 4:48am. Sighing, he turned over again and tried to get comfortable. There was no point getting up yet, not until his aunt rapped on the door at 6:00am sharp and commanded him to come down and cook the breakfast. If it wasn't for his family bossing him around, Harry wasn't sure he would summon the effort to even get out of bed. What was the point? He still had no idea when he was going to be able to leave this place, no idea where the others were or what was happening in the wizarding world, no idea what Voldemort was doing now that he had returned to full power.

Ron and Hermione had been sending letters of course, but every time he received one Harry was left feeling unfulfilled and disappointed. The letters were empty of news, empty of anything that would give Harry comfort. It was obvious they were together, wherever they were, and having fun without him. At least the letters from Sirius had been much more comforting, even if it was obvious he wasn't allowed to tell Harry anything important via post either.

As Harry lay in bed thinking absentmindedly about what on earth Voldemort was up to, he heard the distinctive sound of scratching at the window and sat bolt upright to see an owl looking impatiently through his window at him. He leapt out of bed immediately and bounded to the window, gently opening it up as quietly as he could and ushering the owl into his room. Offering the owl some treats, he extricated the letter from it and unfurled it, a grin spreading on his face when he recognised his godfather's handwriting.

_Dear Harry,_

_I hope you're still holding up ok with those muggles. I know it must be frustrating for you, not knowing what's going on out there, but I promise I'll tell you what I can as soon as I see you. Just try not to attract attention and whatever you do, DON'T USE MAGIC! It really shouldn't be long now, and we'll be able to see each other again! Miss you._

_Love Snuffles_

Harry read and reread the letter, smiling fondly. The letter, of course, didn't hold any news but he was used to that by now. It was still nice to know that someone out there cared about him, and understood the frustration he was feeling at the moment. Harry carefully tucked the letter under the loose floorboard with his other letters, and climbed back onto his bed. The clock now said 5.23am, and Harry resigned himself to the fact that he wasn't going to get any more sleep.

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Harry kicked at the ground, shouting at the top of his lungs until he felt like they were ripped to shreds. He glanced up to see a mother with a pram looking at him nervously and quickening her pace as she rushed away from him. Sneering moodily, Harry sat back down on the swing and rocked slowly backwards and forwards, staring at the dead, yellowing grass at his feet.

The injustice of it all was simply infuriating, why on earth was Harry still here, none the wiser, when he was the one that saw Voldemort return in the first place? He was the one that was tied up in that graveyard and tortured, he was the one who saw Cedric murdered in front of his own eyes, and yet Dumbledore had conveniently forgotten him and left him here to feel isolated for weeks on end. Feeling the anger bubbling up inside him again, Harry took a deep calming breath and tried to think about something else.

He looked up and saw a group of teenagers walking boisterously past the park, smoking and laughing together. The vast figure at the front of the group could only be his cousin, Dudley. Sighing, Harry got up and slowly walked after them, knowing that if Dudley was going home then he should too if he didn't want to be burdened with all the chores tomorrow.

Harry walked surreptitiously behind the group until they all split up, then he fell into step with his cousin. Dudley gave him a suspicious look, but kept on walking silently, shooting occasional glances nervously at him.

"What's the matter, Big D? Scared of me?" Harry sneered at him, knowing it was stupid to rile him up but he was full of anger and needed to take it out somehow. Dudley ignored him, speeding up slightly in an attempt to walk away from him but Harry was having none of that.

"You're not so brave when you're not backed up by your group of mates, are you? I heard you beat up a 10 year old last week. Pathetic." Harry watched with satisfaction as Dudley's cheeks flushed with anger.

"You don't know anything, you freak. He was giving me cheek, so I showed him who's boss around here." Dudley angrily responded, clenching his fists. Harry knew that Dudley would give anything to punch him right now, but there was no way he would do it.

They entered the dark alleyway between Wisteria Walk and Magnolia Crescent, the place where Harry had first seen Sirius. It was dank, gloomy, and the only light Harry could see was the twinkling of the distant stars in the sky. It felt good to let out his frustration on Dudley, when he had been harbouring it all day.

"You think you're so big and powerful, carrying that thing around with you," Dudley said, breaking the tense silence.

"What, you mean this?" Harry replied, pulling out his wand and twirling it between his fingers. Dudley looked sideways at it, a terrified expression on his face.

"Don't you dare use that thing on me!"

"Why shouldn't I?"

"You're not allowed, that freak school of yours will chuck you out."

"How do you know they haven't changed the rules?" Harry grinned at him. Dudley muttered something under his breath and stopped walking.

"You're not so brave at night, are you? I hear you screaming in your sleep, 'Help me Mum, Dad, they killed Cedric, they killed him!' Who's Cedric, your boyfriend?" Dudley grinned at him, clearly feeling that he'd got the upper hand. Harry stared at him, his face white, anger pulsing through his veins.

"Don't you dare mention that again, you have no idea what you're talking about!" Harry began angrily, but suddenly he felt a cold chill descend upon him and he stopped talking at once. Darkness was pressing around them, chasing them down from both ends of the alleyway. Harry breathed out and saw his breath mist in front of him, he was suddenly freezing and filled with a cold fear. Not here…not in Little Whinging, surely? He looked up and saw that the stars appeared to have gone out. Harry listened carefully, but suddenly all he could hear was Dudley shouting.

"What are you doing? Why is it so cold, stop it!"

"I'm not doing anything, I swear!" Harry shouted back. In the silence that followed, Harry could hear the distinctive rattling breath in the darkness behind him, and he raised his wand in his shaking hand.

"Expecto patronum," Harry said, his voice weak and shaky. A small white cloud erupted from his wand and immediately disappeared. "Expecto patronum!" he shouted this time, his voice clearer, but the patronus still didn't come. Horrible thoughts were starting to take over and he heard Dudley whimpering in the back ground. Scrunching up his face, Harry tried hard to think of a happy thought. The face of Sirius appeared in his mind, followed by Ron and Hermione. He was going back to Sirius soon, he was going to be with people who cared about him, and he shouted out the spell with Sirius's face in his mind.

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" Harry shouted, and a large silver stag erupted from his wand and raced down the alley, chasing away the dementor that had been inches away from Harry's face. He looked down the alleyway and saw Dudley on the floor down the other end, a second dementor edging towards him with its scaly, scabby hand outstretched. Harry pointed his wand down the alley and the stag chased after it, pushing it away from Dudley with its antlers and then racing back towards Harry before disappearing.

The stars twinkled back one by one, and Harry walked wearily towards Dudley to see how he was. He was laying on the floor, face pale and clammy, a look of terror plastered onto his face. As Harry briefly considered leaving him in the alley and walking home, he saw the figure of Mrs Figg his elderly neighbour at the end of the alleyway and hastened to put away his wand.

"Don't put it away, you silly boy, what if there are more of them? Oh, I'm going to_ kill_ Mundungus!"

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So there you have it! Please let me know if you like it so I know whether to continue. I know its similar to the book at this point but soon everything will start to change and things will get interesting! :) x


	2. Chapter 2

Here's chapter 2, sorry for the wait! Hope you enjoy :)

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Chapter 2

Harry stood at the door to Privet Drive, sagging under the weight of his cousin Dudley, whom he was currently attempting to hold up. It seemed that after the dementor attack he was almost at the point of fainting, and he seemed most reluctant to talk or even attempt to walk by himself.

After the surprise of his neighbour Mrs Figg turning up and apparently knowing what dementors were, Harry had questioned her and found that she was a squib. This had been almost as surprising as being attacked by dementors in the sleepy muggle town of Little Whinging, especially considering he had gone to stay with her every year when the Dursleys were busy celebrating Dudley's birthday or going on holiday without him. Of course, the Dursleys wouldn't have left Harry with her if they'd known he was enjoying himself, Mrs Figg had told him, so that was how it had to be.

However, Harry now had more pressing issues to think about than the fact that his neighbour was a squib. He had used illegal magic, he was currently trying to support his almost unconscious cousin while he waited for someone to open the door, and he had no idea what was going to happen next. Would the Ministry of Magic try to expel him? His thoughts were cut short as the door was opened and he was deafened by the piercing scream his aunt let out.

"DIDDYKINS! _What happened?" _She screeched, looking in horror at Dudley's face which had turned a pale shade of green. Dudley took a shaky step forwards, and then promptly vomited all over the doorstep.

"VERNON! VERNON, COME HERE!" Petunia yelled at the top of her lungs. As Vernon arrived at the doorstep and started to help Dudley into the house, Harry slipped in behind them and sneaked towards the stairs, hoping to avoid detection. Sadly, this did not happen, as Dudley chose this moment to regain the use of his voice.

"It was him…he did something to me…" Dudley whispered hoarsely, pointing a fat hand in Harry's direction.

"GET IN HERE, BOY!" Uncle Vernon shouted, loud enough to rattle the ornaments on the mantelpiece. Harry reluctantly turned around and walked into the kitchen where Dudley had been ushered into a chair, and was now having a wet towel applied to his forehead by an anxious Petunia.

"What?" Said Harry rudely, not caring anymore. He just wanted to get upstairs and be by himself so he could wrap his brain around what on earth had happened this evening.

"You know what!" Shouted Vernon, moustache bristling in anger. "You did something to Dudley, didn't you? Admit it!" His face was turning red, his little piggy eyes screwed up as he squinted at Harry.

"I didn't do anything." Harry said flatly, knowing full well that they wouldn't believe him.

"LIAR!"

"I'm not lying!" Harry yelled back, getting angry now.

"TELL ME WHAT YOU DID TO HIM!" Vernon was apoplectic with rage now, his face quickly turning from red to a dark shade of purple. Harry stared at him, his own anger bubbling and starting to reach the surface. He watched with satisfaction as the lights started flickering, and objects starting smashing around the room. Vernon walked towards him, hands outstretched as if to strike him, and Harry let out another wave of anger. The light bulb above Vernon's head smashed, glass showering down on his head, and an invisible shield appeared between the two of them so that Vernon couldn't touch him. With one last glare at his uncle, Harry turned and walked upstairs to his room, trying to calm down. Doing any more magic was not going to help him at this stage.

As Harry entered his room, he saw two owls sitting on his windowsill and he quickly walked over to let them in. One of them pushed forwards in front of the other, and Harry relieved it of its letter. The owl immediately flew back out of the window, so it apparently wasn't waiting for a reply. Feeling apprehensive, Harry opened it up and read the letter:

_Dear Mr Potter, _

_We have received intelligence that you performed the Patronus Charm at twenty-three minutes past nine this evening in a Muggle-inhabited area and in the presence of a Muggle. The severity of this breach of the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery has resulted in your expulsion from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Ministry representatives will be calling at your place of residence shortly to destroy your wand. _

_As you have already received an official warning for a previous offense under section 13 of the International Confederation of Wizards' Statute of Secrecy, we regret to inform you that your presence is required at a disciplinary hearing at the Ministry of Magic at 9 a.m. on August 12th. _

_Hoping you are well,_

_Yours sincerely,_

_Mafalda Hopkirk_

_Improper Use of Magic Office_

_Ministry of Magic_

Harry stared blankly at the parchment. Expelled? He wasn't going back to Hogwarts? His heart dropped into his stomach, he felt sick and numb. Everything around him seemed to have faded away, and the only thing he could think about was that one line of the letter. '...has resulted in your expulsion from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry'. Harry gulped, and looked back at the letter in an almost dreamlike state.

He read the next line, and came back to his senses slightly. 'Ministry representatives will be calling at your place of residence shortly to destroy your wand'. Harry's heart, which he felt had almost stopped, started pounding furiously in his chest. He couldn't let anyone destroy his wand. Whether he was expelled from Hogwarts or not, he needed his wand. There was no way he could let anyone destroy it. That meant he had only one option – to run away from Privet Drive, to never come back, to hide from the Ministry for as long as it took. It was with these terrifying thoughts running through Harry's mind that he suddenly cried out in pain and looked down at his hand. He had been nipped sharply by the remaining owl that he had completely forgotten about. Quickly, Harry took the letter from its beak and offered it some owl treats. It graciously accepted, then turned and flew out of the window.

Picking up the letter with a shaking hand, Harry reluctantly opened it up and began reading:

_Harry — Dumbledore's just arrived at the Ministry, and he's trying to sort it all out. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR AUNT AND UNCLE'S HOUSE. DO NOT DO ANY MORE MAGIC. DO NOT SURRENDER YOUR WAND._

_Arthur Weasley_

Harry let out a long breath that he didn't realise he had been holding. Dumbledore was trying to sort everything out. Did that mean there was a slim chance he could go back to Hogwarts again? Did Dumbledore actually have any influence over the Ministry of Magic? A tiny seed of hope bloomed in Harry's chest, hardly daring to believe that this could still turn out ok. He supposed it would be best to stay put, like Mr Weasley had mentioned. He would only get into more trouble if he attempted to run away, although he didn't really want to stay here and wait for the Ministry to come knocking on his door either.

Sighing, Harry lay back on his bed to think, however he was interrupted a moment later by another owl tapping on his window. Harry got up slowly, wondering what it could possibly be this time. He gently took the letter from the owl, and watched it fly away into the night. Glancing down at the letter, Harry was pleased to see his godfather's writing on it.

_Dear Harry,_

_Arthur just told us what happened, I hope you're ok. Dumbledore will try to sort it all out, so try not to worry too much. Remember, DON'T LEAVE THE HOUSE! I don't want the Ministry or anything else out there to get to you. _

_Love Snuffles_

Harry smiled a little. At least Sirius was comforting, even if the letter was short and to the point. He flopped down on the bed again, closing his eyes and letting his thoughts wander. The happy feeling from Sirius' letter immediately started to drain away as panic took over. What if he never got to go back to Hogwarts? He would have no education, he would be left behind while Ron and Hermione went off together and forgot about him. The upsetting thoughts spun round and round in Harry's head as he lay back on his bed, and after a while he drifted into a restless sleep.

He was running again, always running, the dark corridor around him feeling claustrophobic and restricting. A door loomed at the end of the corridor and he raced towards it, feeling like the most important thing was behind that door and he would have important knowledge if he just managed to open it and get into that room…he reached the door and rattled the handle but it was locked, and he kicked at it furiously, fruitlessly, until his surrounding melted into something entirely different.

His frustration ebbing away immediately into a feeling of panic and fear, Harry saw the now familiar darkness with hints of gold and sparkling jewels flashing into his vision every now and then. Dread filled every fibre of Harry's being, and he could only stand and watch as he saw a hideous vision of a giant black snake twisting and writhing out of a ghostly book. Blood dripped from the hole that gaped in the middle of the book, and glistened on the teeth of the monstrous serpent. It was with that horrifying image that Harry awoke suddenly in a cold sweat.

Rolling over, Harry caught his breath and sighed, wondering when these terrifying dreams would stop. To distract himself, Harry decided he had to write back to Sirius and try to find out when he was getting out of here. Everything had turned on its head, and he needed to know what was happening as soon as possible.

Sitting at his desk, Harry pulled paper and a quill towards him and started to scratch out a message.

_Dear Snuffles,_

_Ok so I've been attacked by dementors and I'm probably expelled from Hogwarts. What the hell is happening?! I need to know when I'm getting out of here, please tell me I can come and stay with you soon. Thanks for your letter, it's nice to know at least someone out there cares how I feel about all of this._

_See you soon, I hope!_

_Love Harry_

Harry beckoned Hedwig down from her roost on top of his wardrobe, and sent her off with the letter to Sirius. He hoped for the good of his sanity that Sirius would write back to him soon. Settling down on his bed, Harry resigned himself to a long wait, and drifted back off to sleep.

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Ok so there you have it! In the next chapter Harry should get to Grimmauld place and the AU will kick in soon so it will get more interesting, I promise! Please please follow favourite and review! x


	3. Chapter 3

Here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy it! Please R&R

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Chapter 3

Harry lay on his bed, in an almost catatonic state. It had been three days, three long days since the incident with the dementors. No letter had arrived from Sirius, or from anyone else for that matter. The last three days had been spent in alternating moods. One minute it was extreme anger at himself, Dumbledore, Ron and Hermione, the Dursleys and just about anyone else he could think of. The rest of the time he would be lying on his bed, unresponsive for hours on end, gazing at the ceiling listlessly. He was thinking about what on earth was going on in the wizarding world to cause dementors to turn up at his home in Little Whinging, and what Voldemort was up to if he wasn't out killing and torturing muggles.

Heaving a sigh, Harry wondered why Sirius still hadn't written back to him. Had he given up on Harry, just like everyone else seemed to have? It didn't seem much to ask, for even a small note telling him what was happening now. Was he still going to be expelled from Hogwarts? Had Dumbledore managed to sort anything out with the Ministry? A feeling of anxiety immediately settled over Harry as he thought about the idea of never going back to Hogwarts, but he was pulled away from his thoughts a moment later by Uncle Vernon rapping on his door.

"We're going out."

"What?"

"I said, we're going out."

"Fine."

"I'm locking you in your room, so you can't touch anything."

"Whatever."

Vernon squinted his eyes at Harry suspiciously, obviously wondering about his lack of response. The truth was, Harry honestly didn't care about anything the Dursleys did at this point. What did it matter to him? He watched uninterestedly as Vernon walked back out of his room and a moment later he heard the click of the lock.

It could have been a minute later or an hour later, he had lost track of time, but Harry was suddenly aware of the sound of voices downstairs. The voices definitely didn't belong to the Dursleys. His interest sparked, Harry jumped off his bed and grabbed his wand, cautiously creeping towards the door. Whoever was downstairs, it was apparent that they were getting closer. Harry crept closer to the door, heart racing, trying to hear what the voices were saying. Just as he got within a foot of the door his lock clicked open and he jumped back, cat like, as the door swung open towards him.

Harry stared out of his door in shock at the crowd of people that were standing in the Dursleys' hallway. At the front was Mad Eye Moody, his (supposed) old professor. Next to him was Remus Lupin, and clamouring behind them were a few other people that Harry had never seen before. He looked in confusion at Remus, who took pity on him and stepped forwards.

"Harry, it's good to see you again! We're here to rescue you," he smiled at Harry, extending a hand for him to shake. Harry shook it and stared in wonder, lost for words.

"I…it's great to see you too, professor! What's happening, why are there so many people here?"

"You can call me Remus, Harry, I'm not your professor anymore after all. When we put forward the idea to come and get you from the Dursleys, the idea seemed very popular…" Remus tailed off, glancing in amusement at the assortment of bashful wizards and witches behind him. "Let me introduce you to everyone. This is Nymphadora," Remus said, pointing at a young witch with bright purple hair standing next to him. She scowled at Remus.

"It's Tonks!"

"Ok, Tonks. She prefers to be known by her last name."

"So would you, if your parents had called you Nymphadora," she said testily, "nice to meet you Harry." Harry smiled at her, then turned his attention back to Remus as he began to introduce everyone else, pointing to everyone in turn.

"This is Elphias Doge, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Emeline Vance, Dedalus Diggle, Hestia Jones, Sturgis Podmore and Mad Eye Moody."

Harry smiled nervously at all of them in turn, overwhelmed by the large crowd that seemed to be standing far too close to him.

"Alright everyone, we need to get going. Harry, get your suitcase packed and meet us downstairs in 5 minutes," Moody growled at Harry in his deep scratchy voice. With one last glance at the group, Harry turned and grabbed his trunk, throwing everything into it hastily. Somehow managing to cram the lid shut, Harry dragged his trunk down the stairs, wincing at the loud bang it made on every step.

Entering the kitchen, Harry saw the group of people crowded around staring in awe and confusion at the assortment of muggle appliances around the room. Tonks looked particularly puzzled by the dishwasher, and Dedalus Diggle was poking the microwave with his wand, apparently fascinated. Remus turned and saw Harry standing awkwardly in the doorway, and ushered him into the room.

"We're just waiting for the signal, Harry, and then we'll be off. Get your broom ready," Remus advised, and Harry pulled out his Firebolt.

"Wow, a Firebolt!" Tonks said in an awed voice, and Harry grinned at her.

"There's the first signal!" Moody growled, pointing out the window at a shower of red sparks in the sky. Everyone exited the room and stood in the back garden, mounted on their brooms and waiting with bated breath. Harry saw his breath misting in front of him and felt the chill air around him, wishing he had thought to put on a thicker coat. It was too late now, however, and with a shower of green sparks in the sky Moody called out the signal for them all to take off.

If it had been cold on the ground, it was nothing to how it felt in the air. Harry felt as though he was going to be frozen to his broom in a minute, and his hands had already become numb. Adrenaline pumping through his veins, Harry followed the twists and turns of the group as they attempted to avoid detection by any muggles that happened to be looking up. Luckily it was a dark night with no moon, and they were fairly hidden against the black backdrop of the winter night sky.

After what felt like hours to Harry, with the freezing wind whipping at his frozen face, Moody called for them to start the descent. They flew downwards, the tiny lights of the city looming up towards them as they rushed towards the ground. Coming to a halt, they landed in a small square in what seemed to be the outskirts of London. Harry looked around, mildly confused at the location and wondering why they were here.

As he stood somewhat awkwardly, Moody shepherded them all across the square to stand in between two gloomy houses. Harry opened his mouth to ask where they were, but he was ushered into silence and simply handed a piece of paper by Mad Eye. Harry took it uncomprehendingly and read what was on the paper.

'The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London'.

"What's the Order of the—" Harry began, but he was cut off quickly.

"Not here!" Moody snarled, "wait until we're inside!"

Harry looked around, and saw that they were standing between houses eleven and thirteen. He looked at Remus in confusion.

"Where's number twelve?"

"Remember what you just memorised," Remus advised him, and Harry thought the sentence through in his head. When he reached the part about number twelve, Grimmauld place, a house suddenly began to appear between the other two houses. It pushed its way out, shoving the neighbouring houses to the side, although it appeared the muggles inside had no idea. Harry watched in amazement, to the amused look of Remus.

"Come on, hurry up", Moody pushed Harry forwards, poking him in the back. He stumbled up the steps towards the old black door, and Remus tapped it once with his wand.

"Get inside, quick, but don't go far and don't touch anything," Remus whispered to him. Harry apprehensively crept forwards, taking in his surroundings. The hallway was exceptionally dark and dingy, and covered with cobwebs. It looked like it hadn't been used in years, there was a distinct feeling of neglect and abandonment in the air. It appeared that someone had beheaded and mounted several house elves on the wall, and Harry was starting to feel more and more foreboding. Why on earth had he been taken to this house that gave off an incredibly dark aura?

"Hang on, I'll get some light in here," Harry heard Remus' quiet voice behind him, and with a muttered spell the gas lights down the hallway sputtered into life and cast a sickly light on them which wasn't much better than the darkness. As Harry looked around, trying to get an idea of where he was, he heard footsteps coming from the other end of the hall. Harry looked up and saw the face of his godfather appearing out of the shadows.

"_Sirius_!" Harry whispered, rushing towards him. Sirius grinned and enveloped him in a bone crushing bear hug. It was overwhelming to be here, after being at the Dursleys all this time. It didn't matter that he was in this dank, miserable house which virtually stank of the dark arts, he was with Sirius now and it felt like home. Harry pulled back slightly and looked at his godfather. Harry thought he looked healthier than the last time he had seen him, his dark hair was cropped fairly short, accentuated by a floppy fringe that almost brushed the tops of his grey eyes. This, coupled with the wide grin on his face, made him appear years younger.

Harry reluctantly pulled away and allowed himself to be ushered further into the house by Moody. He was greeted by Molly Weasley who pulled him into another hug.

"Harry, dear, it's good to see you! You look thin, have the Dursleys been feeding you properly?" she tutted at him, taking in his thin frame. Harry snorted.

"Of course not! When do they ever?" he said wryly, earning him a roll of the eyes from Mrs Weasley and a concerned look from Sirius.

"They haven't been feeding you? Wait til I get my hands on them, they'll regret it," Sirius growled angrily.

"Leave it, Sirius. Get back into the meeting, we've got to press on," Moody snarled at him and walked towards the room that Molly and Sirius had come from. Harry began to follow them, but Molly stopped him before he could enter.

"The meeting is just for Order members Harry, you should go upstairs and see Ron and Hermione. Straight up the stairs, first door on the left," she whispered to him, and ushered him towards the stairs. Harry thanked her and began to climb, suddenly feeling tiredness wash over him as the adrenaline from the journey and seeing Sirius again began to wear off. He trudged up the stairs and turned the corner, heading towards the room with a dim light coming from it.

Harry had barely opened the door before he was bombarded by a very enthusiastic Hermione Granger.

"Harry!" she squealed, throwing her arms around him and screeching in his ear. "I'm so glad you're here at last!"

"Give him some space, Mione," Ron laughed, clapping Harry on the shoulder as Hermione let him go with a blush. Harry grinned at them, but for some reason it didn't quite feel genuine. All of the angry thoughts he'd had about them over the summer were flooding back, and he was suddenly aware of the reason he had been so frustrated for all this time.

"So. Where are we?" Harry said flatly.

"Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix," Hermione said immediately. She looked disconcerted at Harry's tone.

"Yes ok, I know that, but will someone please tell me what that is?" said Harry heatedly, feeling his anger building again. It didn't seem to take much these days to get him frustrated. Hermione looked at him nervously, but answered the question.

"The Order was set up by Dumbledore, it's made up of all the people that fought You-Know-Who in the last war."

"Right. And that was too dangerous to put in a letter, I guess," Harry countered.

"Dumbledore seemed to think so. He really didn't want us to tell you anything, Harry, or I swear we would have!" Hermione looked pleadingly at him, but he found that he didn't care.

"What a surprise, Dumbledore didn't want me to know anything. Seems to be doing that a lot recently. It was me that saw Voldemort return, me that saw Cedric killed right in front of me, but why should I be told anything? Let's all just leave Harry at the Dursleys with no information, no idea about what's going on in the wizarding world even though he just had his own blood taken from him, even though he had to watch as Voldemort used the blood to get a new body, even though he duelled with him—"

Harry's voice was rising and he felt a grim sort of satisfaction when he saw Ron and Hermione's expressions.

"Harry… we're sorry, we really are! But Dumbledore thought you were safer there—" Hermione began, but Harry was having none of it.

"OH, WELL IF DUMBLEDORE THINKS I WAS SAFE THERE, IT MUST BE TRUE! HAVE EITHER OF YOU BEEN ATTACKED BY DEMENTORS THIS SUMMER? NO, I DIDN'T THINK SO! I'M THE ONE THAT'S BEEN LEFT TO STARVE WITH THE DURSLEYS FOR A MONTH, AND YOU'VE BEEN HOLED UP HERE WITH EVERYONE ELSE, KNOWING WHAT'S GOING ON! WHAT DID YOU DO TO DESERVE THAT?" Harry yelled, feeling his voice grow hoarse. He felt almost pleased when he saw tears in Hermione's eyes, then the fight suddenly went out of him and he sat down on the bed, feeling drained.

"Harry…mate, we really are sorry," Ron muttered, averting his eyes. Harry huffed and looked at the floor, feeling slightly ashamed of himself although he was still frustrated.

"Whatever. What have you been doing here this whole time, anyway?" Harry asked, trying to keep his voice even.

"We've been cleaning up the house, trying to make it actually fit to live in," Ron supplied eagerly, obviously very interested in steering the conversation in a different direction. "It hasn't been lived in for years, and it's infested with all sorts of weird creatures and dark objects."

"Right," Harry replied, still trying to wrap his mind around this situation. Ok, so he had been kept in the dark for weeks but he was here now, he had Sirius, and despite how angry he was at them he was still happy deep down that Ron and Hermione were here too. He sighed, and looked up at the two of them. They were gazing anxiously at him, and Harry felt regret wash over him.

"Look, I'm sorry—" he began, but Ron cut him off.

"No, it's fine mate. You have every reason to be angry. Just try to remember that it's not our fault, yeah?" Ron spoke quietly, and Harry nodded at him, feeling rather ashamed. The atmosphere in the room felt much better now that the air had been somewhat cleared, and Harry laid back on his bed, feeling like he could almost fall asleep. A few minutes later he heard the hushed voices of his friends as they left the room to give him some space, and he drifted off into a fitful doze.

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Hope you enjoyed the latest chapter :) I'd love it if I got some reviews for this story so I can know if I'm doing ok and what I can improve on! Thanks for reading! x


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The kitchen was dark, dingy and cold. Flickering at one end of the room, a large open fire was endeavouring to warm the thick stone walls, casting shadows that danced eerily across the ceiling. Harry shivered and rubbed his arms, trying to get some heat into them and dispel the goosebumps. During the day they had been busy cleaning one of the bedrooms and Harry had worked up a sweat, but now that he was sitting in the kitchen waiting for dinner he was really starting to feel the chill of the house settling in.

"Alright there, Harry?" Sirius asked him, the amused expression on his face turning to one of concern.

"I'm fine, just a bit cold," Harry smiled at him, feeling another involuntary shiver go through him. Sirius took one look at him shivering and got his wand out, whispering something under his breath. All of a sudden Harry was filled with a warmth as if he'd just been soaking in a hot bath. He grinned widely at Sirius, giving him a quick hug.

"Thanks, Snuffles!"

"No problem, Harry. Can't watch you sitting there shivering. I blame this house, it always was freezing in here, and my parents never did anything about it." Sirius' tone became flat and reproachful.

"Your parents? You mean—"

"Yeah, this is where I grew up. I'm the last Black descendent left so it came to me. I don't particularly want to be here but I don't have any choice at the moment, so I'm stuck." He sounded bored, almost petulant, and Harry couldn't help but relate to what he was saying.

"I know what you mean. Being stuck at the Dursley's was hell this summer." Sirius gave him a sympathetic look, but his face was still hardened in annoyance.

"At least you could go out, stretch your legs, get into a few fights," Sirius began.

"A fight with two dementors, you mean. You say that like it's a good thing!" Harry said incredulously.

"It would have made it more interesting, having a terrifying fight for my soul. Would've broken up the monotony. I've been inside for months now, it's really doing my head in," Sirius almost growled.

"How come?"

"Voldemort knows that I can turn into a dog, Wormtail will have told him by now. Plus, the Ministry are still looking for me, so it's safer for me to stay inside. That's what Dumbledore thinks, anyway." Harry detected a note of irritation in Sirius' voice when he spoke of Dumbledore, and he felt a sudden rush of affection for his godfather.

"At least you know what's going on. I've been left in the dark all summer," Harry grumbled.

"Yeah, that would be great if I didn't have to sit here listening to Snape give snide hints about him being out there risking his life while I'm sat at home all comfortable and lazy," Sirius snarled.

"Since when does it matter what that greasy bat thinks anyway?" Harry grinned at Sirius, trying to comfort him, and his grin widened as he watched Sirius let out a loud bark-like laugh. Sirius' smile really did make him look years younger, his handsome face lit up and there was a sparkle in his eyes as he swung an arm casually round Harry's shoulders and gave him a quick hug.

"You never spoke a truer word, Harry," he smirked.

Suddenly there was a loud crash from the hallway and the portrait of Mrs Black started shrieking. Remus and Bill rushed from the room to shut her up, while a blushing Tonks walked in followed by Mad Eye and Molly.

"I'm sorry everyone, it was that stupid troll's leg umbrella stand, I always trip over it!" Tonks apologised, slipping into a seat opposite Harry. "How are you doing, Harry?" she added, seeing him sitting across from her.

"Not bad, thanks. I like your hair today," he grinned, taking in the bright electric blue in a short spiky style that she'd chosen today.

"Thanks Harry! Do you think pink suits me more though?" she asked seriously.

"Er—" Harry began, but luckily Remus and Bill came back into the kitchen before he could attempt to formulate an answer.

"You look good with any hair colour, Tonks," Remus smiled at her and she promptly blushed bright red.

"You're just saying that, Remus," she chastised, but she grinned back at him nevertheless. Harry noticed Molly staring at the two of them with ill-concealed interest. Glancing at Sirius, he saw his godfather catch Remus' eye and give him an insinuating wink, which Remus promptly ignored and went to join Arthur Weasley in an in-depth conversation about how aeroplanes stay up.

After a few minutes of Sirius trying to tease Remus and being resolutely ignored by the werewolf, and Harry having an enthusiastic discussion with Tonks about the Quidditch world cup, Molly served the dinner and they all fell quiet for a while as they filled up with her delicious cooking.

A warm, content feeling had now fallen over the room, and the atmosphere was a relaxed one. Harry listened absent-mindedly to the other conversations around the table, feeling too sleepy to join in. Sirius was busy laughing with the twins about their latest prank, and giving them ideas that were fuelling the look of disapproval that Molly was sending their way. Arthur was telling anyone who would listen about his theory of how computers work, and Remus was having a serious discussion with Bill about werewolves and their rights. Molly stifled a yawn, and stretched.

"Time for bed soon, I think!" she announced to the room.

"Not just yet Molly," Sirius spoke up, glancing in Harry's direction. "I'm surprised you haven't asked anything about Voldemort yet, Harry. I would have thought that's the first thing you'd have wanted to know."

"I did ask!" Harry said indignantly. "I was under the impression that I wasn't allowed to know anything!"

"And you'd be right, Harry! Sirius, you know we're not supposed to say anything to him. Dumbledore clearly told us—"

"He said that we shouldn't tell him more than he needs to know. Harry was the one that saw Voldemort come back, I don't see why he shouldn't at least know the basics," Sirius spoke back to Molly with a bite to his tone.

"Hang on a minute!" Fred angrily chimed in. "If Harry gets to hear information then why can't we? We're of age!" he said angrily, and Molly sighed exasperatedly.

"I didn't say _anyone_ could hear any information, actually! Harry, you're too young." Molly said adamantly.

"He's not a child!" Sirius butted in heatedly. "And it's not your decision anyway, he's not your son!"

"He's as good as!" Molly said fiercely, glaring at Sirius.

Harry watched as the argument heated up, Sirius and Molly staring daggers at each other. It was nice of Molly to say that he was as good as her son, but he was backing Sirius on this one. He was definitely not a child, and considering he was the one that had his blood forcibly taken from him, was made to watch as Voldemort come back to power, and even duelled with him, he figured that he had the right to know what Voldemort was planning now. It didn't look like Sirius and Molly were going to let up any time soon so Harry decided to chime in.

"Look, I think I have a right to know what's going on. I understand that you can't tell me anything but can't I at least have the basic facts?" he pleaded, hoping he would be able to win Molly over with reason. Seeing that she was being backed against a metaphorical wall, she looked desperately at her husband to help her.

"Arthur, back me up here!" she said desperately. He looked at her awkwardly, hesitating.

"Look, Molly, I think Harry is right. He's old enough to know the basic facts," Arthur said quietly. Molly huffed, knowing she was defeated.

"Fine, fine! You can tell him whatever you like, Sirius, _within reason_." Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Ginny, you can go to bed!"

A cacophony of noise and protest immediately erupted as they all started complaining at the tops of their voices.

"Hey! If Harry is old enough to hear about the Order, then so are we!" Fred said angrily to his mother.

"Yeah, we're of age!" George agreed. Arthur put a hand on Molly's shoulder and spoke gently to her.

"I really don't think we can stop Fred and George listening, Molly. They are of age, after all."

"FINE!" Molly shouted, she was fuming now. "Fine, but Ron Hermione and Ginny, you three are still going to bed."

"Harry will just tell us everything later anyway, won't you Harry?" Ron asked him, looking slightly worried when Harry hesitated. Why should he tell Ron and Hermione anything at all? They had kept him in the dark all summer, it would serve them right… Harry quickly suppressed the resentful thoughts that swam into his mind, reminding himself that it wasn't their fault that they hadn't told him anything.

"Of course I will!" Harry replied, and Ron looked relieved. Molly, recognising defeat, escorted Ginny up the stairs to make sure she went to bed, not trusting herself to talk. Ginny, on the contrary, made as much noise as she could as she stomped up the stairs, shouting and screaming about how it wasn't fair. Walburga Black joined in as they went through the hall, and it took a moment of ensuing chaos before everyone but Molly was sitting around the table again, ready to talk. Harry felt adrenaline pumping through his veins, he was both nervous and excited.

"Well, Harry, what do you want to know?" Sirius asked, looking at him seriously.

"What's Voldemort up to?" Harry replied at once. "I haven't seen anything that looks like him yet, no funny deaths or disappearances—" Harry began, but he was interrupted by Remus.

"That's because there haven't been any yet. He's laying low at the moment, biding his time."

"But why? How come he isn't going around killing and torturing muggles?" Harry asked, perplexed.

"Because he's trying not to draw attention to himself at the moment," Sirius said. "His great come-back didn't go exactly the way he planned it to."

"Why?"

"You messed it up for him, of course! The first thing you did after you saw it happen was to tell Dumbledore, and he's the last person Voldemort wanted to know about his return. Dumbledore is the only wizard Voldemort was ever afraid of, remember."

"How do you know what Voldemort's thinking?" Harry asked interestedly.

"Dumbledore has a shrewd idea, and his shrewd ideas usually turn out to be pretty accurate," Bill supplied with a wry smile.

"So if Voldemort isn't busy killing people, what is he doing?" Harry asked, fascinated.

"Well, a large part of his plan is trying to gather together followers to build up his army again. He had huge numbers at his command during the first war, including Death Eaters and Dark creatures. After the war a lot of them were killed, or deserted him when they believed him to be dead."

"So the Order is trying to stop him getting followers?"

"We're certainly trying," said Remus.

"How?"

"The main idea is to convince as many people as possible that Voldemort is back. Fudge isn't making that very easy, however," Sirius muttered.

"How come?"

"It's his attitude to this whole situation. He's still flatly refusing to believe that Voldemort is back."

"But why?" asked harry desperately. "Why is he being so stupid? Dumbledore—"

"That's exactly it, Harry. _Dumbledore_. Fudge is scared of him, he thinks he wants to overthrow him, to be Minister of Magic." Sirius spoke with a twisted note of amusement in his voice.

"What?" asked Harry incredulously. "Dumbledore doesn't want that—"

"Of course he doesn't!" Remus said. "He never has. Dumbledore was a very popular candidate for the role when Millicent Bagnold retired, but he didn't want it. Fudge got elected instead, and it seems the power has gone to his head. He finds it much more comfortable to convince himself that Dumbledore is making up rumours than to admit to himself and everyone else that Voldemort is actually back."

"But how can he think that Dumbledore made it all up? That _I_ made it all up?" Harry asked angrily.

"Because that would mean trouble like the Ministry hasn't seen for nearly fourteen years," Sirius said bitterly, "he just doesn't want to accept it."

"You see the problem, Harry. If the Ministry keep telling everyone that there's nothing to fear from Voldemort then it's very difficult to convince the public that there's anything wrong, especially when they really don't want to hear it in the first place." Remus sounded defeated.

"So, that's why the Daily Prophet keeps trying to discredit Dumbledore?" Harry asked, "Because he's trying to put the news out about Voldemort coming back?"

"That's right, Harry," Sirius said with a tight smile. "But if he keeps defying the Ministry then he'll have a lot worse than a bad reputation. They'll put him in Azkaban, and we really can't afford to have him locked up. With Dumbledore around trying to stir up the truth and ruin Voldemort's plans, he's held at bay. If Dumbledore gets sent to Azkaban then Voldemort will have a free reign," Sirius said grimly.

Harry looked at the floor, fear and anxiety causing adrenaline to continue pumping through his veins. His brain was working overtime, and a thought occurred to him.

"Earlier you said that gathering followers was part of his plan at the moment. What else is he up to?" Harry asked suspiciously. He didn't miss the meaningful look that Sirius and Remus shared.

"We think he's after something…something he can only get by stealth." Sirius said slowly, and it was obvious that he was choosing his words carefully.

"Like what?" Harry asked eagerly.

"Like a weapon. Something he didn't have last time."

"What kind of weapon? Something worse than the killing curse?" Harry asked.

"That's enough." Molly's voice came from the shadows and Harry jumped. He hadn't heard her come back into the room. She looked furious, and she glared at everyone. "I want you in bed, now. All of you," she added, looking round at Fred, George, Ron and Hermione. "You've given Harry plenty of information. Tell him anything more and you might as well just induct him into the Order."

"Why not? I want to join, I want to fight!" Harry said quickly.

"No." It was Remus that spoke this time. "The Order is for overage wizards only Harry. Wizards who have left school," he added, when he saw Fred about to argue. "I think we really have said enough, Sirius."

Sirius shrugged, but didn't argue. One by one they all got up and walked towards the stairs, and Harry followed, recognising defeat.

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Hope you liked that chapter! Please review :) x


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Harry followed the delicious smell of frying sausages into the kitchen. Walking over to the table, he saw Molly Weasley observing several frying pans on the large oven filled with piles of sausages, eggs and bacon and he took a seat, stomach rumbling in anticipation. As he waited impatiently, Tonks entered the kitchen along with Bill and Arthur Weasley, and Remus Lupin. They all plonked down on seats around the table, and a moment later Sirius strolled in too, tipping an irritated Crookshanks off of the chair and sitting down next to Harry.

"Morning, Harry. Sleep well?" Sirius asked him with a grin.

"Alright," Harry said, stifling a yawn.

"You're fooling no one, Harry," Sirius laughed. Harry grinned back at him, punching him lightly on the arm.

"Fine! How did you sleep, Snuffles?" Harry questioned him back. The dark circles under Sirius' eyes suggested that he wasn't well rested.

"I slept perfectly well. Don't look at me like that!" he said, at Harry's amused look. "I'm just not a morning person, alright!"

He poked Harry in the ribs in retaliation and Harry wriggled away, realising in horror that Sirius had found his one ticklish spot. Harry gulped, hoping he hadn't noticed. Looking sideways at him, Harry saw Sirius had a particularly evil look on his face and he panicked, jumping out of his seat, but he was too slow. Before he even reached the kitchen door Sirius had grabbed him, pinned him against a wall and was edging closer towards Harry's ribs, laughing at the terrified expression on his face.

Leaning close, Sirius whispered in his ear, "I've got you now…" Harry attempted to wriggle away but Sirius laughed huskily and let loose, tickling Harry's ribs and making him scream like a girl.

Harry was laughing hysterically, in between screeching and shouting "HELP!" at the top of his voice. Sirius paused briefly and Harry panted, catching his breath, hoping that Sirius was about to give up. A moment later however, Sirius gave his most evil grin yet and put his hands under Harry's t-shirt, tickling him even harder. Harry fell on the floor, laughing so hard he felt his lungs were going to explode, and tried to push away the heavy lump on top of him that was his supposedly grown up god father.

"Stop, stop! I admit defeat!" Harry gasped out between laughing, although for some strange reason he almost thought that he liked the feeling of Sirius laying on top of him, pinning him to the ground. He opened his eyes, and gasped as he saw Sirius' handsome face just inches from his own, lit up with laughter. His eyes really were beautiful this close up, such a striking shade of silvery grey... His musings were cut short by Molly Weasley shouting at them in an exasperated but amused tone of voice.

"Boys, you'd better get over here if you want any breakfast before it's all gone!"

They both quickly scrambled up and ran to the table, grabbing what food was left and shovelling it in their mouths as if they hadn't eaten in weeks. Harry looked up and saw Remus' amused expression across the table, and he grinned back.

"We're going to need you in the drawing room today, everyone. There're a lot more doxies than I thought in there, and I found a nest of dead puffskeins under the sofa," Molly said to the room in general. They all ate up quickly, and after a little while of chatting they met in the old drawing room. It was a long, thin room, with olive green walls and a horrible musty smell. The walls were hung with dirty tapestries that looked centuries old, and the long curtains on the far wall were buzzing as if full of bees. Molly was standing near the curtains, looking rather odd with a cloth tied around her face covering her nose and mouth, and holding a spray bottle of black liquid.

"Everyone cover your faces and take a spray," she said briskly, pointing towards a pile of cloths and spray bottles in the corner of the room. Harry quickly tied a cloth around his face and picked up a bottle, looking to Molly for further instructions. "This is Doxycide – I've never seen an infestation this bad," Molly continued, looking in trepidation at the buzzing curtains.

Just then, Sirius walked in holding what appeared to be a bag of dead rats. Harry looked at him curiously and Sirius caught his eye.

"Just been feeding Buckbeak," he explained, "I keep him upstairs in my mother's old bedroom."

"I'd forgotten about Buckbeak! Can I see him at some point?" Harry asked eagerly. He had a soft spot for the hippogriff after Sirius had escaped on him during his third year at Hogwarts.

"Course you can!" Sirius smiled at him. Their conversation was cut off by Molly Weasley's business-like voice.

"Ok everyone, get ready! When I say the word, spray directly at the curtains. The doxies will come flying out at you, but one spray to the face should knock them out. Their fangs are poisonous, I have some antidote here but I'd rather we didn't need it, so be careful." She raised her spray in front of her, about a foot away from the curtains, and everyone else followed her lead.

"Alright, spray!" Molly shouted, and Harry began spraying along with everyone else. Almost immediately, doxies started flying out of the curtains at them. They looked like fairies with thick black hair, beetles wings and 4 tiny fists raised. One fully grown doxy flew directly at Harry's face, teeth bared, and he caught it full in the face with a spray of Doxycide. It hit the ground with a thud, and Harry gingerly picked it up and put it in the bucket.

After a while, Harry noticed Fred picking up an unconscious doxy while his mother wasn't looking, and putting it in his pocket. Harry looked at him inquiringly, and Fred muttered to him under his breath.

"We want to experiment with doxy venom for our Skiving Snackboxes," he whispered.

"What are Skiving Snackboxes?" Harry asked, intrigued.

"Range of sweets that make you ill," George whispered, keeping an eye on his mother. "Not really ill, just ill enough to get you out of class."

"You swallow one end, and it makes you sick. Then when you swallow the other end, as soon as you're out of class, it makes you all better!" Fred winked at Harry.

"We've been developing them this summer. We haven't had the chance to get premises yet, but we're running the joke shop as a mail order service at the moment."

"All thanks to you, Harry," George grinned, "luckily mum doesn't look at the Daily Prophet anymore so she has no idea we're advertising in there".

"That's great, guys," Harry said in admiration. He had no idea the twins had got so far towards getting their business started, and he was very happy that he had been able to help them out with his Triwizard winnings.

"Cheers, Harry!" the twins said in unison. Molly looked over at them and they hurried back to work, spraying the doxies until only the odd one or two zoomed out at them. They collapsed down on the old sofa and various arm chairs, taking off the cloths from around their faces and mopping their brows. It had been hard work, and they were all looking forward to lunch.

"Alright, I'm going to make some sandwiches, you lot stay here," Molly said sternly, and strode off down the stairs. Harry turned and saw Sirius standing at one end of the room, looking at one of the old tapestries on the wall with an almost resentful look on his face. He walked over, standing next to Sirius and reading the tapestry that hung before them. It seemed to be a family tree, going backwards to the Middle Ages. He scanned the bottom of the tapestry.

"Hey, your name isn't on here!" Harry remarked. He could see that it was an ancient Black family tree, so surely Sirius' name should be on there somewhere?

"It used to be there," Sirius pointed grumpily to a black charred mark on the tapestry, almost like a cigarette burn, "but my mother blasted it off when I ran away from home."

"You ran away from home?"

"Yeah, when I was sixteen. I'd had enough."

"Why?" Harry asked, surprised. He knew Sirius had had a tough adulthood in prison, but he had no idea his childhood had been bad as well.

"Why did I leave? Because I hated the whole lot of them," Sirius remarked, smiling bitterly. "I hated my parents with their pureblood mania, convinced that to be a Black made you practically royalty. I hated my soft brother who was stupid enough to believe them…that's him there," said Sirius, pointing towards the name Regulus Arcturus Black on the tapestry. There was a date of death next to it.

"He was younger than me, and a much better son as my parents constantly reminded me."

"But…he died," Harry said quietly.

"Yeah, stupid idiot. He joined the Death Eaters."

"You're kidding!"

"Come on Harry, you've seen what this house is like, you must have guessed the sort of people my family were."

"Were your parents Death Eaters too?" Harry asked tentatively.

"No, no, but they thought Regulus had the right idea. They agreed completely with Voldemort's views on purifying the Wizarding race, getting rid of Muggleborns and having Purebloods run everything. A lot of people got cold feet when Voldemort showed his true colours, and they saw what he was willing to do to get power. I bet my parents thought Regulus was a right little hero to start with though," Sirius said bitterly.

"Was in an auror that killed him?" Harry asked hesitantly.

"Oh no," Sirius said. "No, he was killed by Voldemort. Or on Voldemort's orders, more likely, I doubt Regulus was ever important enough to be killed by Voldemort in person. From what I found out after he died, he got in so far, then panicked about what he was being asked to do and tried to back out. Well, you don't just hand in your resignation to Voldemort. It's a lifetime of service or death."

Harry looked at him sadly. His godfather had had a terrible life, and it really wasn't fair that he was stuck here now in this house full of bad memories. Harry glanced at the tapestry and noticed a name on it that stuck out.

"You're related to the Malfoys!" He exclaimed.

"Yes, all the old Pureblood families are interrelated. If you're only going to let your children marry other Purebloods then it's bound to happen, there aren't that many of us left. Two of my cousins made respectable Pureblood marriages, but Andromeda ignored the family's beliefs and married Ted Tonks, a muggleborn. She was always my favourite cousin," Sirius said.

"Tonks?"

"Yes, Tonks is related to me too."

Harry looked at the tapestry but didn't see her name.

"I expect my mother blasted her off the tree as well. Yes, see, Andromeda should have been there, with Tonks underneath," he pointed to another set of blast marks next to where it said Narcissa Malfoy and next to it, Bellatrix Lestrange.

"Lestrange…" Harry said aloud. He was sure that name rang a bell.

"She's in Azkaban." Sirius said shortly. "Along with her scum of a husband."

Harry remembered now. She had been arrested along with Barty Crouch Jr for the crimes committed against Neville's parents.

"You never mentioned that you were related to—" Harry began, but Sirius cut him off.

"Do you think I'm proud to be related to people like that?" he said heatedly.

"Sorry," Harry quickly said, "I didn't mean—"

"No, it's fine, don't apologise. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. I just hate being back here," he muttered, and he looked so dejected that Harry couldn't help but put his arms around him and pull him into a hug. Sirius was tense at first, but he quickly relaxed into the hug and put his arms around Harry in return, pulling him closer.

"I'm glad I have you here, Harry," Sirius whispered, "You're keeping me sane."

Harry pulled back slightly and smiled tentatively at his godfather, relieved when he smiled back. He looked into Sirius' greay eyes and suddenly remembered the feeling he'd had earlier when Sirius had been on top of him in the kitchen. He blushed slightly, and looked away.

"I understand how you feel about being stuck here," Harry said quietly, "I'd hate to have to go back to the Dursleys after thinking I was rid of them for good."

"You've never told me much about them, Harry. How bad was it?" Sirius asked him gently.

"Could've been worse, I guess. I mean they made me sleep in the cupboard under the stairs until I was eleven—" Harry started, but Sirius interrupted him loudly.

"They _what_?" He shouted, pulling out of their embrace and striding up and down angrily.

"Yeah," Harry said bitterly. "They locked me in it whenever I did something wrong, or when I did what I later found out was accidental magic. I guess they were at the opposite end of the scale from your family, they thought everything to do with magic was horrible and unnatural, and they were under the impression to start with that they could 'stamp it out of me'."

Sirius was furious, Harry knew that if he had been allowed to leave Grimmauld Place he would probably be half way to Privet Drive already to confront the Dursleys.

"Why do you still go back there every summer if they treat you like that?" Sirius asked.

"Well, Dumbledore seems to think it's the safest place for me," Harry said bitterly. "There's some kind of protection on the house."

"I see. Of course it would be Dumbledore's idea," Sirius said darkly.

"This place is practically impenetrable though…" Harry said thoughtfully. "Surely it would be just as safe for me to stay here?"

"I wish you could, Harry, I really do. But we both know Dumbledore won't allow it," Sirius said quietly.

"I would feel a lot better about the trial if I knew I could come back here, if I was expelled," Harry whispered. He had a sinking feeling in his stomach as soon as he mentioned the trial. He had put it to the back of his mind until now, but suddenly all the feelings of fear and anxiety came flooding back to him and he panicked slightly.

"Hey, you'll be alright," Sirius smiled at him. "I thought I could maybe come with you to the trial, as Snuffles, for a bit of moral support."

That certainly made Harry feel at least a little bit better about the whole thing.

"You would do that for me?" Harry asked, a tiny flicker of hope building.

"Of course I would! But seriously Harry, you'll be fine. I think I should have a word with Dumbledore about where you stay during the holidays though…it can't be right, you staying with those muggles."

Harry grinned at his godfather, feeling happier than he had a moment ago. He knew deep down that it would be pretty difficult, if not impossible, to change Dumbledore's mind about where he lived, but it was worth a shot.

"Come on, you two, there won't be any food left!" They heard Molly shout at them and they both jumped. Harry had forgotten they were even in a room with other people, he had been completely absorbed in his conversation with Sirius. They walked over and tucked in to a plate of ham sandwiches.

Harry tried not to think about the hearing that afternoon, which he managed quite well as clearing the cabinets was a job that required a lot of concentration. There were a lot of strange objects in there, and many of them seemed reluctant to be moved. There was a silver snuff box that bit Sirius on the hand, a pair of tweezers that scuttled around and attempted to pierce people's skin. There was an old tinkling music box that started playing and made everyone feel curiously sleepy until Ginny had the sense to slam it shut. Also, they found a large heavy locket that no one could open, and Mundungus redeemed himself slightly in Molly's eyes when he saved Ron from a pair of robes that tried to strangle him.

Mrs Weasley kept them all working hard over the next few days, and it felt to Harry that they were waging war on the house. It helped that Harry knew how miserable Sirius had been here, as this made him put every effort he could into destroying any bad memories that might be lurking around in the dark objects that littered the house.

Various Order members popped in from time to time, some only stayed briefly such as Professor McGonagall who came in briefly for a whispered chat with Kingsley Shackebolt, and Snape whom Harry was very happy he hadn't had to come face to face with so far. Other people, however, were more than happy to stay and help with the cleaning. This included Remus, who was actually living in Grimmauld Place but kept disappearing for long stretches of time to do mysterious work for the Order. Tonks was also keen to stay and help out, and even Harry had noticed how close she had been getting to Remus lately. Sirius was always on hand to laugh and wink at Remus whenever he was caught complimenting Tonks, and Remus always steadfastly ignored him.

Harry found that he was actually having fun for the first time this summer, now that he was at Grimmauld Place. As long as he ignored the looming Ministry hearing, anyway. When he was distracted by cleaning the house or hanging out with Sirius it was fine, but when he lay alone in bed at night, or had a moment to himself during the day, the fear crept back over him and left him feeling breathless and sometimes almost paralysed with fear. The thought of what it would be like if he was expelled was too horrible to think about, although sometimes he couldn't help but imagine a Ministry official snapping his wand and ordering him to stay at the Dursleys forever. But he wouldn't let that happen…he was adamant that he would come and live here with Sirius.

Harry felt like a brick had dropped into his stomach when Molly turned to him on Wednesday evening at dinner and said quietly, "I've ironed your best clothes for tomorrow, Harry, and you should wash your hair too. A good first impression can work wonders!"

Harry gulped, and noticed that everyone in the room had turned to look at him. He swallowed dryly, putting down his knife and fork. His appetite had suddenly disappeared.

"How am I getting there?" he asked hoarsely, trying to sound as normal as possible.

"Arthur's taking you to work with him," Molly said gently.

"You can stay in my office until it's time for the hearing," Arthur smiled kindly at him.

Harry turned to look at Sirius, but his question was answered for him before he could ask it.

"Professor Dumbledore doesn't think it's a very good idea for Sirius to come with you," Molly said, "and I must say I agree." Sirius looked at her darkly and she pursed her lips.

"When did Dumbledore say that?" Harry asked quickly.

"He was here last night, dear, when you were in bed. He came to see how the cleaning was going, seemed very interested in that locket we found. He took it away with him, not sure what he thought he could do with it though, it doesn't even open," Molly said, but Harry wasn't really listening anymore. The fact that Dumbledore had been here the day before Harry's hearing and hadn't even bothered to talk to him made him feel even worse than before.

Harry went up to bed slowly, trying to shake off the overwhelming feeling of dread, and fell into a restless sleep. He was visited by the same old dreams as before, running down endless corridors towards unreachable locked doors. This time, his dream morphed into the now familiar scene of gold and jewels, and he saw that small gold cup that seemed the most important thing in the room. The feeling of fear was all around him, he could almost smell it, and he woke in a cold sweat again, wondering why he was dreaming about such an apparently harmless object that nevertheless filled him with terror.

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I hope you liked that chapter! I know not many people are reading this fic, but I really just want to ask anyone who reads this and enjoys it to drop me a review, even if it's just a couple of words. It would make my day :)


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Harry awoke suddenly at 5am the next morning, as abruptly as if someone had called his name. He lay in bed for a moment, feeling dread and fear completely take over every particle of his brain. When he felt like the fear would suffocate him, he decided that he should just get out of bed. He pulled on his freshly laundered clothes and padded down the stairs, heading towards the kitchen. Not expecting anyone to be in there, he was surprised when he saw Sirius sitting at the table alone, sipping a cup of tea.

"Morning Harry," Sirius smiled gently at him and pulled out the seat next to him for Harry to sit at. He sat down next to his godfather and sighed. Sirius gave him a sympathetic look.

"How are you feeling? Or is that a stupid question?" Sirius asked him with a small smile.

"Er…," Harry began, not sure what to say, but in the end he managed to sum it up with one word. "Terrified."

Sirius looked at him with a troubled expression. Harry tried to tell him that he was fine, really, but he couldn't seem to get the words out.

"I wish you could come with me, Snuffles," he managed to say, feeling his voice break a little. Sirius looked conflicted.

"I wish I could too, Harry, but even I can see that it would be stupid of me to walk right into the Ministry of Magic," Sirius replied softly.

Sirius shuffled his chair closer to Harry's and gently pulled him into a hug. The simple act of comfort and affection was enough to overwhelm Harry, and for a horrifying moment he felt like he was going to start crying.

"You're going to be fine, Harry, I promise," Sirius murmured in his ear softly. "And even if they find some way to expel you, I'll make it my personal mission to make sure you get to stay here with me. There's no way I'm ever letting you go back to those muggles," Sirius continued, running a hand soothingly through Harry's hair as he hugged him closely. Harry felt safe, and for the first time since last night he didn't feel quite so panicky about the hearing. He pulled away slightly so that he could look into Sirius' face, and blinked away the wetness that had formed in his eyes.

Their moment was interrupted by the arrival in the kitchen of Molly, Arthur, Remus and Tonks. Harry pulled away from Sirius, giving him a sad smile as the fear immediately rushed back over him in waves. Sirius ruffled his hair affectionately, his worried gaze lingering on Harry as he turned back to his tea.

"Harry, dear, you should have some breakfast," Molly said gently. "What do you want to eat?"

"Er, I'll just have some toast, thanks Mrs Weasley," Harry said quietly, his voice sounding hoarse in his ears. She hastened to make it for him and a minute later plonked down a plate of toast and marmalade in front of him. He tried to eat some, but it felt like chewing cardboard, and he had no appetite at all. After a minute or two of watching Harry attempt to chew the same bite of toast, Arthur took pity on him and stood up, stretching.

"We should get going, Harry. You'll be early but I think it'll be better than just hanging around here," Mr Weasley said briskly. Harry dropped his toast at once, and felt as if his stomach had dropped too. He stood and watched absently as Arthur readied himself for work, not sure what to do with himself. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, and his palms were sweating. Sirius stood abruptly and walked over to him, pulling him into a tight hug.

"Good luck, Harry," he said gruffly, and before Harry could formulate a response he was following Arthur out of the door and down the road towards the tube station.

His breath misted in front of him as they walked through the early morning chill. Eventually they reached the underground, and Harry was at least slightly distracted from thoughts of the hearing as he amusedly watched Mr Weasley react to all the muggle contraptions around them. Arthur was enthralled by the ticket barrier that swallowed his ticket and allowed them access to the platform, and he was bouncing in his seat excitedly as they sat on the tube, surrounded by bored looking business men and women.

After too short a journey they reached the correct tube station and began walking again, their surroundings becoming more and more dilapidated and run-down as they went along. It seemed an odd place for the Ministry of Magic, but then he supposed it was the last place anyone would think to look. After a short walk they came across an old red telephone box, and Arthur opened the door, gesturing for Harry to go inside. He entered the telephone box apprehensively and was followed in by Arthur, who picked up the receiver and typed in the number 62442.

A pleasant voice welcomed them to the Ministry of Magic and asked for their details, and a moment later they were headed down underground into the mysterious visitor's entrance to the Ministry. A minute or two later the telephone box lift arrived in a massive open area and Harry looked around in awe.

They were standing at one end of a very long and spectacular hall with a polished, dark wood floor. The peacock-blue ceiling was inlaid with gleaming golden symbols that were continually moving and changing like some enormous heavenly notice board. The walls on each side were panelled in shiny dark wood and had many gilded fireplaces set into them, with wizards and witches frequently appearing and disappearing into them.

Halfway down the hall was a fountain. A group of golden statues, larger than life-size, stood in the middle of a circular pool. Tallest of them all was a noble-looking wizard with his wand pointing straight up in the air. Grouped around him were a beautiful witch, a centaur, a goblin, and a house-elf. The last three were all looking adoringly up at the witch and wizard. Glittering jets of water were flying from the ends of the two wands, the point of the centaur's arrow, the tip of the goblin's hat, and each of the house-elf's ears.

Harry presented his wand to be checked by the bored looking security wizard, and then proceeded to the large golden lift that would take them to Arthur's office. They stepped in and waited, Harry looking sideways at a man holding what appeared to be a fire-breathing chicken. Paper aeroplanes zoomed around the top of the lift, and Arthur explained to him that they were interdepartmental memos. Harry was only half listening, he was mostly trying and failing to stamp down the nerves that were threatening to overtake him.

The lift arrived at floor two and they departed, heading to Mr Weasley's office on the other side of the floor. They arrived in the office, and Harry had hardly been sitting down for more than a minute when the door banged open and an elderly man rushed in, clearly out of breath.

"Arthur, thank goodness I found you! The boy's hearing, the time has been changed. It's at 8am now, in courtroom ten!" The old man wheezed out, looking curiously at Harry. Mr Weasley stood up quickly, a look of outrage and panic on his face.

"_What_? They can't do that, can they? Good lord, look at the time, we should have been there five minutes ago!" He yelped, looking at his watch. "Come on Harry, we'll have to run!"

Harry followed him at a sprint, feeling the panic suddenly rise up and take over him. They rushed into the lift, Arthur pushing the button agitatedly until the doors closed and it took them down to the deepest level of the Ministry. They rushed down the final flight of stairs, then ran down the dark, gloomy corridor. Arthur took him to the door that said 'Courtroom Ten' in official letters on the door.

"Here you go Harry, get inside. No, I can't come with you," he said apologetically, and Harry put a trembling hand on the doorknob. With a deep feeling of trepidation, he pushed open the door and walked inside.

His first emotion when he walked into the room was horrified shock. Recognition washed over him and he realised it was this room that he had seen in Dumbledore's Pensieve, he had seen Barty Crouch Jr and Bellatrix Lestrange tried in this room. Gulping, he walked slowly forwards and sat down on the large foreboding chair with chains down the arms. They clanked threateningly but didn't chain him down.

"You're late." Harry looked up and saw the disapproving gaze of Cornelius Fudge, the Minister for Magic, looking down his nose at Harry. There was a strict looking woman wearing a monocle sitting to his left, and on his right was a short stout woman whom he could only describe as looking like an overweight toad. Feeling that his supposed good first impression was currently flying out of the window, Harry felt extremely apprehensive and cleared his throat which was suddenly very dry.

"Er…I didn't know the time had been changed, sorry," Harry managed weakly. The look Fudge gave him told him that he wasn't helping matters.

"That was not the Wizengamot's fault, you were notified in plenty of time. Now that the accused is finally present, we may begin."

Harry didn't like his tone, and he felt that his chances of getting through this with a positive outcome were getting slimmer by the minute. The tall thin room with its dark stone walls and gloomy lighting was making Harry feel rather claustrophobic, and he wished they would just get on with it.

"Disciplinary hearing of the twelfth of August," said Fudge in a ringing voice, and Harry noticed Percy Weasley beginning to take notes in the corner, "into offenses committed under the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery and the International Statute of Secrecy by Harry James Potter, resident at number four, Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey.

"Interrogators: Cornelius Oswald Fudge, Minister of Magic; Amelia Susan Bones, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement; Dolores Jane Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister. Court Scribe, Percy Ignatius Weasley. Witness for the defence…well, that would appear to be no one," said Fudge nastily. "It seems your good pal Dumbledore couldn't even be bothered to turn up to the hearing."

Harry's insides turned numb. Dumbledore was supposed to be his defence, but he wasn't here? If he'd thought that he couldn't feel any worse about this, he was very wrong. It was one thing to ignore Harry all summer, even on the eve of his hearing, but to not turn up at all and practically ensure that Harry was expelled? His stomach twisted painfully and he felt sick. Fudge looked down at him smugly, as if he knew exactly what inner turmoil he had just caused Harry.

Fudge extricated a piece of paper, unfurled it and read, "The charges against the accused are as follows: That he did knowingly, deliberately, and in full awareness of the illegality of his actions, having received a previous written warning from the Ministry of Magic on a similar charge, produce a Patronus Charm in a Muggle-inhabited area, in the presence of a Muggle, on August the second at twenty-three minutes past nine, which constitutes an offense under paragraph C of the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery, 1875, and also under section thirteen of the International Confederation of Wizards' Statute of Secrecy.

"You are Harry James Potter, of number four, Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey?" Fudge said, glaring at Harry over the top of his parchment.

"Yes," Harry said.

"And you conjured a Patronus on the second of August?"

"Yes, but—"

"In full view of a muggle?"

"Yes, but—"

"Knowing that you are not to use magic outside of school until you are seventeen?"

"_Yes_. But it was—"

"Knowing that you were in the presence of a muggle, in a muggle inhabited area?"

"Yes," Harry said angrily, "but I only did it because of the dementors!" He hadn't meant to just shout it out like that, but they were infuriating him by not letting him get a word in edgeways. How was he expected to defend himself if he couldn't talk?

"The dementors? What on earth do you mean, boy?" Asked Madam Bones in shock. She raised her eyebrows so high that her monocle fell out.

"Ah, I knew he'd try something like this," Fudge laughed nastily. "Yes, he always does like to use ridiculous excuses that couldn't possibly be true to get himself out of all the tight spots he's found himself in. It's really quite astounding, the amount of trouble he gets into at school. Not the Golden Boy everyone seems to think you are, eh?" Fudge shot at him, and Harry wanted to sink through the cold stone floor of this room. Surely this wasn't fair?

"There was that time he came up with some cock and bull story about Time Turners and Peter Pettigrew being alive, now that was astounding to hear. Sirius Black, innocent? You'd think the boy was confunded or something but I'm starting to think he's just a really horrible, ill-disciplined boy." Fudge was staring at him directly now, his face a mask of cruel excitement.

Harry's heart had stopped racing now, his nerves were being taken over by pure anger. Fudge had no right to treat him this way, and bringing Sirius into it had just tipped him over the edge. He sat and fumed silently, wishing he could just stride up there and punch Fudge in his stupid pompous face.

"Well, seeing as he doesn't have any witnesses to his defence, and there's clearly no reason to believe a word he says…" Fudge trailed off, looking to either side of him to see if Madam Bones or Umbridge had anything to say. Umbridge smiled in what she probably imagined was a sweet, girly way, but which actually made her look even more grotesque.

"I think you'd covered it all impeccably well, Minister," she said in a high pitched girly voice that made Harry want to retch. "I really can't see any reason to believe what this boy has said."

"Amelia?" Fudge asked the woman on his left. She scrutinised Harry briefly, and almost looked as though she wanted to ask more questions, but it was obvious that Fudge had asked it in a rhetorical way and she merely shook her head.

"Very well. Wizengamot, you may deliberate." Fudge spoke to the group of fifty or so witches and wizards that were seated in the stands, and they all started whispering to each other in hushed voices. Harry looked at his feet, not wanting to know what was happening and yet wanting to know so badly that it hurt.

"Those in favour of clearing the accused of all charges?" Madam Bones called in her loud, authoritative voice. Harry looked up quickly, and wished he hadn't. Not a single hand was raised in the air, and the look on Fudge's face was maliciously victorious.

"Those in favour of expelling the accused from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?" She called, and every hand in the room was raised towards the sky. Harry felt numb, his insides churning so much that he was scared he was going to be sick. A cold sweat had broken out on his forehead, he felt clammy and cold and his heart began to race again. This was it. Fudge banged his gavel down on the desk and shouted out Harry's verdict with a sick grin on his face.

"The accused, Mr Harry James Potter, is hereby expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, effective immediately!"

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Boy do I hate Fudge right now! Hope you liked that chapter, stay tuned for everyone ganging up on Dumbledore next chapter :) please please leave a review! x


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Harry got to his feet and walked towards the door in a daze. His legs moved forwards automatically but his brain felt disengaged, he was still trying to process what had just happened. He was expelled…he was never going back to Hogwarts. It seemed like some sort of nightmare, but he knew he wasn't going to wake up from it. Stepping out of the door, Harry almost collided with Arthur who was standing right outside looking anxious.

"Harry! What happened?" He asked fretfully. Harry tried to answer but he couldn't seem to talk. The look on his face seemed to say it all, however.

"Oh no…they didn't…" Arthur breathed, a pained expression on his face. Just then, the courtroom door banged open and the Wizengamot filed past them, followed by Umbridge, Bones, Percy, and finally the Minister himself with a smug smile on his face. That confirmed Arthur's theory for him and he hesitantly put an arm around Harry's shoulders.

"Look, let's get you back to Grimmauld Place shall we. It…it's going to be okay," he said awkwardly. Harry nodded numbly and followed him towards the stairs. He was on autopilot all the way home, occasionally nodding or shaking his head in response to Arthur's worried questions, but mostly just staring out of the window. He finally started to wake up a bit when he saw Number Twelve up ahead, and he steeled himself for the fact that everyone's pity was going to make him feel a hell of a lot worse.

They walked through the door and into the kitchen where they knew everyone would be waiting for the verdict. Harry clenched his fists reflexively, feeling tense. Walking into the room he saw every face suddenly turn and look questioningly at him. Arthur opened his mouth to tell them the news but Harry beat him to it, suddenly finding his voice again.

"Expelled." He said bluntly, his voice sounding hoarse from how dry his throat had become. He sat down in a chair and looked at the floor, not wanting to see everyone's shocked faces staring back at him. He couldn't block out the sound of everyone's gasps of surprise, however.

He heard mutters of astonishment and anger rippling around the table, and he thought he could hear the muffled sobs of Hermione. His heart sank even further as the realisation set in that he was going to be apart from his friends for the rest of the year, that they'd be learning new magic, playing Quidditch, and having fun without him. Maybe they'd grow closer without him there, forget about him altogether. These unwanted thoughts ran around his brain, despite how ridiculous they sounded. Deep in his thoughts as he was, it surprised him when he felt an arm around his shoulders and heard a whispered voice in his ear.

"Come on Harry, let's get you away from everyone for a moment," he heard the comforting voice of Sirius in his ear and a firm hand pulling him out of the kitchen. Harry didn't resist, he looked up at Sirius and saw that he was looking at him with a concerned expression. If only to stop Sirius looking so sad, Harry summoned up a small smile. He looked around and realised that Sirius had brought him upstairs to Harry's bedroom, no doubt because he wanted him to feel comfortable and at least somewhat at home.

The two of them sat down on the bed and Sirius put his arm around Harry's shoulders. Feeling comforted by the familiar presence of his godfather, Harry cuddled closer to him, putting his own arm around Sirius' waist and resting his head on his chest. For a while they just stayed there, Harry listening to the soothing rhythm of Sirius' heart, and Sirius gently stroking his hand through Harry's hair.

"Do you want to talk about it, Harry?" Sirius whispered after a while. Harry started, he had almost starting dozing off in Sirius' arms. He stayed silent for a moment, trying to work out how to put his feelings into words, but after a while he gave up and just starting talking.

"I just feel so…shocked. I mean, I pretty much knew this was going to happen but it's taking a while to get used to it. I'm never going back to Hogwarts…" his voice broke during that sentence and he took a moment to compose himself. "It's a strange feeling, knowing that I'm never going to be back in that castle again," he said wistfully.

Sirius looked down at him and their eyes met, emerald green meeting silvery grey. The intensity of Sirius' stare dazed him, and he blushed as his stomach have a little flip that he felt was not an entirely appropriate feeling to have when gazing into his godfather's eyes. He was suddenly aware of their close proximity and the fact that he was essentially snuggling with Sirius, and he blushed even more. He pulled himself out of the hug, answering Sirius's questioning look with a hasty excuse.

"Er, I need to talk to Ron and Hermione about…you know, everything. Thanks for staying with me," He said awkwardly, not meeting his godfather's eyes. Sirius' expression cleared and he gave Harry a quick smile.

"Hey, no worries Harry, I understand." He loped out of the door past Harry and headed upstairs, presumably to his own bedroom or to visit Buckbeak in his mother's old room.

Harry walked slowly down the stairs towards the kitchen where he knew Ron and Hermione must still be sitting with everyone else. He sighed as he realised he now had yet another confusing aspect of his life to work out. What on earth was he doing, having these feelings for his godfather? It seemed that literally everything in his life that had the potential to be complicated was taking the opportunity to be complicated. Harry decided that for now he'd have to put this confusing new revelation to the back of his mind because he had more important things to worry about.

Harry poked his head into the kitchen and saw everyone sitting around the table having an uneasy and stilted conversation. They all looked anxious and upset, and Hermione had clearly been crying. He cleared his throat quietly and when everyone turned to look at him, he beckoned his two best friends from the room and walked back upstairs to his bedroom. They followed without a second thought.

Harry plonked onto his bed and looked at Ron and Hermione, silently inviting them to talk. Hermione took one look at him and flung her arms around him, beginning to sob into his shoulder. Harry sighed and awkwardly hugged her back, gently prising her off when she didn't show any sign of letting go. She looked at him, distraught, and then hid her face behind a handkerchief. Assuming that she wouldn't be capable of speech for a while, Harry turned to Ron instead, who gave Harry a bemused and thoroughly disgruntled look.

"Mate…who'd have thought they'd actually do it…" Ron said quietly, sitting down on Harry's bed and absentmindedly patting Hermione on the shoulder. She emerged from the handkerchief and wiped her streaming eyes on it, sniffing and hiccupping as she tried to compose herself.

"Tell me about it," Harry muttered.

"H-Harry," Hermione whispered. "They can't do this, they _can't_, Hogwarts won't feel right without you there!"

It pained Harry to see how upset Hermione was about him not coming back. He knew Ron was probably upset too, but he understood that it was a lot more difficult for him to show his emotions on the outside. Nevertheless, Ron did look distinctly more subdued than normal.

"I guess we'll just have to get used to it," Harry said speculatively. "Although I don't know who you're going to find to play seeker now," he managed a faint grin at Ron who laughed lightly and then looked genuinely depressed.

"Oh god, we're going to lose the Quidditch Cup aren't we?" Ron moaned, hiding his head in his hands. At this point, Hermione finally managed to speak properly, due to her extreme indignation.

"Ron! How can you talk about Quidditch at a time like this?" She asked, scandalised. Harry met Ron's eyes and grinned, they had an unspoken agreement that Hermione just didn't understand how important Quidditch really was.

Thinking about it, Harry suddenly realised that no matter where he stayed this year he wasn't going to be allowed to go outside and fly anywhere, and he immediately sobered up again. It seemed that Fudge had just managed to take away everything he cared about. Hogwarts, his friends, flying. Okay, almost everything. He still had Sirius. This thought made him smile, then blush, and he cursed his stupid hormones.

Luckily at that moment two official looking owls appeared at the window to distract them all. Harry let them in, and they landed next to Ron and Hermione. Immediately recognising the Hogwarts crest on them, Harry realised they must be the usual book lists for the year. Harry sighed, realising that he would never be getting another letter from Hogwarts himself. He looked to Ron and Hermione, only half interested in what books they were going to need this year, but he was jolted out of his self-pity when he noticed that they both had identical looks of shock on their faces.

"What?" He asked.

Wordlessly, Ron held up something small in his hand for Harry to see. He craned closer, and gasped as he saw the small red and gold badge in Ron's hand. Quickly glancing at Hermione he saw that she was holding something reverently in her hand too.

"Prefect…" Ron whispered, astounded. "Prefect? Me?" He looked dumbfounded, and gave Harry the badge to inspect. Harry turned it over in his hand, looking at the tiny lion that was engraved onto the red and gold background.

"Looks legit to me! Well done, mate," Harry grinned at him. With all the drama of the Ministry hearing he'd forgotten that Prefects were going to be chosen this year. If he was going to pick anyone to be Prefect, he knew perfectly well that it would be Hermione. He couldn't help a small traitorous part of his brain wondering whether he would have got Ron's badge if he hadn't been expelled, but he quashed that thought as soon as it surfaced. It was bad enough that he wasn't going to see Ron all summer, he didn't want to taint their friendship further by being bitter.

"Why don't we go downstairs and show everyone? I bet your mum will be over the moon," Harry grinned at Ron. They agreed and followed Harry downstairs to the kitchen. Harry suddenly felt much better about everything now that he had something occupying his mind, even though he was still subconsciously thinking about the fact that Ron and Hermione were soon going to be leaving him to be Prefects together at Hogwarts.

As predicted, Molly was thrilled with the news. She shrieked loudly when Ron told her, and threw her arms around him, bursting into tears. He awkwardly patted her on the back and tried to ignore Fred and George's scornful taunting. It didn't help matters when Molly called him 'Ronniekins' and went into raptures about how proud she was. Ron went bright red and desperately tried to run away to the amusement of his brothers. The atmosphere in the house had livened up since the news, and everyone was chatting happily to each other when the sound of the door slamming shut suddenly made everyone hush. Footsteps came towards the kitchen, and Dumbledore walked wearily down the steps into the room. For a moment, no one spoke.

"Harry," Dumbledore said in a tired voice. "I'm so sorry. Cornelius Fudge changed the time of your hearing and deliberately didn't inform me so that they could proceed with the trial without any doubt over the outcome…" He watched Harry closely, scrutinising him with those piercing blue eyes from behind his half-moon spectacles. Harry wasn't sure what to say, wasn't sure he could trust himself to say anything without shouting abuse at the old man.

"Right." Harry said stiffly, looking at the ground, the walls, anywhere but Dumbledore because he couldn't stand the pitying look that was on his face right now. Dumbledore walked towards him and took a seat at the kitchen table, waving away the offer of tea from a dithering Molly Weasley.

"Now, Harry, as I'm sure you've guessed by now, I need to speak to you about where you'll be living from now on. I of course believe that you will be safest at Privet Drive due to the blood wards, so if you don't mind packing your trunk this evening then we can be off as soon as possible."

Dumbledore looked at him expectantly, as if waiting for Harry to bound upstairs and just pack his belongings as if it was the simplest thing in the world. He looked around and saw that he wasn't the only one that was unaffected by Dumbledore's attempted charm. Sirius' eyes were narrowed, Arthur and Remus both looked disconcerted and Molly was hovering worriedly in the background.

"Professor, I'd really rather I stayed here." Harry spoke clearly and looked directly at the headmaster, knowing that it was immeasurably important that he managed to win this argument and he wasn't going to do it by looking weak. Dumbledore looked appraisingly at him.

"Harry, be sensible now. I know you want to stay with Sirius but I'm just thinking of what's best for you," Dumbledore said gently. He was obviously trying his best to manipulate him but it wasn't going to work.

"If it's so dangerous here that I have to go back to the Dursleys to be properly safe, then how come I've been living here?" Harry asked defiantly.

"I don't deny that it's safe here, Harry, but I still think you'd be better off—"

"I disagree, professor." Harry spoke bluntly now, feeling his temper beginning to rise. "This house has had copious amounts of protective charms put on it by Sirius' family, not to mention the protections cast by the rest of the Order, and the fact that it's under the Fidelius charm so that no one but you can tell anyone where it is. Please tell me how it can be unsafe to live here? If I'm perfectly honest I'd feel much more exposed having to take the journey back to Privet Drive."

Harry was fighting to keep his voice from rising. He glanced at Sirius who smirked at him, clearly thinking that Harry was gaining ground in the argument. Dumbledore looked distinctly put out, but he recovered quickly enough, although the twinkle in his eye was now absent.

"Speaking as someone who has your best interests at heart—" Dumbledore began, but he was cut off mid-sentence by an irate Sirius.

"No offense, Dumbledore, but I think I have slightly more say in this situation than you do. I'm Harry's godfather, and I would very much prefer if it he were to live with me rather than with a pack of abusive muggles!" Sirius almost growled at Dumbledore, and Harry was glad that someone was sticking up for him. Dumbledore at least had the decency to look slightly guilty.

"I know Harry hasn't had the best of times living with the Dursleys, but the enchantments placed upon that house are very strong and it's the best place for him to be." Dumbledore spoke quietly.

"Professor, if I might say something," Harry chimed in. He didn't appreciate being spoken about in the third person when he was sitting right there.

"Go ahead, dear boy," Dumbledore spoke kindly enough but the smile didn't reach his eyes.

"Surely, now that I've been expelled, Voldemort will already know that I'm not going back to Hogwarts. He'll assume that I've been sent back to Privet Drive to stay with the Dursleys, and as far as I know he doesn't even know this place exists. So if it's my safety that's the most important factor here then I think it would make a lot more sense to let Voldemort assume I'm with the Dursleys while I really stay here."

This sounded perfectly logical to Harry, he was secretly very thrilled that he'd managed to think of such an argument to put forward, and he didn't see how Dumbledore could possibly argue his way out of this one. An appreciative murmur ran around the table as other people weighed up what he had said and realised that it made a lot of sense.

"Harry has a very valid point, Albus," Remus said quietly. Until now he had been watching the discussion unfold with a pensive expression on his face, but now it seemed he was siding firmly with Harry and Sirius. "It would be the last thing Voldemort would expect."

Sirius chose this moment to get up and come round to Harry's side of the table so he could stand next to Harry and put a hand on his shoulder. It showed a united front against Dumbledore, and Harry felt a surge of affection for his godfather. Everyone looked at Dumbledore expectantly, and eventually he sighed and spoke.

"Well, it appears that I'm outnumbered. Very well Harry, you may stay here with Sirius for the time being. I daresay you're right about Voldemort, at any rate. On that note, I suppose I should take my leave. Good evening to you all." With a nod of the head, Dumbledore turned on his heel and strode from the room, and they all heard the door slam behind him a moment later. They looked at each other, surprised that for once Dumbledore hadn't got his own way. Harry secretly thought that it served the old man right.

Sirius grinned and picked Harry up bodily, swinging him round in a massive bear hug before setting him back on the ground with a bark-like laugh. Harry playfully shoved him backwards, letting out a laugh of his own. He may be expelled from Hogwarts, but he had finally got what he had always wanted – he was actually, officially going to be living with Sirius. This filled him with a feeling of immense joy and satisfaction, and he was completely caught off guard when a sharp pain suddenly shot through his scar and his stomach churned.

"Ouch!" Harry yelled involuntarily, grabbing his head in pain. He hadn't felt a pain like that in his scar in a long time, not one this intense anyway. He looked up to see Sirius looking at him in panic.

"What is it Harry, what hurts? Is it your scar?" He asked quickly, gently running a hand over the scar on Harry's forehead. His touch soothed Harry's pain, and sent a tingle running through him that made his stomach flip excitedly again. This was getting out of hand, he thought desperately.

"It's fine, it was nothing," Harry reassured him. "It happens all the time now." Sirius didn't look very convinced, but he let it go for now. Harry had other things to worry about anyway, like the fact that despite how hard he tried he couldn't stop thinking about the particular shade of his godfather's eyes and the way his dark fringe flopped over his forehead, nearly brushing the tips of his eyelashes. _I am totally screwed_, Harry thought desperately to himself.

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Phew, there's another chapter for you already! hope you enjoyed it, please drop me a review :) x


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Dread and fear surrounded Harry. Everything was black, so black, he couldn't even see his hand in front of his face. Out of the darkness came a shape, rushing towards him, bringing the feeling of terror with it. Something was badly wrong here, unnatural, twisted and sick. The shape became clearer and Harry saw that it was a ring with a black stone in it, spinning in hypnotising circles, magnified to a hundred times its normal size. As Harry watched it, mesmerised, giant snake leaped through the middle of the ring towards him, fangs bared, screaming in parseltongue about wanting to kill.

Harry woke up with a start to the sound of chaos all around him. Footsteps were stomping up and down the stairs deafeningly, and he could hear Molly shouting at someone about running late. With a sinking feeling he remembered the fact that today was September 1st, and everyone must be getting ready to leave for Hogwarts. With a sigh, he opened his eyes and saw Ron hastily throwing all his last minute belongings into his trunk and attempting to cram the lid shut, before running from the room shouting something about forgetting his socks.

Stretching and yawning widely, Harry climbed out of bed and padded down the stairs, skirting around Crookshanks who seemed to be dodging Hermione's attempts to put him in his cage. He reached the kitchen and flopped down into a chair, observing the chaos grumpily and wishing he could be a part of it all. A moment later, the building was ringing with the sound of Molly yelling at the top of her voice at Fred and George, who had accidentally knocked Ginny down two flights of stairs with their trunks.

Harry sighed and looked around the kitchen, catching the eye of Sirius who was watching him thoughtfully from the doorway.

"Harry, come over here," Sirius called to him and walked out of the kitchen towards the library which was thankfully empty. Harry followed him curiously, wondering what Sirius wanted.

"Here, I have something to give to you," Sirius smiled at him and pulled a hastily wrapped package out of his pocket. Harry took it and opened it quickly, to find a set of two identical hand held mirrors. He look at Sirius, confused.

"Er…thanks."

"They're two way mirrors, Harry. You can have one, and give the other one to Ron and Hermione. When you say one of their names into your mirror, you'll appear in theirs, and they'll be able to talk to you in yours. Me and James used to use them when we were in separate detentions," Sirius grinned at him. Harry didn't know what to say, he was amazed. A way to speak to Ron and Hermione without any information getting hijacked? He grinned and gave Sirius a quick hug.

"Wow! Thanks Sirius! I'd better go find Ron and Hermione before they leave," he said quickly and rushed off to find them. He found Ron attempting to catch Pigwidgeon and get him into his cage, and Hermione was sitting on her trunk having a last minute read of Hogwarts: A History. Harry beckoned them into the dark pantry which was one of the few rooms left with no one else in it.

"Look what Sirius just gave me! They're two way mirrors. If I give you one of them and keep the other, we can talk to each other while you're at Hogwarts and we won't have to worry about owls being intercepted or anything," Harry said enthusiastically. He pushed one mirror into Ron's hands, who turned it over and inspected it with his mouth hanging open.

"Wow, that's really interesting magic!" Hermione said, fascinated, as she stared at the mirror in Ron's hands. "It was really thoughtful of Sirius to give you them," she added quietly with a smile.

"Yeah, it was," Harry smiled happily. He was glad he was going to be able to keep in touch with his best friends, and he hoped this would stop them growing too far apart over the course of the year. They still had Christmas and Easter holidays, Harry reminded himself cheerfully. With a much more optimistic attitude than he'd had earlier, Harry walked to the door and waved off the Weasleys and Hermione, along with Remus, Moody and Tonks who were accompanying them to the train station. Despite Harry not being with them Mad Eye still seemed to think they'd need a guard in case of ambush.

The door swung shut, and the noise of people, owls and cats was cut off immediately as they left the protection of the enchanted house. The silence was almost deafening. Harry turned and saw Sirius standing at the end of the hall, and he was struck by just how handsome he really was. Tall and slim, but well built, defined cheekbones and pale skin complimented by his dark hair which seemed to effortlessly look perfectly styled. His silvery grey eyes were striking, and they were currently looking into Harry's with a roguish glint in them.

Harry suddenly realised that number one, he was checking out his godfather, and number two, he was now completely alone in the house with said godfather. He blushed furiously at that thought and wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. Sirius looked curiously at him, then turned and headed towards the kitchen.

"D'you want any breakfast, Harry?" Sirius called, and Harry came to his senses, following him into the kitchen. He suddenly realised just how hungry he was.

"Yeah, sure," he grinned at his godfather.

"Full English coming up!" Sirius said enthusiastically, and started gathering together pots and pans. It was the happiest Harry had seen him in a while, and he sat watching him cook their breakfast with ill-disguised interest. Sirius was completely absorbed in his work, single-handedly managing to cook sausages, bacon, eggs, tomatoes and mushrooms, and Harry couldn't stop staring. He sighed, trying to pull himself together. Was he going mad? It couldn't possibly be normal for him to be feeling these things, but then when had any aspect of his life been normal, he asked himself wryly.

Harry tried to distract himself by thinking about something different. He pondered what it was going to be like living here all the time, with no chance of going outside and flying, or just being able to enjoy the fresh air. Well, as fresh as the air got in London anyway.

He felt guilty thinking about himself, when Sirius had been cooped up in this place for months before Harry had even got here. Maybe they should sneak out…this idea filled Harry with a feeling of nervous excitement. It was one thing sneaking out of his dormitory at Hogwarts, but would it be pushing it too far to actually sneak out of Grimmauld place? It wouldn't be for long, an hour at most…he vaguely remembered passing a muggle park when he walked to the Underground station on the way to his hearing. With Sirius' animagus form, surely they'd be safe? It wasn't as if any wizards actually lived in this area. Harry was so deep in this thoughts that he didn't notice Sirius putting a full plate of food in front of him until he was poked in the ribs.

"Oi, Harry, wake up! Breakfast time!" Sirius said cheekily, laughing as Harry jumped and then started shovelling food into his mouth. "What were you thinking about?"

"Well…just an idea…I mean, we shouldn't…but it would be so…" Harry struggled to formulate a sentence, and then laughed at the perplexed expression on Sirius' face.

"What on earth are you talking about?" Sirius said with a grin. Harry composed himself and tried again.

"I was just thinking about the fact that you haven't been outside in months. I mean, everyone's gone for now and they won't be back from Kings Cross for a little while…no one would know if we disappeared for a bit…" he tailed off, trying to judge Sirius' reaction. Sirius looked dumbfounded for a moment, then a mischievous grin appeared slowly on his face.

"We'll make a Marauder of you yet, Harry! That's a brilliant idea! But where would we go?"

"I remember seeing a muggle park just round the corner. It's fairly big, plenty of sticks for Snuffles to fetch," Harry said amusedly, "and I doubt any muggles would recognise me. I'd bring my invisibility cloak just in case, anyway." Harry was properly excited now and he pushed away his half eaten breakfast, too worked up to finish it. The prospect of being able to go outside with Sirius, and the fact that they were breaking the rules to do it, was unexpectedly exhilarating. Sirius was up and walking towards the door in seconds.

"Come on then, Harry, what are you waiting for?" Sirius asked eagerly, and Harry couldn't help but smile at how happy he was. He quickly sprinted up the stairs and grabbed his invisibility cloak, arriving back in the hall to find a large, bear like dog waiting for him.

"Walkies!" Harry shouted, and Sirius gave him a look of distain before bounding towards the door and barking loudly, clearly signalling Harry to hurry up. He opened the door and watched Sirius run past him, immediately spotting a pigeon and chasing it unrestrainedly down the road. It felt great to see him so free, and Harry's stomach did it's now familiar little flip.

Harry quickly ran down the steps and followed Sirius down the road at a jog. It was amazing feeling the sun on his face, and he looked around happily at the run-down area of London that would probably have looked really gloomy if he hadn't been cooped up inside for so long. He drew level with Sirius who was busy sniffing the air and investigating everything as if he'd never seen it before, and he scratched his ears absentmindedly. Sirius barked in appreciation and then ran away again, headed into the park that Harry had remembered.

They passed a happy half an hour or so running around and playing with an abandoned Frisbee that Snuffles had found – Harry throwing it as far into the air as he could, and Sirius sprinting and jumping to catch it. After a while Sirius got distracted by something and ran to the far side of the park, disappearing behind some trees. When he didn't immediately reappear, Harry followed him curiously.

"Snuffles! Snuffles? What are you doing?" he called out, following the sound of Sirius' excited barks.

Harry pushed through the trees, noting how pretty they looked with all their blossom falling down in the gentle breeze, and found Sirius back in his human body, standing and taking in the view of a small trickling stream that was running through the park. You wouldn't know it was there unless you walked behind these blossoming trees, as they hid it from view. It was a beautiful little secluded spot, but Harry thought it paled in comparison to the sight of Sirius standing there, a look of pure contentment and delight on his face making him appear years younger and even more handsome than usual. Harry's heart raced and he blushed slightly but this time he didn't mind. It felt right, somehow, and he was too distracted by this beautiful park and the gorgeous man in front of him to care whether it was normal or not.

They sat on the grass next to the river, leaning against a tree, and watched the blossom gently fall to the ground. Harry subconsciously moved closer to Sirius, and his godfather put his arm around Harry, pulling them flush against each other. Harry blushed and rested his head on Sirius' shoulder. Being this close to him, this relaxed with him, felt so wonderful. Turning to Sirius, he giggled slightly and leaned forwards to brush a piece of blossom from his hair. He gently smoothed the hair down where he'd touched it, and trailed his hand down to rest on Sirius' waist. They were so close now, their faces nearly touching. Harry could feel Sirius' breath tickling his cheek, he was being drawn closer and closer by his mesmerizing eyes. He felt as if he could lose himself in them, Sirius' gaze was so intense, he could feel himself blushing but it didn't matter now. If he just moved forwards an inch or two…

A loud screech came from behind the screen of trees they were hidden behind, and Harry jumped violently, pulling away from Sirius and feeling his cheeks blush a darker red. He was suddenly aware of the fact that there were children playing in the park, the screeching and shouting he could hear was a game of football by the sound of it. He awkwardly looked at Sirius' feet, too nervous to see what expression was on his face, and tried to act normal.

"Er, I guess we should be getting back…" he managed to whisper, "the others are probably home by now." He had no idea how much time had passed, he'd forgotten to keep track, but they were almost definitely going to be in a lot of trouble when they got back. Harry was almost thankful for that, because it was giving him something else to focus on. At least, he focused on it for a minute or two before reverting back to his previous panicked thoughts.

_Oh God, oh God, what have I done, I nearly kissed him! I was acting like we were on a date or something, _Harry thought to himself frantically. He felt so ashamed of himself. What on earth would Sirius think of him now? It would be awkward, and strained, Sirius wouldn't want to be near him. It was only the first day of them living together properly and he did something like this?

These depressing thoughts ran round his brain over and over, until one small voice piped up at the back of his mind. _Sirius didn't pull away…he was moving towards you too, maybe he wanted to kiss you…he was the one cuddling you in the first place…_Harry thought about it carefully. It was true, Sirius hadn't exactly pulled away when Harry had moved closer to him. They had been gravitating towards each other, both feeling extremely comfortable with the closeness…but what if he was imagining this?

Harry sighed, frustrated, and turned to see Sirius transforming back into Snuffles for the journey home. They walked back to Grimmauld place, Harry not enjoying the sunshine as much as he had on the way there. After a minute or two they reached the front door and Harry tapped it with his wand, walking in cautiously and quietly in case the others were home already. Sirius followed him in and turned back into himself again, and with the sound of the front door clicking shut came an almighty roar from the kitchen.

"WHERE ON EARTH HAVE YOU TWO BEEN?" Came the furious shout of Molly Weasley as she strode into the hall, "WE WERE OUT OF OUR MINDS WITH WORRY! HARRY, YOU COULD HAVE BEEN TAKEN BY VOLDEMORT FOR ALL WE KNEW! AND SIRIUS," she paused for breath here, glaring at Sirius with what appeared to be pure hatred, "YOU CALL YOURSELF A RESPONSIBLE ADULT? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"

Harry looked up at Sirius, and saw that his face was chalk white. They both stood there, feeling immensely guilty, but at a loss for words. Mrs Weasley continued, slightly quieter this time but her words were full of venom.

"I've a right mind to call Albus in a minute and get him to take you straight to the Dursleys, Harry. This is obviously not a safe place for you to live, Sirius is a bad influence on you," she said coldly. The bottom dropped out of Harry's stomach and he felt petrified with fear.

"No!" he shouted, panicking now, "No, you can't send me back there! Look, it was my idea. I told Sirius we should sneak out," Harry admitted.

"You?" Molly said, surprised, "Oh Harry, I thought you had more sense than that," she continued, the disappointment clear in her voice. "I still think you should go back to the Dursleys. It's obvious that Sirius isn't actually grown-up enough to take care of you." She glared at Sirius again, and Sirius glared back, fists clenched by his side, clearly trying hard not to lash out at her.

"Molly, Harry is my godson and he will live here if I damn well want him to. Dumbledore isn't his guardian, he doesn't have a say in this and neither do you. It was stupid of us to go out, I admit that, and it won't happen again. But if you or Dumbledore or anyone else tries to take Harry away from me, you will live to regret it." Sirius' tone was dark and threatening, and it was clear that he meant every word. Despite the situation they were in at the moment, Sirius' possessiveness of him sent a pleasant jolt of happiness into his stomach and his heart sped up slightly.

"I'm not leaving Sirius here alone. I don't care what anyone says, I refuse to leave and that's all there is to it." Harry bravely said what was on his mind, looking a surprised Molly right in the eyes and trying to put across exactly how stubborn he was going to be on this. Sirius beamed at him and threw an arm round his shoulder, squeezing it slightly as he stared down Molly. After a moment she gave up and sighed exasperatedly.

"Fine, fine, I can see that it's going to be more trouble than it's worth trying to separate the two of you. I'm going to make sure you're not left alone here again, though," she added nastily, looking at them both suspiciously before turning on her heel and stalking back into the kitchen. They looked at each other, relieved that they'd made it out of that tight spot.

"Probably best if we don't try something like that again for a while," Sirius grinned at him. Harry laughed and nodded his agreement, heading upstairs to his bedroom. He needed time to think about things, very important things that involved a particularly gorgeous man that wouldn't get out of his mind. He ran upstairs, slamming his door behind him and flopping down on the bed. Letting out a huge sigh, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to think freely.

The main thing he was feeling was disbelief. This was his _godfather_ he was thinking about. Okay, so they weren't related or anything but still. He was confused about how on earth his feelings for Sirius had changed so dramatically. When had he started seeing him as being attractive? In fact, since when was he attracted to guys anyway? Urgh, he was so confused right now. And what about that very nearly almost kiss? Was he imagining the fact that Sirius had been moving towards him too, was it just wishful thinking? He supposed that if Sirius had noticed anything and been put off by it, he probably wouldn't have argued so forcefully about wanting Harry to stay here with him.

These thoughts continued to plague him throughout the day, and he was unusually quiet at lunch and dinner. Sirius looked concerned, but Harry just told everyone that he was missing Ron and Hermione. They all looked understanding, and left him to this thoughts. Harry trudged back up the stairs after a late dinner, and lay down on his bed again to think.

There was no going back now, Harry realised. He wanted to be close to Sirius, wanted to cuddle him, to kiss him. Thinking it that plainly made him blush, and he couldn't help but imagine it happening…how Sirius' lips would feel on his…Harry's stomach flipped, his heart raced and he almost felt light headed. As he was desperately trying not to think about Sirius, and failing miserably, he suddenly heard what sounded like Ron's voice calling his name. He sat up, confused, and saw Ron's face reflected in his two way mirror. Harry quickly grabbed the mirror and looked into it.

"Ron!"

"There you are Harry! Wow, this thing actually works," Ron said in amazement.

"Apparently so, yeah," Harry grinned back at him.

"Hey, Hermione, come over here! The mirror works!" Ron called over his shoulder, and a second later Harry could see both of his friends looking at him in the mirror.

"How's it going at Hogwarts so far, then? Anything interesting happened?" Harry asked them eagerly. He saw them exchange a dark look, and felt his stomach sink. Surely something bad couldn't have happened already?

"Well, to start with Hagrid isn't here," Hermione began, and Harry could detect the worry in her voice.

"What? But he's always there!" Harry said, confused. "You mean he wasn't at the feast?"

"Not just the feast, Harry. That Grubbly-Plank woman is here instead, she's come back to teach Care of Magical Creatures." Ron sounded worried, and Harry couldn't help but feel the same.

"I hope he's not hurt," Harry said quietly, and the looks on the faces of his best friends reflected his thoughts.

"I hope so too, Harry, I really do. That's not the only thing that's happened, anyway," Hermione said.

"Yeah, we saw our new Defence teacher at the feast and she's horrible. Wore a load of pink, and looked like a toad. Spoke to us like we were all five year olds. She made some speech about…progress being prohibited…or something like that…" Ron tailed off and Hermione took over.

"She said 'progress for progress's sake must be discouraged,' and ''pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited!'" Hermione said indignantly. Harry was thinking about Ron's description of the teacher.

"What was her name?"

"Professor Umbridge," Ron said with a disgruntled look on his face, and Harry gasped.

"What?" Ron and Hermione said together.

"Umbridge was the name of the woman at my Ministry hearing! She was short and fat, and definitely looked like a toad…" Harry said, fuming. How on earth was a Ministry official working at the school? Hermione looked grave at this news.

"Well, it looks like the Ministry is going to be interfering at Hogwarts," she said quietly, and they all looked at each other worriedly. "Oh by the way, Harry, Cho Chang was asking about where you were…I think she definitely likes you," she added with a grin, obviously trying to lighten the mood. Harry had completely forgotten about his feelings for Cho. He thought about her, pictured her face in his mind, but now he felt nothing. He sighed, resigning himself to the fact that it was only Sirius in his thoughts now.

"I don't really like Cho anymore Hermione," Harry said awkwardly.

"You don't? Oh. Is there someone else you like then?" Hermione said eagerly, and Ron looked on with a smug grin on his face, obviously amused at how embarrassed this conversation was making Harry.

"No!" Harry replied, too quickly. He couldn't fight the blush that appeared on his face, and he saw Hermione's eyes widen.

"There is someone, isn't there! Who is it?" Ron asked, laughing at the expression on Harry's face.

"No, there isn't!" Harry said, getting redder by the minute. "Look, I have to go. I said I'd…help Sirius clean the…kitchen…" Harry said lamely, saying the first thing that came into his head. "I'll talk to you later!"

"Fine, Harry, whatever you say," Ron laughed at him, and Harry scowled back.

"Bye, Hermione," he said, trying to preserve what dignity he had left, and he tapped his wand on the mirror to end the call. Harry laid back on his bed, his mind racing with all the information he'd just received. Even though he wasn't there any more he hated the idea of that Umbridge woman interfering at Hogwarts, and he wished he could be there so he could curse her right in her stupid toad-like face. With that satisfying thought, Harry closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

There's the next chapter for you! Stay tuned for something that I'm sure people have been waiting for in the next chapter...;)


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Harry sat at the kitchen table, yawning widely and sipping on a glass of pumpkin juice. He was trying to read the Daily Prophet, but kept staring at the same sentence over and over while he retreated into his thoughts. It was quite early in the morning, Sirius wasn't even out of bed yet. Harry had been woken early by his usual nightmares and he had given up on trying to get back to sleep, so here he was in the kitchen instead.

Drifting off into his thoughts again, Harry mused over the conversation he'd had with Ron and Hermione in the mirror a few days ago. Ron had angrily ranted to Harry about how twisted Umbridge was, and how she wasn't even going to let them use any defensive magic in their lessons. It was ridiculous, and Harry could see how it all tied in to Fudge's ridiculous notion about Dumbledore wanting to overthrow the Ministry of Magic. Maybe he was too scared to even let the students of Hogwarts learn offensive magic in case they used it on him? Whatever was going through his thick mind, it was wrong. Harry worried for Ron and Hermione, and all the other students, especially the ones taking OWLs this year. How would they pass if they weren't allowed to practise the spells that they were learning about?

As if that wasn't bad enough, it seemed that there was a large amount of distrust spreading through the school about whether Voldemort was actually back. Hermione had gently told Harry that Seamus Finnigan's mother had nearly pulled him out of Hogwarts because she didn't believe the so called 'lies' that Harry and Dumbledore were spreading. Seamus, it appeared, agreed with her. He had been arguing with Ron about whether Harry was 'messed up in the head'. Harry got extremely angry at this point and flung the mirror across the room, luckily not breaking it. He apologised to Ron and Hermione and ended the call, spending that night lying awake restlessly and thinking about how unfair this whole situation was. Why on earth would he lie about how Cedric had died? Did they really think he was that desperate for attention that he would pretend to have duelled Voldemort? Harry was infinitely grateful for Ron and Hermione standing up for him, and staying loyal to him.

As Harry sat at the kitchen table, absently staring into space and not noticing the fact that he was dunking his newspaper into his pumpkin juice, his thoughts drifted off into the now familiar direction of Sirius. His mind went back to a few days ago when they had been relaxing in the living room in the evening. Sirius had been stretched out on the sofa, engrossed in a book, and Harry couldn't keep his eyes off him. He had been wearing tight trousers, a button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the top few buttons undone to reveal a tantalising amount of smooth chest. His face was a picture of concentration, a tiny furrow between his brows as he focused on the words he was reading. His eyes looked so deep and intense that Harry badly wished they were focussed on him.

Harry groaned, realising that he had been thinking about it again. This had to stop! Sirius had caught him staring once or twice, and winked at him so suggestively that Harry had nearly died of embarrassment. Why did Sirius have to be so damn gorgeous? Harry asked himself this question several times a day and still had no answer. It wasn't just his looks that Harry was admiring, he had realised. He was noticing little things about Sirius that endeared him to Harry, and made him smile.

There was the fact that he was an incredibly brave man. He had stood up to his parents about their beliefs when he was just a teenager, run away from home and had to fend for himself. Not to mention the bravery and strength of mind he had shown by lasting twelve years in Azkaban without losing his sanity. He may be reckless, but Harry loved his mischievous streak. He had a great sense of humour, and still loved to pull pranks when he got the chance. Exceptionally bright and intelligent, Sirius had got top grades at school and Harry had seen him do some incredible magic. He had been only fifteen when he had managed to turn into his Animagus form which was no mean feat.

All of this blended together into one amazing, attractive man, and Harry was getting worried about just how strong his feelings for Sirius were becoming. He tried to think back to when he had begun to think about Sirius in this way, but it seemed like it had been a slow transition from admiring him as a godfather figure to…whatever this was now. It was bloody confusing, if Harry was perfectly honest, but it just felt so right. He sighed, thinking about how Sirius must feel being in this house. It wasn't just the fact that he wasn't allowed outside, it was the memories that must be tormenting him all the time. His childhood had been an unhappy one, and now he was forced to recall this every day that he was stuck in this place. Harry wished there was something he could do to help.

As Harry was pondering this, the man himself walked into the room and sat down opposite him.

"Morning Harry. Why are you putting your newspaper in your pumpkin juice?" Sirius asked him with an amused voice. Harry looked down and hastily removed it, feeling his cheeks turn red in embarrassment.

"Oops," he laughed it off and stretched, yawning again. "What are we doing today, Snuffles?"

"Actually, I have some news that you might like," Sirius said thoughtfully.

"Oh yeah? What is it?" Harry asked eagerly.

"Well, Dumbledore came by last night when you were in bed and had some interesting things to tell me. To start off, he mentioned that you actually got off very lightly at the Ministry hearing. Turns out Fudge was so enthusiastic about expelling you and proving you wrong, that he forgot the most important part about it."

"Which is what?" Harry asked impatiently.

"Your wand. He was supposed to snap it when you were expelled, because only trained overage wizards are allowed to use magic unless they're in school."

Harry gasped, his face turning white. He suddenly remembered what Hagrid had told him about his own expulsion. The Ministry had snapped his wand in half, stopping him from doing magic.

"So you're saying the Ministry are going to make me give up my wand?" Harry said, terrified.

"No, no, wait! There's more. Dumbledore pointed out the fact that you're living in a house which is protected by the Fidelius charm. It's a pretty powerful piece of magic, and this is where it gets interesting. The Trace, which is the method the Ministry use to detect any underage magic, is a type of tracking spell. And because the basic foundations of the spell are built on tracing a person's whereabouts, the spell doesn't work on someone that is being hidden by the Fidelius charm!" Sirius said triumphantly. Harry gaped at him, his mouth hanging open.

"You mean I can do magic in here and the Ministry won't know about it?" Harry asked excitedly.

"Exactly!"

"Wait, wait. You said Fudge forgot to snap my wand at my hearing, so surely that means he's going to try to find me so that he can do it. I know he can't find me here, but surely I'm going to be in more trouble by evading him? He's not going to just stop searching for me because I'm not at Privet Drive."

"That is an issue…Dumbledore is doing his best to sort it out, but as you know he isn't exactly in favour with the Ministry at the moment. It's looking quite likely that Fudge is going to work out that Dumbledore knows exactly where you are, and they'll try to get it out of him."

"So the only thing standing between the Ministry and me is Dumbledore…that's just great," Harry said moodily. His confidence in the headmaster had reached an all-time low recently, and this didn't seem like great news. However, he figured it was best to focus on the good thing that had come from this. "But still, I can do magic here for the time being!" Harry said excitedly.

"Yeah, which brings me to my second point," Sirius said, smiling at him. "I've been thinking about the fact that you won't be learning any magic if you're not at school. I discussed it with Remus, and he thinks it would be a good idea for the both of us to use our collective knowledge to teach you some stuff that might come in handy."

This sounded amazing to Harry. Learning new magic with Sirius as his teacher? He grinned widely, filling with an excited agitation.

"Wow, that sounds awesome! When can we start? He asked Sirius quickly, earning an amused smile in return.

"Well, I have a list of spells here that we brainstormed earlier. Remus is busy at the moment but we could start after breakfast if you don't mind it being just you and me." Sirius said lightly.

"Of course I don't mind!" Harry said without a second thought. The idea of being taught one on one by Sirius was a very good thought indeed. He blushed, his traitorous thoughts showing him ideas of something else he could do one on one with Sirius…this thought distracted him for the next few minutes and before he knew it they had finished breakfast and Sirius was beckoning him into the drawing room where he thought it would be best to practice spells.

They headed into the room, and Sirius pushed the furniture to the side of the room with a flick of his wand so they'd have space to work with.

"Ok, I have something special for us to work on today…" Sirius said, with a mischievous glint in his eye. Harry listened carefully, intrigued to see what was in store for him. "It's not something that will ever be on the curriculum at Hogwarts, that's for sure…and we'll have to work on boring stuff eventually because Moony will find out and tell us off otherwise, but I was thinking, if you're interested, maybe you could start working on becoming an Animagus!"

Sirius said all of this very quickly, obviously enthusiastic but worried that Harry would say no. On the contrary, Harry was extremely excited. It sounded like complex magic that would take a lot of time and effort to perfect, but he was fascinated by the idea of being able to turn into an animal. He wondered what animal he would be…an image appeared in his mind of him perfecting his Animagus form only to find that he was a slug.

"That sounds great to me, Sirius…" Harry said, smiling at him. "But what if I turn into something ridiculous like a slug or a stick insect or something."

Sirius laughed, and reassured him. "You won't turn into something ridiculous, Harry. The animal you turn into usually reflects your physical appearance, and elements of your personality and characteristics. Why do you think I turn into a dog?"

"You're incredibly loyal," Harry began, smiling hesitantly at Sirius, "and can be playful and excitable. Not to mention your disregard for rules. You're just a disobedient puppy, aren't you?" Harry said teasingly and Sirius gave a bark-like laugh.

"You summed me up pretty well there, Harry," he said affectionately. "Now it's my turn to describe you…" He looked into Harry's eyes searchingly, and Harry blushed at the attention. "Well, to start off you're probably the bravest man I know…" Sirius looked at him intently, sending shivers down his spine, "you're loyal, kind, caring…and not to mention, you've grown up to be an attractive young man…" Sirius finished in a rough whisper.

Harry's heart started racing at twice its normal speed, and goosebumps rose up all over his body. Had he really just heard Sirius say that? He looked up and saw Sirius' eyes staring into his own. Their proximity was so close that he could almost feel electricity shooting between them…Harry felt Sirius' hand reach up and gently stroke the side of his face, almost tenderly, and he closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation. Every sense was heightened, he could hear Sirius' breath drawing almost imperceptibly closer to him. Harry opened his eyes slightly, looking up at Sirius through his lashes, and saw the hungry look in his eyes.

Before he knew what was happening, Sirius' lips were pressing gently on his own. Harry gasped slightly before kissing him back, hesitantly wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling them closer together. It felt incredible, exhilarating…Sirius' lips were soft and dominant, and Harry moaned as he felt his tongue slide sensually along his bottom lip. He opened his mouth and allowed Sirius to dart his tongue in, feeling waves of pleasure radiate through him. Harry responded with equal intensity and revelled in the taste of Sirius' tongue. After a while they pulled away from each other to catch their breath, and Sirius looked at Harry with wide, lust-filled eyes. Seconds later, however, Sirius shook his head and blinked, a look of horror suddenly taking over his face. Staggering backwards slightly, he pulled his arms away from Harry as if burned.

"Oh Merlin, what have I done?" he said in a tortured voice, and he turned and strode from the room, slamming the door behind him.

Harry could only stand there, looking blankly at the space where Sirius had been a minute ago, waiting for his brain to catch up. He had just gone from deliriously happy to confused and hurt within seconds. Sirius had kissed him…but he regretted it. The look on his face had been so angry as he left the room. Harry collapsed onto the floor weakly and put his head in his hands. He tried to stop it, but he couldn't help the tears that started falling. Hours later, that was how a concerned Remus found him, curled up on the floor of the Drawing room with tears still falling steadily down his face.

* * *

Oh God I'm sorry for the ending! Stay tuned for the next chapter, and hopefully it'll all get better :) please review!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Harry?"

A hesitant voice came from the doorway, and Harry recognised it as the voice of Remus. He sat up slowly, wiping the tears from his blotchy face.

"Oh Merlin, Harry, what happened? Why are you crying?" Remus ran over to him, a look of deep concern on his tired face. He gently pulled Harry up to stand, and guided him over to the sofa where they both sat. Remus put an arm around Harry's shoulders and pulled him into a hug, at which point Harry had to try very hard not to start crying again.

"I…I can't talk about it," Harry said quietly, his voice breaking half way through the sentence.

"Is it something to do with Sirius? Did you have an argument or something?" Remus said tentatively. Harry had to fight down a new wave of humiliation and hurt, and the look on his face seemed to say enough. "You can tell me, Harry. I know I've been away a lot since you've been staying here but you have to know that I'm here for you."

Harry gave a watery smile, but he couldn't keep it up and before long he was frowning at the ground again. "I wish I could tell you, Moony, but I really can't. I'm just…upset, and confused, and hurt, and humiliated beyond belief. I just want everything to go back to normal again!" he moaned, hiding his head in his hands. His next words were muffled. "And now Sirius hates me and he probably wants me to just go back to the Dursleys and leave him alone." Saying these thoughts out loud made it seem all the more real, and he looked away before he embarrassed himself by crying again.

"What? Of course he doesn't think that, Harry. No matter what happened between the two of you, there's no way he'd want you to leave," Remus said gently but firmly. He squeezed Harry's shoulder briefly, trying to comfort him as best he could. For this Harry was immensely grateful.

"Why don't you try talking to Sirius about this? Maybe you both just misunderstood each other. I can't imagine any reason why Sirius would be angry at you, Harry," Remus said softly. He sounded curious, and Harry couldn't blame him. This was something he really didn't want to have to explain to him, however. _Oh by the way, I just kissed my godfather, the best friend of my dead dad, this is totally normal right? _Yeah, that would go down well…not.

"This isn't going to get sorted out unless you talk to each other." Remus was starting to sound slightly sterner now. "Either you talk to him, or I'm going to go and ask him to tell me what happened."

"What? No, you can't!" Harry said quickly, blushing. Merlin, he really didn't need anyone else finding out about this, it was embarrassing enough as it was. Remus looked at him curiously, and stood up.

"I'm sorry, Harry, but this has to be sorted out. You can't avoid each other forever, you live in the same house. And before you say anything, no one is going to make you go back to the Dursleys. I'm going to talk to Sirius." He looked sympathetically at Harry, as a last thought conjured him a handkerchief out of thin air with his wand, and strode out of the room. Harry closed his eyes, willing this to just be a horrible dream.

Sighing, Harry trudged up the stairs and went into his bedroom, flopping down on the bed face first. Why did everything have to be so damn complicated? He sat up, getting angry now. It felt more productive to be angry than to be upset. With everything that had happened to him in his life, why couldn't he have just one thing that was good and normal and wholesome? He'd had the chance at having proper family, a godfather that cared about him, and he'd ruined it all by falling for him. Harry punched the wall, hard. Shouting in pain, he looked down and saw it swelling in front of his eyes. Probably broken. The pain gave him something else to focus on, and sent adrenalin rushing through his veins, but it wasn't enough to push out the memories of Sirius. Thankfully he was dragged away from his thoughts a moment later by the voice of one of his best friends coming from his two way mirror.

"Harry?" Hermione called, and Harry thought he might as well answer her. Talking to his friends would be better for him than sitting around moping and punching walls. He was already regretting his actions as deep bruises began to form on his knuckles, and he winced slightly, trying not to flex his fingers.

"Hey Hermione," he said half-heartedly, picking up the mirror and looking into it. Hermione's face turned to shock and worry as she took in Harry's appearance.

"Oh my-! What happened, Harry? Have you been crying? Are you hurt? Ron, get over here! Something's happened to Harry!" She said all of this very quickly, her voice rising in pitch as she panicked. Harry heard Ron running over, and then he joined Hermione in the mirror, looking concerned.

"Calm down, I'm fine," Harry said grumpily, but he wasn't fooling anyone.

"Don't you dare give us that crap!" Hermione said testily. "I can tell when you're upset, Harry, it's painfully obvious!"

"Whatever. Look, I really don't want to talk about it. What's been going on at Hogwarts?" Harry asked, needing something to distract him now. Hermione scowled at him, but she answered his question anyway.

"Much the same, really. Umbridge won't let us do magic in her classes."

"And the evil cow is spreading rumours about you and Dumbledore…" Ron added darkly.

"What?" Harry asked quickly. "What rumours?"

"Well, mostly she's telling everyone that you're lying about Voldemort coming back, and Diggory's death was a tragic accident…" Ron said hesitantly.

"Well that's just great." Harry said irritably. "Any other fantastic news I need to hear?" He knew he was being unreasonably moody but he couldn't really care less at the moment.

"We've noticed that Dumbledore is in school a lot less. Most of the time when we have meals now he's not there, and I never see him walking around the school anymore. It's driving Umbridge crazy, because she wants to know where he's going and she has no authority to stop him doing anything." Hermione said, sounding amused.

"That's strange…" Harry said, his interest piqued, "Dumbledore never usually leaves the school. I wonder what he's up to."

"It could be something to do with the Order. Why don't you ask Sirius about it, Harry?" Ron said thoughtfully. Harry's face dropped, which wasn't missed by Hermione.

"Oh dear, something's happened between you and Sirius hasn't it?" she asked him gently. Harry sighed, wondering why she had to be so astute all the time.

"Kinda, yeah…" he said vaguely.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

Hermione sighed. "Well, I can't make you say anything, but please remember that we're here for you if you change your mind," she said softly. Harry smiled at her and absent-mindedly went to push his hair backwards with his right hand before remembering it was broken. He winced and swiftly moved it out of the way but not before Hermione noticed.

"Harry! What did you do to your hand? Why didn't you say you were hurt?" She asked sternly.

"Er…I think it's broken," Harry said, deliberately not mentioning how. Hermione simply raised an eyebrow at him. "Fine! I got angry and I punched a wall. Happy now?"

"No, of course not! You should go and get someone to fix it. Is anyone home apart from Sirius?"

"I think Moony is around somewhere…" Harry said unenthusiastically. He knew that Remus would be disappointed in him for taking his anger out on himself, and he didn't really want to see him right now after having a massive breakdown in front of him. Sadly, however, he realised it was for the best that he get his hand seen to.

"I guess I should go see if I can find him," Harry sighed, "I'll talk to you guys later. Thanks for…you know…tolerating me," he added awkwardly.

"Remember to call us whenever you need to talk to someone! Goodbye, Harry," Hermione replied.

"Yeah, see you mate. Hope your hand gets better," Ron added. Harry smiled at them and tapped his wand to end the call.

Feeling annoyed at himself for getting so angry, Harry padded down the stairs and went to look for Remus, hoping that he wasn't talking to Sirius still. He was relieved to find him sitting at the kitchen table, although he looked frustrated and tired. Harry approached him tentatively, and sat down on the chair next to him.

Remus looked round at him and gave a strained smile. "Hey, Harry. Are you okay?" He asked, looking as though he already knew the answer.

"I've been better. Actually, I had a bit of an…accident…are you any good at fixing broken bones?" Harry asked timidly. He showed his hand to Remus who looked shocked, and then deeply worried.

"Oh Merlin Harry, what did you do?"

"Erm…I may have kind of punched the wall. I was angry," he added by way of an excuse.

Remus tutted and examined Harry's hand carefully, trying not to move it. "Well, it definitely looks broken. I know a spell that should fix it, you should pay attention because healing spells are useful knowledge to have." He got out his wand and pointed it at Harry's hand, and said "Episkey!"

Harry's hand felt very hot, and then very cold. He watched with interest as the swelling went down and the pain receded, although the bruises still remained. He wiggled his fingers experimentally and they felt a little stiff but otherwise as good as new.

"That's about the best I can do, you'll have to live with the bruises until they go down by themselves." Remus told him with a stern look in his eye. "Look, I don't know what happened between you and Sirius, he won't tell me either, but if I found anything out from talking to him it's that he's angry at himself, not at you. Just keep that in mind. I still think that the only way this will be sorted is by the two of you talking to each other, but that's up to the both of you." Remus looked worried by this fact, he clearly realised that both of them were stubborn people and it was going to take a while to sort out.

"Thanks, Moony. For fixing my hand, and for trying to work things out…I don't think it's going to work though."

"Not if you don't try, Harry," Remus said quietly. Harry didn't know what to say to that, so he stayed quiet. "I have to go out now, I have Order business to do. Will you be okay here?" Harry caught the unasked question 'will you be okay alone with Sirius?'

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Alright, I'll see you soon Harry, take care." Remus smiled at him and stood up stiffly, striding down the hall. A second later Harry heard the click of the door, and he slumped in his seat. What was he going to do now? He couldn't talk to Sirius yet, that was out of the question. He decided to just find a nice interesting book to read and try to distract himself.

* * *

The days went by, and things were just as awkward between Harry and Sirius. Harry was avoiding him at all costs, which was difficult considering neither of them had anywhere else to go. Whenever he accidentally found himself in the same room as his godfather, Harry determinedly looked at the floor so he wouldn't have to see the loathing and anger in Sirius' eyes that he imagined was there.

Other Order members had started to notice that something had happened. Molly cornered him one day and asked him bluntly what Sirius had done to make him so upset. Knowing that she had some sort of grudge against Sirius, Harry was quick to point out that it was his own fault. She didn't look convinced, and a while later Harry could hear a blazing argument happening between Molly and Sirius. Their words were too muffled for Harry to hear, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know what they were saying about him, anyway.

It was clear that Remus was getting more and more frustrated with the two of them. Every day he would patiently ask Harry if he was going to talk to Sirius today, and he would stubbornly say no. It was starting to take its toll on him; Harry couldn't remember the last time he'd been able to eat more than a couple of mouthfuls of food without feeling sick to the stomach. He often just sat in his room for hours, lost in his thoughts, trying not to think about Snuffles but inevitably doing it anyway. Ron and Hermione had tried to call him a few times but he'd just ignored them.

After about a week of stubborn silence, Harry was starting to realise that he really did need to just talk to Sirius about this. He was much thinner than he had been before, having lost a lot of weight after just ceasing to eat for a week. He was tired all the time, and he felt completely emotionally drained. He couldn't stop thinking about Sirius, about the kiss. Oh, the kiss…it had felt so perfect, and he was so sure that Sirius had enjoyed it too. If he could just convince him to focus on that…gritting his teeth, Harry stood up and walked towards the door. It was best to just do it, before he chickened out of it.

Harry walked up the stairs to the next floor where Sirius' bedroom was. The door was open, and Harry glanced in but saw no one in there. That meant he must be in his mother's old room with Buckbeak. Harry turned to that door and saw that it was closed, so he gently knocked on it.

"Who is it?" Came Sirius' gruff voice, sounding miserable. Harry felt a pang in his heart, and vowed to get this sorted out.

"It's…it's me," Harry said, trying to keep his voice steady. There was no reply, but Harry decided to just throw caution to the wind and go in there anyway. He walked in and saw his godfather sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. Buckbeak was laying down next to him, and Sirius was absently stroking his feathers. Harry allowed himself to look at Sirius properly for the first time in a week, and he almost lost all his courage. He looked defeated. He was pale, thin, and almost regaining the look he'd had when he'd escaped from Azkaban. Despite all of this, Harry couldn't help but note how attractive he looked…as Harry was observing him, he looked up and their eyes met. Sirius' eyes were perhaps even more beautiful than Harry had remembered, and Harry flinched at the anger in them.

"Snuffles…" he said tentatively, inching towards him. Sirius didn't answer. Now that he was here, Harry was unsure of what to say. He closed his eyes and tried to bring his feelings to the surface. It wasn't easy, talking about how he felt, but if it was going to help make this right then he was going to have to do it.

"We really need to talk about what happened. We can't go on avoiding each other forever," he said bluntly. Sirius raised an eyebrow at him but still didn't speak. Harry's nerves almost got the better of him, but he took a deep breath and soldiered on.

"The fact of the matter is, we…we kissed," Harry's nearly gave out but he carried on, "we clearly both enjoyed it," Harry blushed, "and I really wish you didn't hate me for it…" he trailed off, and looked up from the floor to see Sirius looking conflicted.

"I don't hate you, Harry," he said roughly. "I hate myself for kissing you in the first place. It was a stupid thing to do." Harry flinched.

"It wasn't stupid. I liked it, and you can't pretend that you didn't too."

"It's not about whether we enjoyed it, Harry. You're 15 years old, you're my_ godson_ for Merlin's sake." Sirius closed his eyes in frustration.

"I don't care!" Harry replied stubbornly.

"Well I do!"

"Well excuse me for wanting something good to actually happen in my life for once!" Harry raised his voice unintentionally, he hadn't wanted this to become an argument. Sirius looked slightly guilty for a moment, but Harry ignored him and carried on, "age is just a number, Sirius! Is this about what everyone else would think? I thought you didn't care about what anyone thought of you?"

"It's not that easy…" Sirius said quietly.

"You're a reckless man, Sirius, and a brave man. You usually listen to what your heart says. You're loyal, and you're kind. Why can't you follow your feelings?" Harry leaned forwards and hesitantly put his hand on Sirius' arm, but he tensed and pulled away.

"I'm sorry Harry, but it just won't work between us," he said stiffly, not meeting Harry's eyes. "I'd appreciate it if you left me alone."

Harry felt as if Sirius had slapped him. He stepped backwards, willing himself not to cry, trying to find even a shred of regret in Sirius' face but he had closed his eyes and shut himself off from the world. Harry turned and left the room, slamming the door behind him. He felt numb. Running down the stairs, he went to his room and sat on the bed, staring into space, thoughts spreading through his mind like wildfire. What felt like hours later, he stood up stiffly and opened his trunk, throwing everything into it that he could find. If Sirius didn't want him here, didn't want to accept the fact that their relationship had changed, then he couldn't stay here.

Harry walked resolutely down the stairs, dragging his trunk behind him. It banged on every step, and he heard footsteps coming down the stairs but he ignored them and carried on. Eventually he got to the front door, and he heard a gasp and the footsteps gathering speed as his godfather ran towards him.

"Harry, what are you doing?" he asked quickly, a look of confusion on his handsome face.

"I'm leaving. If you don't want me then I can't stay, it'll drive both of us mad."

"You can't just leave, where exactly do you think you can go?"

Harry paused for a moment, wishing there was somewhere else, anywhere else but he knew there wasn't. "I'm going back to the Dursleys. They may hate me but it'll be less painful than this…"

Sirius looked pained. "Don't leave," he said in a voice so quiet it was almost a whisper. Harry felt a flutter in his stomach.

"Don't make this any more difficult than it already is."

"Please Harry…I don't want you to leave."

Harry closed his eyes and prayed to Merlin to give him strength. "Sirius, either you want me or you don't. I'll stay on one condition…"

"What?" Sirius asked impatiently.

Harry took a deep breath. "Kiss me, and I'll stay…"

Sirius looked conflicted. He looked at the floor and clenched his fists, breathing heavily. When he looked up at Harry there was something in his eyes that he couldn't place. Carefully and deliberately, Sirius walked towards him, the expression on his face hard and unreadable. Harry gulped.

* * *

What can I say, I love cliffhangers! Don't hate me too much, next chapter will be fluffy instead of angsty :) please please review! x


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Harry stared at Sirius, holding his breath, adrenalin pumping through his veins. His heart raced as Sirius walked closer to him, a hard blazing look in his eyes. He was very close now, they were almost touching. Up close the fire in his eyes lit them up and they took Harry's breath away.

Sirius quickly closed the gap between them and pushed Harry roughly against the wall, pressing their lips together eagerly. This was nothing like their first tender kiss, this was passionate, rough, full of pent up feelings. Sirius pressed his body close to Harry's, and Harry threw his arms around Sirius' neck, burying a hand in his thick hair. He felt Sirius lightly bite his lip and he gasped, allowing him to dart his tongue out at lick it better, before gently teasing Harry's tongue with quick and sensual licks.

They pulled apart after a while, and Sirius gently pressed their foreheads together as he breathed heavily, pulling Harry into a tight hug. He pulled back and looked into Harry's eyes, a soft smile appearing on his face. Harry smiled back, a single happy tear falling from his eye as he processed the importance of what had just happened. It was like there had been a massive shift in his life, everything was changing now. He wasn't at Hogwarts anymore, Voldemort was back in power and now his relationship with Sirius had changed.

"We need to talk about this," Sirius whispered softly in Harry's ear. Seeing the look of trepidation on Harry's face, he quickly continued, "Don't worry. I'm not going to get angry or anything. Even I can see that there's no going back now."

Harry nodded and Sirius pulled away from him, walking towards the kitchen. Harry suddenly realised that they were in the headquarters where anyone could have just walked in on then. He gulped, vowing to be more careful from now on. He was lucky that Remus was out at the moment, and that Molly hadn't followed up on her threat to make sure they weren't left home alone together anymore. Molly herself had been spending a lot of time at the Burrow recently, for which Harry was very grateful.

They sat down at the table, the atmosphere feeling almost awkward for a moment. How do you have a conversation about being in a relationship with your godfather? Harry hesitantly placed a hand on top of Sirius', and they smiled at each other tentatively.

"So…" Sirius said, smirking at Harry.

"Well. This is…different…" Harry replied, laughing.

"Harry," Sirius said gently, being serious now, "I'm not going to pretend that this isn't strange for me…it probably is for you too. But you threatening to leave gave me the kick that I needed to make me realise that I need you." Harry smiled at this. "And I guess I can't deny that I find you incredibly attractive…" Sirius tailed off, giving Harry a stare so intense that he felt like he was melting. He felt butterflies in his stomach and he blushed, looking at the floor.

"I really want to make this work, Sirius…I'm just relieved that you came to your senses," he teased. "If we feel this strongly for each other, then who are we to deny our feelings?"

Sirius nodded his agreement, putting an arm around Harry and pulling him into an affectionate hug. Harry grinned, feeling the happiest he could remember being for a long time. He sighed contentedly, relaxing into the comfort of Sirius' embrace.

Turning to look at him properly, Harry asked the important question. "Do you want to tell anyone about this?" He bit his lip anxiously. It was highly unlikely that anyone else would understand the relationship between them, and he blanched at the thought of what Molly's reaction would be if she found out.

"That's a difficult one, Harry. You understand that it won't exactly get the best reaction from anyone else?"

"Yeah, I understand. I just don't want to have to lie about it," Harry said.

"Well how about we just don't tell anyone? It's our business, not theirs. If someone asks outright then we'll tell them but otherwise we'll keep it to ourselves."

Harry nodded, agreeing that it sounded like a reasonable idea. "What about Ron and Hermione? I don't think I'm ready yet, but would you be okay with me telling them eventually?" He really didn't want to keep things from them.

"Of course you can, Harry, they're your best friends. If anyone's going to trust in your decision then it's them. And can I tell Remus?" Sirius asked.

"Okay," Harry said hesitantly, "although he's a lot more likely to overact to it. He was friends with my dad, after all," he pointed out. He immediately regretted saying it, as he knew it would probably touch a nerve with Sirius.

Sirius closed his eyes briefly and looked troubled, but he shook it off and smiled at Harry. "If I can get over that, then Remus can damn well get over it too."

Harry grinned widely, feeling a new wave of fondness for Sirius. He ruffled the older man's hair affectionately, earning himself a gorgeous trademark smile from him. Sirius leaned in to give Harry an unexpected kiss on the lips.

"I'm going to have a hard time keeping my hands off of you, Harry," he said gruffly. Harry's breath hitched in his throat and he looked shyly up at Sirius, both excited and nervous at this. Sirius clearly noticed this, and looked at him curiously. "You don't have much experience in this, do you?" he said gently.

"Er…no experience at all, actually," Harry admitted awkwardly.

"None?" Sirius looked shocked. "Not even with a girl?"

"Nope. I had other things to think about at school generally. Y'know, Voldemort being on the back of my teacher's head, a Basilisk being loose in the school and attacking students, my long lost godfather breaking out of prison to commit the murder he was imprisoned for, not to mention being entered into the Triwizard Tournament at the age of fourteen…" Harry tailed off and looked at the unreadable expression on Sirius' face.

"You make a good point. Dating opportunities weren't exactly your main priority…" Sirius smiled at him but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He sighed, looking worried again. "You're so young, Harry…"

Harry scowled at him. "It doesn't matter how old I am. I've been through more shit than half the members of the Order combined. You were arguing with Molly the other day about how I'm not a child anymore, well maybe you should listen to yourself more often." Harry tried to keep his voice even but the subject of age was a tender one for him.

"Look, I'm sorry Harry. This is going to take some getting used to, and I'm almost definitely going to make mistakes. I didn't mean to make you feel bad," he said gently, pulling Harry closer into a hug.

"It's ok. I'm sure I'll mess up as well, we're both only human after all. Well, one of us is also a bit of a dog," he laughed, and Sirius snorted, an evil glint appearing in his eye.

"Oi! You'll live to regret that…" he moved one of his hands from Harry's back to his ribs, and Harry tried to run away as he knew what was coming. He was too slow however, and he screamed in laughter and Sirius started tickling him. Sirius picked him up and dropped him to the ground, straddling him and pinning his hands above his head so he couldn't push him off. That was the last thing on his mind now, however, as he was rather enjoying the feeling of the older man's body pressing into his own. Sirius seemed to come to the same conclusion, and the laughter in his eyes turned to a look of desire.

Harry bit his lip, wishing he could touch Sirius, but he still had his hands pinned above his head. He squirmed slightly, trying to pull his arms away and Sirius let go. Harry moved his hands down Sirius' body, enjoying the feeling of his defined muscles. Sirius moaned and captured Harry's mouth in a searing kiss. They didn't move from their position on the floor for some time, pausing for breath every now and then but neither of them wanting to stop kissing each other. Suddenly, however, they heard the front door slam shut and they shot away from each other quicker than Harry could have believed possible. About a second later they were sitting at the kitchen table, trying to look as normal as possible, when Remus walked into the room. He looked at them suspiciously, taking in their flustered appearance.

"Are you alright, guys?" he asked curiously.

"Yeah," they both replied breathlessly, laughing at each other nervously. Remus looked surprised but happy.

"You're talking to each other again, then?"

"We worked out our differences," Harry smiled, speaking to Remus but not looking away from Sirius. Sirius winked at him, and Harry couldn't help but blush and look away. Remus looked at them suspiciously again, but decided not to ask them anything in case he upset the balance that had finally been restored.

* * *

Harry was filled with a bubble of happiness that day that he couldn't shake off, and didn't want to. With a permanent smile on his face, he decided it would be a good idea to call Ron and Hermione and apologise for ignoring them for the last week, and for being so moody the last time they'd spoken. He picked up the two way mirror and called Ron's name. After a few seconds his friend's face appeared in the mirror, looking concerned.

"Harry, finally! We've been trying to contact you for the last week, what the hell happened?" Ron sounded relieved, but also slightly annoyed. Harry felt that he deserved it.

"I'm really sorry about that, mate. I had an…argument of sorts with Sirius, and we weren't speaking to each other and I was pretty depressed. But it's all sorted now!" Harry had tried to look guilty as he was talking to Ron but he couldn't help the smile coming back onto his face. Ron looked at him strangely.

"Fair enough…I'm just gonna get Hermione. Oi, Hermione, get over here!" He yelled over his shoulder, and he was joined a second later by a disgruntled Hermione.

"Ron, don't speak to me like that! What do you want, anyway? Oh!" She exclaimed, noticing the mirror that Ron was holding. "Harry! Are you okay? What happened?"

Harry smiled at her. "I'm fine Hermione! How are you on this fine day?" She looked shocked, and exchanged a look with Ron, who shrugged at her.

"He said he's talking to Sirius again," Ron said to her.

"Well, that's good news!" Hermione said, recovering from the surprise. "I don't suppose you're going to tell us what happened in the first place to make you punch a wall and ignore your best friends for a week?" A stern look had appeared on her face.

"No, I'm not going to tell you. Not yet anyway…I'm just not ready." He blushed slightly and looked away from the mirror. The idea of telling his friends made him extremely nervous, and there was no way he was doing that yet. He saw Ron looking mildly irritated and Hermione looking highly suspicious. He felt it was time for a quick subject change.

"Anyway! What's been happening at Hogwarts?"

"Well, seeing it's OWLs year we've been getting ridiculous amounts of homework," Ron grumbled.

"We've been through this, Ron, its necessary if we want to pass our exams!" Hermione said testily, "anyway, the only reason you're so behind is because you keep flying every evening."

"You've been flying?" Harry asked eagerly. "Are you trying out for the team? Are they picking someone to be Seeker too? I hope it's someone good!" Harry enthused, he had forgotten about the fact that they'd need two new players this year. Oliver Wood had now left, and Harry of course had also left the team so they were in need of a Keeper and Seeker. Hermione huffed, she obviously wasn't interested in discussing Quidditch.

"Yeah, I thought I might try out for Keeper," Ron said awkwardly. "I mean, I'm not that good but it's worth a try right?"

"You're a good flier, you'll be fine!" Harry assured him, "have faith in yourself! They'd be mad not to pick you."

"Thanks mate," Ron said with a grin.

"Do you know who's going to try out for Seeker?" Harry asked curiously. It would be interesting to see who replaced him.

"I dunno yet, although Ginny's been flying a lot recently too. It wouldn't surprise me if she tried out for Seeker."

Harry was about to reply when he was interrupted by Hermione. "Look, I think we should be discussing more important things!" She looked exasperatedly at Ron who didn't seem to understand. "You know, things Harry could actually help us with, things that people in the Order will know about!"

"Oh right, yeah!" Ron said.

"Hagrid still isn't back," Hermione told Harry grimly. It was obvious they were becoming quite worried about him. "We thought maybe you could ask Sirius about it, see if he'll tell you what he was supposed to be off doing this summer."

"Hmm, it's definitely odd that he's not back yet. I'll ask Sirius, hopefully he'll tell me." Harry was concerned for their half-giant friend. He had a knack for thinking dangerous creatures were cute and cuddly, and it had got him into trouble a few times. "I really hope he's not hurt…"

"We hope so too Harry, we really do. There was something else we were going to mention actually," Hermione said.

"Yeah, Dumbledore is still away from the school most of the time. He looks tired whenever we do see him." Ron looked thoughtful.

"We were thinking maybe Sirius might know something about that too? Of course it might not be anything to do with the Order but it seems the most likely option," Hermione continued.

"Okay, I'll ask Snuffles about that too. I wonder what Dumbledore's up to? Maybe it's something to do with that weapon Sirius was talking about when I first came to Grimmauld Place," Harry speculated.

"Yeah, maybe! What if You-Know-Who has it now and Dumbledore's trying to steal it back?" Ron said wildly.

"I really don't think that's likely, Ronald. Harry would probably have noticed if something that major had happened, even if no one mentioned it." Hermione sounded unconvinced.

"Fine, whatever," Ron said grumpily, not happy at having his idea discounted.

"Look, I should go guys, it's nearly dinner time," Harry grinned at them.

"Alright Harry! Well, I hope everything keeps going okay with Sirius," Hermione said, watching him carefully.

"Thanks, Mione. See you!" Harry ended the call and wandered down to the kitchen. The smell of cooking food hit his nose, and he sniffed appreciatively. Sirius was standing in front of the oven with his back to Harry, so he crept into the kitchen and put his arms around Sirius' waist from behind, hugging him tightly.

"Hey, Padfoot," Harry said brightly. Sirius turned and looked at him over his shoulder, giving him a wide smile.

"Hey Harry! Want some dinner?"

"Course I do," Harry grinned at him, reluctantly letting him go and sitting at the table. A few minutes later Remus had joined them and they sat down to eat generous portions of steak and homemade fries. As they ate, Harry's mind drifted to its usual subject; Sirius. He remembered what he'd been thinking the other day about this place being full of bad memories for his godfather. He had an idea in his mind…he waited patiently for everyone to finish their dinner, then hinted that he wanted to talk to Sirius alone. Remus gave them a suspicious look, but left them anyway.

"What did you want to talk about, Harry?" Sirius asked him curiously.

"I had an idea…I mean, feel free to tell me if it sounds stupid…" Harry said self-consciously, already starting to doubt himself.

"I'm sure it's not stupid! Tell me," Sirius badgered him, an eager grin on his face.

"Okay, well. I know you hate living in this place, because it brings back horrible memories of your childhood…" Harry began, trying to judge Sirius' expression. His face visibly darkened, but he didn't speak. "I thought it might be a cool idea for the two of us to redecorate the house together…if we got rid of all the dark gloomy furniture and painted the walls and stuff, it would feel like a completely different house! And then we could build our own memories here instead…" Harry trailed off, hoping that Sirius didn't think it was a stupid idea.

"Harry…" Sirius said hoarsely, his voice almost breaking, "that's… I mean…Merlin, that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me," he said softly with a smile appearing on his face. Harry threw his arms around Sirius and hugged him tightly, his throat feeling suddenly tight with emotion. "But don't tell anyone I said that, okay?" he added with a grin, "Moony wouldn't let me hear the end of it if he knew I was talking about my actual feelings, out loud."

Harry laughed and squeezed him tighter, then pulled back so he could see his face. He loved seeing Sirius laugh, knowing that it was him that made him happy.

"Maybe we should start on that tomorrow. I have a plan for us this evening, if you're interested."

"What is it?" Harry asked eagerly.

"Well, seeing as we got kind of distracted last time I started telling you about Animagi, I thought maybe we could start on it properly tonight. What do you think?"

Harry felt his excitement rise, he'd forgotten in all the drama that he'd had that discussion with Sirius. "That sounds great! Can we start right now?" Harry asked him enthusiastically.

Sirius laughed and stood up, offering Harry a hand. He pulled Harry up and starting walking towards the Drawing Room, still holding Harry's hand. "No time like the present!" he announced, strolling into the room and taking out his wand. As before, he banished all the furniture to the side of the room, except the sofa, which they sat on so Sirius could talk him through the basics.

"I doubt we'll actually need this space tonight, because you're only just beginning, but when you start trying to access your other form, we're going to need it. You could turn into something small, like a cat, or you could end up being something huge like a horse. It's always good to be sure," Sirius began. Harry was nervous, it sounded like it was going to be a very long and difficult process and he really didn't want Sirius to get frustrated at him if he was too slow. Sirius, as always, seemed to know what he was thinking.

"Don't worry, you won't be slow at it. You've already shown incredible strength of mind by being able to cast a Patronus at your age, plus being able to throw off the Imperius curse! You'll be fine," he smiled. Harry felt a warmth in his chest when Sirius complimented him.

"Okay, I believe you. So what's the first step? Do I have to read up on stuff first?"

"That can wait, you can do it during the week. Maybe we should have these lessons once a week? Then the rest of the time Moony can teach you all the boring things, and I'll help too."

"Sounds good to me!" Harry said.

"The first thing you need to do is to empty your mind. It's a basic principle of Animagus transformations, and it's necessary when you're trying to find your other form for the first time."

"Okay…so how do I empty my mind?"

"It's harder than it sounds. Lay back, and close your eyes." Harry did as he was told, getting comfortable on the sofa and closing his eyes. "Now, try not to think about anything at all."

Harry tried to banish everything from his mind. His brain was teaming with thoughts, however, thoughts about Sirius, nerves about trying to find his Animagus form, and random phrases like 'am I doing this right?' and 'damn it, stop thinking things' kept popping up in his mind. He heard Sirius' amused voice coming from next to him.

"It's sometimes easier if you try to just think about darkness. Imagine you're in a completely black room, there's nothing around you, let it take over your mind. Feel the emptiness," Sirius whispered.

After he'd gotten over how sexy Sirius sounded when he whispered in that deep voice, Harry tried out this technique. He felt the blackness encompass his mind, and strangely enough it actually started to work. Concentrating on the darkness made his other thoughts take a back seat and after a while he almost thought he was going to fall asleep. He was jolted back into reality by Sirius' voice coming at him through the fog of darkness surrounding his mind.

"That's really good Harry, I think you're getting the hang of it! You need to practice emptying your mind as much as possible, so that you can do it quicker and easier each time you try. When you have that sorted, you can start trying to connect with your magic and feeling the animal inside you trying to break out."

Harry listened excitedly, already eager to find out what his form would be. He knew however that it would probably be a long time before he reached that point.

"How soon do you think I'll be able to start that step?" Harry asked.

"Well, it depends how quickly you manage to read up on the theory, and how much you manage to practice. When I see how you're progressing next week, it'll be easier to put a time frame on it."

Harry was engrossed in what Sirius was saying. This all sounded fascinating to him. Not to mention, Sirius was very sexy when he was in teacher mode. Harry stifled a yawn. It was much later in the evening than he'd realised. How long had he been sitting there with an empty mind? Maybe he really had fallen asleep. Sirius didn't miss the yawn, and he stretched and yawned himself.

"Well, I don't know about you but it's been a bloody long day and I'm tired," Sirius said, standing up stiffly.

"Yeah, I'm knackered," Harry agreed, and they strode up the stairs together. When they reached Harry's floor, they stopped outside his bedroom.

"Well, goodnight Harry. I'll see you in the morning," Sirius smiled at him. He leaned forwards and captured Harry's lips in a breath-taking kiss goodnight. Harry gasped and smiled.

"Night, Sirius." He watched his godfather climb the stairs to the next floor, definitely _not _checking out his arse, then retired into his room for the night.

* * *

Here's the next chapter for you! I really hope you enjoyed it and it wasn't way too fluffy (let's face it, it totally was!)


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Harry sat at the kitchen table with Remus and Sirius, clearing away the remains of his dinner and pulling out his books. It had been a few days since his first proper kiss with Sirius, the pivotal moment in their relationship. Neither of them had tried to define what their relationship was now, but they were both happy to ignore that fact for the moment. It was nice just to enjoy each other's company and be physically close to each other, as this was something that both Harry and Sirius desperately needed in their lives. Harry couldn't word exactly how he felt, but he knew he was comfortable and contented, and the happiest he had ever felt in his life.

Besides his changing relationship with Sirius, Harry had also been thinking a lot about his Animagus training. He was fascinated by it already, and after his first lesson with Sirius he had begun reading up on the theory of the transfiguration. It seemed complex, but he was determined to wrap his mind around it so he could prove himself to Sirius, and show that he was strong and powerful. He knew perfectly well that Sirius didn't expect him to master it overnight, but he couldn't help the thirst he felt to prove his abilities.

Alongside his Animagus training, Harry had got round to ordering the school books he would have needed for Hogwarts. Today they had arrived, and he was now obligated to start learning some of the spells that he should have been learning at school. He really hoped that he would manage to find History of Magic a hell of a lot more interesting than Professor Binns had made it seem. Defence was the subject Harry was most looking forward to, especially considering he wouldn't have been learning any Defensive magic if he was at Hogwarts at the moment. With the return of Voldemort looming over them and the Order frequently holding serious meetings at the Headquarters, it seemed more and more important to learn to defend himself properly.

"Okay, Harry, are you ready to start?" Remus asked him seriously. Harry could tell that he meant business with this tutoring.

"Yeah, I'm ready," Harry said, placing all of his books on the table, "what subject are we starting with?"

"Well, Minerva informed me that she's beginning to teach the fifth years the Vanishing spell, so I thought we might try that today." Remus pulled out a small white mouse from his pocket and placed it on the table, where it immediately tried to run away. Harry quickly grabbed it and held it in his hand, secretly thinking it was quite cute. He heard a small noise of dissent from the doorway and smiled as he saw Sirius walking in.

"Vanishing? You couldn't have picked something more interesting, Moony?" Sirius said as he sat down at the table next to Harry.

"You know perfectly well that Harry has to learn everything that he would have learnt at Hogwarts. Just because you're lazy, it doesn't mean you should let it rub off on Harry." Remus gave Sirius an amused look, which Sirius ignored in favour of nudging Harry and winking at him. Harry blushed and looked determinedly at the table so that he wouldn't give anything away.

"Anyway," Remus went on, "the Vanishing spell is a difficult one which gets more complicated on bigger animals. Professor McGonagall is planning on starting with snails, but I think you'll be fine starting with a mouse. It's a lot easier when you have one on one tutoring to get the hang of the spell."

Harry listened carefully, absent-mindedly stroking the mouse that he was holding in his hand.

"The incantation is Evanesco. Make sure you concentrate extremely hard on the vanishing of the object, this is not a spell you can accomplish if you're thinking about your dinner." Harry saw Sirius roll his eyes at the tone Remus was using, and he grinned but looked away. He couldn't afford to get distracted by him at the moment. Pulling out his wand, Harry pointed it at the mouse and cleared his throat nervously.

"Evanesco!" Harry looked hopefully at the mouse but of course nothing had happened. He frowned and tried again, concentrating as much as possible on the spell. "_Evanesco_!" The mouse looked back at him, determinedly still there in his hand. He glanced at Remus and Sirius, embarrassed at his lack of skill.

"Hey, don't expect to do it first time," Sirius smiled at him. "Try waving your wand a little more, and tap the mouse gently as you say the incantation." Sirius placed his hand on top of Harry's and showed him the wand movement. Harry smiled at him gratefully and tried again, determined to master the spell.

"Evanesco!" He said forcefully, concentrating as hard as he could and waving his wand like Sirius had shown him. The mouse squeaked loudly as its tail suddenly disappeared. "Ooh, look at that!" Harry said excitedly, looking proudly up at Sirius, who grinned at him in return.

"Nice one Harry! You're getting the hang of it already!" Sirius complimented him and Harry positively glowed. After about an hour of trying, with varying results, Harry finally managed to completely Vanish the mouse. It was almost a shame, as he was starting to like the cute little rodent, but he was immensely proud of himself for mastering the spell properly. As Harry was relaxing for a moment, a thought crossed his mind.

"Remus, how often do you think you'll be able to teach me? I've noticed you're away doing things for the Order quite often…" Harry said, trying subtly to find out where Remus was going, because he was extremely curious.

"Well, I can't say for sure Harry. I'm sure Sirius will be more than happy to help you out when I'm not here," Remus replied vaguely, although he looked slightly unconvinced. Sirius narrowed his eyes at him.

"Where is it that you go?" Harry asked bluntly, giving up on the subtle approach.

"I can't tell you that," Remus said stiffly. "You said you wanted to teach him something more interesting, Sirius? Go right ahead," he continued, obviously trying to deflect attention from himself. Harry let it go for now, but he really wanted to know what was going on. It was frustrating, living here and seeing all the Order members coming in and out, and not having any idea of what they were discussing. He felt like he had no input or information on what Voldemort was up to, and it seemed unfair.

"Yeah, I have a great idea of something to show you!" Sirius said enthusiastically, and Harry couldn't help but smile at him and get drawn in. It was impossible not to be enthused when Sirius was excited about something. "It's a type of shield, but it's more powerful and more useful in battle that the normal Protego."

"That sounds fascinating!" Harry said, his mouth hanging open. He had really been looking forward to Defence, and now he was going to learn something that could be really useful!

"It's a great spell to have in your arsenal, especially in a duel. You can cast it non-verbally, and it forms an invisible shield around you which stays in place and allows you to use your wand to perform other spells at the same time. The most important thing is to keep practising until you can make a very powerful shield, because you won't be able to concentrate on keeping it up while you're in the middle of a battle."

Sirius had gone into teacher mode now, and Harry loved the way his eyes had a serious and passionate look to them. He listened to everything Sirius told him extremely carefully, this was his favourite subject and he was determined to do well in it.

"You said its non-verbal, is there still an incantation I have to say in my mind?" Harry asked attentively.

"The incantation is Visarma. You just need to think it really clearly in your mind, concentrate on it fully."

"Okay," Harry said nervously. He'd never tried any non-verbal spells before.

"You'll be fine! I know you wouldn't usually do non-verbal spells in fifth year, but you've shown that you're extremely capable at Defence so I have complete faith in you." Sirius playfully ruffled Harry's hair, and he felt more confident with Sirius' words.

"Thanks Padfoot," Harry smiled warmly at him and Sirius' smile widened at the use of his nickname. An evil glint appeared in his eye a moment later, however, and Harry narrowed his eyes at him, immediately on edge.

"Okay, to be able to cast the shield properly, I'm afraid we're going to have to recreate a battle situation…" Sirius said to him, a smirk appearing on his face. Harry gulped.

"You mean you're going to try to curse me?" He asked, panicked.

"You know I wouldn't hurt you! I'll just try to disarm you, and you try your best to cast the shield and keep it around you while you try to disarm me in return. It's the sort of spell that's best practiced in the situation it would be used in." Sirius reassured him somewhat, and Harry tried his best to ready himself. Sirius suggested that it would be best to have more space, so they moved into the Drawing room and banished the furniture to the side of the room. Remus stood at the side of the room, watching them amusedly but leaving them to it.

"Alright, you stand there Harry, and I'll try to disarm you. Ready?" Sirius stood a few metres away from him and raised his wand. Harry nervously took out his own wand, repeating the incantation over and over in his mind. _Visarma, Visarma, Visarma…_As Harry thought the word over and over again, he felt a sort of warmth form around him, and he could swear he almost felt a force of some kind surrounding him. He relaxed slightly, more confident that he was going to be able to do it. He thought the incantation again, stronger this time, and he felt the shield around him strengthen.

"I'm ready," he called to Sirius, trying not to give away his confidence. Sirius wouldn't know what was coming to him…

"On three! One…two…three! Expelliarmus!" Sirius shouted the spell, and Harry concentrated on the feeling of the shield around him. Sirius' spell bounced off it harmlessly and Harry quickly shouted "Expelliarmus!" in return, Sirius' wand spinning out of his hand before he had gotten over the shock of Harry's shield working first time.

Harry smirked at the look on Sirius' face. He bent down and picked up the older man's wand, striding over and handing it back to him. Sirius frowned at him and took his wand back, getting over his surprise quickly.

"Wow. You weren't kidding when you said you were good at Defence!" Sirius said with a grin, patting Harry on the back. "I'm not letting you get away that easily though. Let's try again!" Sirius moved back to his place and Harry tried to ready himself, worried about how competitive his godfather was. He was confident that he could beat him, however, and he grit his teeth, holding out his wand and preparing himself for whatever Sirius was about to throw at him.

"On three!" Sirius said again, and Harry tried to use what he'd learnt so far in his Animagus lesson to help him. He cleared his mind, and tried to focus only on his shield, repeating the incantation in his mind. "One…two…three!"

Before Sirius had a chance to hit him, Harry yelled "Expelliarmus!" The spell bounced off Sirius' shield, and Harry ducked quickly to avoid it. They shot a few spells at each other, neither of them managing to break the other's shield, until Harry eventually managed to get Sirius with an unexpected Impedimenta. Sirius staggered backwards, his shield taking the brunt of the spell but collapsing and letting it through. It gave Harry enough time to disarm his godfather, and he watched Sirius' wand spin into the air and land on the floor behind him. He grinned at the disgruntled look on Sirius' face.

"Better luck next time, old man," he teased. Sirius growled and pounced at him, tackling him to the ground. Harry laughed, trying to push the older man off but he was pretty strong when he wanted to be.

"Say that again!" Sirius growled at him, his warm breath tickling Harry's ear, and Harry suddenly didn't want to push him off any more.

"I said…" he whispered seductively, "that you're an old man…good thing I like older men," he whispered even quieter. Sirius smiled and nuzzled Harry's neck, kissing him softly. He kissed a trail up to his jaw, then kissed him passionately on the mouth. Harry was getting very into it, when they were suddenly brought back to reality by the sound of an enraged Remus Lupin striding towards them.

"What the hell is going on here?" He shouted at them, he looked furious. "Sirius, he's your _godson_! What…I don't even know what to say!" Remus sat down heavily on a chair, pointing at the ones next to him and wordlessly commanding them to take a seat too. Harry walked guiltily forwards. How had he forgotten that Remus was in the room? Sirius looked worried too, and they sat down at the table cautiously.

"Sirius. Spill." Remus spoke bluntly, and Harry had never seen him look so disappointed.

"Look, Remus, I don't expect you to understand. I don't even understand myself why this happened between us…" Sirius began, sounding uncertain. Harry looked at him, hurt. Sirius' eyes widened and he hastened to correct himself. "I don't mean that I regret it, not at all! I just didn't expect to fall for my godson, that's all." Harry smiled at him, understanding what he meant. He had no idea how this had happened either, to be fair, but he wouldn't change it for the world.

"I don't know how or why this happened, Remus. I can't even pinpoint when I started feeling differently about Sirius. All I know is that we both have extremely strong feelings for each other, and I for one wouldn't change a thing." Harry spoke up nervously, speaking to the floor. He couldn't bring himself to look at Remus' face. He heard a sigh, and looked up tentatively. Remus looked troubled.

"I just don't get it. Harry, you had a chance at having a proper family. I thought you saw Sirius as a father figure!" He looked distressed, and Harry understood that it must have been very confusing to see Sirius kissing the son of their dead best friend. He sighed. This had been the exact problem Sirius had had to start with, and he really didn't want him having any more doubts. He glanced around to see Sirius' reaction to this, and he was relieved to see that there was no sign of regret on his face.

"Remus, listen to me. I know our relationship doesn't make sense, it isn't remotely normal, but since when have Harry or me ever been normal? If I can get over the issues between us, and you know how stubborn I am, then surely you can get over it too." He looked defiantly at Remus, and put an arm around Harry's shoulders. Harry melted into the embrace automatically, immediately feeling more at ease. Remus watched their interaction carefully, and his expression softened minutely.

"I can't promise that I'll ever agree with you two, but I'll at least give it some time. Is that a fair deal?" Remus asked, sounding strained.

"Okay, sure," Harry said eagerly, "I understand. It took Sirius a while to come around, so I can't expect you to understand this straight away when it's been shoved in your face like this." He looked away, ashamed at the knowledge that he'd been making out with Sirius right in front of Remus. He blushed, wishing he could just Obliviate him, but he sadly knew that it wasn't the answer. It was important to him, and even more important to Sirius that Remus was okay with their relationship. They watched silently as Remus gave them one last troubled look, and wandered from the room. Harry looked at Sirius, biting his lip anxiously.

"I really hope Moony comes to terms with this. I couldn't stand it if he left because of me," Harry said desperately.

"He won't leave, Harry, and it definitely wouldn't be because of you." Sirius hugged him tighter and Harry felt some of his concerns slip away. "He'll get used to the idea, or I'll just have to make him…" Harry smiled at this, happy that Sirius was determined to keep their relationship, despite Remus reacting exactly how they'd expected him to. Even though he'd known Remus would react like this, it hadn't made it any easier. He'd imagined them at least sitting down and telling him gently, not accidentally starting a make-out session right in front of him…Harry groaned and cringed at the memory.

Pulling back from Sirius, Harry yawned widely. It had been a long evening, and he really needed to get some sleep. Practicing those spells had really drained him, and now he was worried about Remus. A good night's sleep was what he needed at the moment. Sirius saw him yawning and smiled softly at him.

"Tired?"

"Yeah, really tired actually."

"Let's head to bed then, and I'll see you in the morning. I'm sure Remus will be fine after sleeping on it…" Sirius said gently, standing up stiffly and walking upstairs. Harry followed him, kissing Sirius goodnight and fondly watching him walk up the stairs to his own bedroom as had become their routine. He climbed into bed, his limbs feeling heavy and his mind foggy with fatigue. It only took a few minutes for him to drift off into a deep sleep.

* * *

Harry tossed and turned, his body drenched in sweat. He was plagued by the same nightmares as always, visions of running down endless corridors that ended in locked doors, and frustratingly vague images of random objects which exuded dark magic. He recognised the book with the fang-hole in it as the diary he had destroyed in his second year, but whenever he woke up he forgot the details of this dreams and only remembered the feeling of dread that always filled his mind. This feeling was all over him at the moment, surrounding him, and he felt as if he would never break out of this nightmare.

Suddenly, he felt a reassuringly cool hand pressed against his forehead, someone was shaking him gently as he slowly surfaced from the nightmares holding him under. He slowly realised that he could hear a familiar voice talking to him urgently.

"Harry? Harry, wake up!" As Harry returned to consciousness he recognised the voice of Sirius and he opened his eyes blearily.

"Sirius?" he whispered hoarsely, the horrible feeling of fear still clinging onto him as it always did for a while after he woke up from one of those dreams.

"It's me, Harry. Are you okay?" Sirius sounded concerned.

"I'll be fine. I have these dreams all the time…" Harry whispered. Sirius stood up as if to leave and Harry was suddenly, inexplicably, on the verge of tears. "No! Don't leave, please don't leave Sirius. I don't want to be by myself, I hate how weak I feel after these nightmares…" Harry confessed, unsure why he was saying this now. He preferred to keep these dreams to himself usually, because he hated showing a sign of weakness. Perhaps it was because Sirius was here, now, while he was still feeling the after effects of the nightmare.

"Of course I won't leave, Harry, not if you don't want me to." Sirius stroked his hair gently, calming him, and then climbed into the bed next to him. Harry instinctively cuddled closer to him and smiled at how warm Sirius felt. Sirius kissed him softly on the cheek, and put his arms around him protectively.

"Don't worry, I'm here now." Sirius whispered soothingly in Harry's ear, and slowly they both drifted off to sleep again.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed that chapter! Sorry it's short, but it would have been ridiculously long if I hadn't split it. Also, sorry for the wait, I've been on holiday and also just gone back to work so I may have less time to write but I promise I will still update as often as I can! Please please review, it makes my day :)


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Harry felt extremely comfortable, and snuggled into the warmth that was next to him. He felt amazingly well rested, and for once was waking up naturally instead of jolting awake from his usual nightmares. Blearily he became more aware of his surroundings and felt the soft warmth next to him slowly rising and falling, felt a heartbeat under his hand. Harry opened his eyes and saw that he was cuddled up next to Sirius in his bed. He gasped, and a smile appeared on his face. Now he remembered waking up last night, Sirius comforting him and promising not to leave. Slightly embarrassed at how he'd acted last night, Harry was still very happy that Sirius had indeed not left. It filled him with a warm fuzzy feeling to be curled up in bed next to him, and he vowed to make sure Sirius slept next to him more often.

After a while, Harry felt Sirius stir next to him and he held his breath, hoping Sirius wouldn't leave now that he was awake. Sirius didn't leave, however. He moved his arms slightly as if only just registering the fact that they were wrapped protectively around Harry's waist still, then he tightened his hold and smiled into Harry's messy hair and kissed him gently on the forehead.

"Good morning, Harry," Sirius whispered softly.

Harry smiled into Sirius' chest, and looked up to meet his eyes. He was suddenly struck by how lucky he was when he took in how handsome Sirius looked right now, with his mussed up bed hair and cheeky grin. Sighing softly, Harry tried to regain composure.

"Morning Sirius," he managed to say in an almost whisper. He wriggled upwards in the bed until his face was level with Sirius', and he looked into the older man's silvery grey eyes with a soft smile on his face. "Thank you…" he said gently, "you know…for staying last night…" he tailed off awkwardly. Sirius smiled back at him and shook his head slightly.

"You don't have to thank me, Harry. You know I'll never leave you as long as you need me." His words seemed to hold more meaning than what was on the surface, and his eyes were serious as he looked into Harry's. Harry almost forgot to breathe for a moment, then took a deep shaky breath and smirked. A mischievous glint appeared in his eye, and he slowly sat up in bed, swinging a leg over Sirius so he was straddling him. Sirius looked surprised for a second, then he smirked back at Harry and raised an eyebrow.

Harry gathered all of his courage, and leant down to capture Sirius' lips in a quick kiss. He pulled back slightly, amused at the frustration in Sirius' eyes. Kissing him again, longer this time, he felt Sirius' tongue dart out and pulled back again, laughing breathily at the scowl he had produced on his godfather's face. His amusement was short lived however, as Sirius suddenly grabbed him by the waist and flung him onto his back, reversing their positions so that he was straddling Harry instead. Harry panted, out of breath from the exertion, face flushed in anticipation. As Harry watched breathlessly, Sirius bent down, bringing his face closer to Harry's until they were only millimetres apart. Ghosting his lips over Harry's face, he bent down and whispered in his ear in a sultry voice.

"I'll teach you to tease me, Harry…" His voice was barely audible, and yet Harry heard every word as loudly as if Sirius had shouted it. His breath hitched, his heart raced, and he looked desperately into Sirius' eyes as if trying to wordlessly tell him to hurry the hell up and kiss him already. Sirius chuckled, reading the impatience in Harry's eyes, and he suddenly swooped down to capture Harry's lips in a searing, passionate kiss. His tongue probed Harry's, warm and wet, with a subtle taste of something that was undeniably Sirius. Harry moaned, the feeling of Sirius' mouth on his, mixed with the warm pressure of their bodies pressed together was exceptionally overwhelming.

_If this is Sirius' idea of punishing me, I think I'll annoy him more often_…Harry thought to himself idly, as Sirius pressed soft kisses along his jawline and down his neck, sucking gently on his collarbone. Harry couldn't help but moan out loud again, and he saw Sirius smirk at him. He moved upwards, apparently unable to resist kissing Harry on the lips again, and Harry gasped as he felt Sirius' hand slide under his shirt and stroke the soft skin of his stomach.

Harry was just beginning to consider never leaving this bed again when he was startled back into reality by his door opening loudly. Sirius' eyes widened and he pulled back, turning round to stare at the door. Remus was standing in the doorway, looking at them with shock, which quickly turned to anger.

"Sirius! What the hell? It was bad enough seeing you all over him the other day, and now you're in his bed?" He sounded incredulous, and Harry averted his eyes, not wanting to see the disappointment in Remus' face. "I really thought that after I talked to you before, you might just let my words sink in and be an adult for once. I guess I was wrong…" With one last disgusted look at them, and without speaking a word to Harry at all, Remus turned and stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Harry leaned back against the pillow, trying not to let it get to him and failing miserably.

"Harry, look at me," Sirius said gently, turning Harry's face with his warm hand. Harry looked at him, pouting slightly. "Just ignore him. He needs more time to get used to the idea of our…relationship."

"What if he never gets used to the idea?" Harry asked worriedly.

"Then that's his problem! If we spent our lives not doing anything unless everyone around us agreed with us, then we'd lead pretty boring lives. After all, this relationship is between us, therefore the only people it should concern are you and me. Remus can choose to agree with us or not, as long as we're happy with each other then it shouldn't affect us."

He put an arm around Harry and pulled him close, and Harry felt much better about everything. Sirius was right, Remus' opinion shouldn't keep them apart. He smiled slightly, relaxing into Sirius' warm embrace. There was no way he was giving up something that felt as good and as right as this, just for the opinion of one Remus Lupin. He would still rather Remus was happy with their relationship though…he sighed, wishing it could all just be simple for once. Sirius seemed to know just what he was thinking, as usual.

"Why don't we do something to take your mind off of this?" Sirius suggested quietly. Harry smirked at him and licked his lips. "I didn't mean that!" Sirius laughed, looking tempted, but he continued with his original train of thought. "What I meant was, perhaps we could start decorating the house today. I'm seriously fed up of this place now, I need to get rid of all these memories…" He trailed off, and Harry looked at him sympathetically.

"That's a great idea, Padfoot. Why don't we start with your bedroom?"

"Alright!" Sirius jumped out of bed eagerly and walked towards the bathroom, giving Harry a chance to check him out. "I know you're staring, Harry," he whispered seductively over his shoulder as he exited the room. Harry blushed, and buried his head under the covers as he listened to Sirius' laughter disappearing down the hallway.

* * *

After a much needed cold shower and a hurried breakfast, Harry climbed the stairs to the second floor and entered Sirius' bedroom. It was a dark, dingy room, much like the rest of the house. He apparently hadn't changed it since he had been living here as a teenager, as there were faded Gryffindor banners hung around the room and posters of Muggle girls in bikinis posing on motorcycles. Also, there was a photo next to the bed of Sirius and his three best friends; James, Remus and Peter. They were all waving happily at the camera, all unaware that the mousy boy on the end, Peter Pettigrew, would one day betray them all to Voldemort. Harry narrowed his eyes, wondering if the teenaged Peter in the photo knew yet how much of a traitor he would one day become.

In the midst of all this was Sirius himself, sitting on his old bed with a morose expression on his face. Harry understood how he felt, and he was determined to do something about it. He sat down on the bed next to Sirius and put an arm around his waist, squeezing him gently, letting him know that he was there for him. Sirius turned to him and smiled softly, lighting up his handsome face.

"We should start by getting rid of all this old furniture," Harry suggested enthusiastically. There wasn't that much in the room, other than Sirius' old bed, a wooden dresser, and a desk and chair in the corner.

"Okay, that sounds good to me," Sirius replied, obviously trying his best to get rid of the memories that were pulling him down. He grinned at Harry and pulled out his wand. "Ready to try some more Vanishing? It's much easier on inanimate objects."

"Er, okay!" Harry said apprehensively. The mouse he had Vanished the other day may have been alive, but it was much smaller than a piece of heavy furniture.

"You'll be fine! I'll get rid of this bed, and you try it out on that desk and chair. Just focus on the spell, concentrate on the idea of it not existing anymore." Sirius turned to the bed, and with a flourish of his wand it disappeared, leaving a large dusty area free in the middle of the room. Harry turned nervously to the chair, and closed his eyes.

Concentrating as hard as he could, Harry flourished his wand and cried "Evanesco!" He opened his eyes tentatively, and was surprised to see that the chair was no longer there.

"I did it!" He said eagerly to Sirius, who laughed at him.

"I told you it was easy. Now, do the rest!" Sirius gestured to the desk, and the dresser. Harry screwed up his face and pointed his wand at them both in turn, shouting the incantation and watching with undisguised excitement as he Vanished the tired old furniture from the room. They were now left with an empty room, the dull carpet covered with dust and what looked suspiciously like mouse droppings in one corner. Sirius looked at him proudly.

"Nicely done, Harry, nicely done. The next bit's up to me though, I'm afraid. I put permanent sticking charms on these posters and banners when I was in school, which means no one but me can get rid of them."

"How come you put permanent sticking charms on them?" Harry asked curiously. "And why, may I ask, are there photos of Muggle girls in bikinis all over the room?" he added with a disgruntled frown on his face. Sirius laughed, unashamed.

"Why do you think? I wanted to piss off my parents as much as possible. If I hadn't ensured that no one else could take the posters down, my mother would have snuck in here while I was at Hogwarts and taken them down herself. I always was a disappointment, ending up in Gryffindor." Sirius looked annoyed, and Harry felt bad for bringing it up.

"Hey, it's fine. We're getting rid of these memories now! Soon your room will be unrecognisable," he smiled at Sirius, trying to lighten the mood. Sirius grinned back, and went to work on the Gryffindor banners first. It seemed to take a fair amount of work, and he could hear Sirius muttering what sounded like complex incantations as he ran his wand around the edges of the banners, so he decided to sit on the floor and think about how they were going to decorate the room when it was empty. It was up to Sirius, of course, but at the moment Harry was imagining it with a simple colour scheme of blues and greens, with a large comfortable bed and perhaps some new furniture such as a wardrobe or a bookcase or something. He also had an idea for something special to reflect Sirius, but he was still unsure about bringing it up.

As he waited, Harry absentmindedly began daydreaming about the two of them breaking in Sirius' bed. He flushed furiously when he realised what he was thinking about, and quickly distracted himself by looking around to see how far Sirius had got with clearing the walls. They were all bare now, and Sirius was working on the final thing – the photograph of himself and his friends at Hogwarts. With one final grim look at Peter Pettigrew, Sirius managed to remove the photo from the wall and he Vanished it with a flick of his wand. He turned to Harry with a pleased expression on his face.

"Well, there we have it! My room is now a blank canvas…" He looked around, clearly satisfied with what they had achieved so far. "Now what?"

"I was thinking…don't hate me for this, Padfoot, but perhaps we could paint the walls the Muggle way?" He saw Sirius' expression and hasted on, "don't look at me like that! Painting is fun, and putting the effort in makes it feel like you actually accomplished something at the end of it." He looked earnestly at Sirius, hoping he could convince him. "I've always wanted to paint a room," he added quietly, looking at the floor instead of Sirius, "the Dursley's never let me paint mine, so it stayed a boring white colour the whole time I lived there." He glanced upwards tentatively, and saw Sirius looking at him with an unreadable expression. He held his breath, fingers crossed behind his back.

"Okay, you convinced me. We'll do it your way," Sirius grinned at him. "Now where can we buy some Muggle paint around here?" He asked, walking towards the door as if he was going to leave.

"Sirius!" Harry shouted after him, panicking. Sirius turned just outside the bedroom door and laughed at him.

"I'm kidding, Harry, c'mon now! I'm not stupid enough to go outside after the bollocking we got last time. I'll conjure us some paint." Sirius smirked at him, and Harry breathed a sigh of relief, feeling stupid for falling for his godfather's joke. Sirius stood in his room looking pensive for a moment, and Harry watched him worriedly as he began to look concerned about something.

"What's up, Sirius?"

"We've hit a very important problem," he said with a deadly serious expression on his face.

"What?" Harry asked him, bemused.

"_What colour should I paint my room_?" Sirius asked loudly, almost shouting. Harry scowled.

"_That_ was your big problem?"

"It's important, Harry! I have no idea how to even approach this!"

Harry sighed, looked at Sirius in amusement. The older man looked genuinely concerned about what colour his bedroom should be. "Well, what colours do you like?" He asked patiently, as if talking to a child.

"Blue. And green. And bluey green, oh and greeny blue. And…silver." Harry looked at his godfather in an entirely new light. Getting rid of his bad memories and replacing them with new ones seemed to be making him so happy that he was acting like an excitable child, and it was quite frankly adorable to watch.

"Green and silver? Are you sure you're not a Slytherin?" he teased, watching the outrage form on Sirius' face.

"I didn't say green and silver! I said blue and green and bluey green-"

"Alright, I know, I was kidding!" Harry laughed at him. "How about we paint the walls a kind of sea green, and the ceiling midnight blue, and add silver highlights to lighten it up?" Sirius thought about it, a look of concentration on his face.

"So…it would be kind of green and silver but not in a Slytherin way?"

"Slytherin is emerald green and silver. Sea green is a bluey green, and it with the blue ceiling it wouldn't look anything like Slytherin colours," Harry patiently explained to him.

"Since when do you know so much about colour combinations, Harry?" Sirius asked him mockingly, smirking at him.

"I liked art a lot at school," Harry said defensively. It had been his favourite subject, in fact, and was one of the main reasons he was so enthusiastic about Sirius agreeing to paint his room the Muggle way. Sirius looked surprised at this bit of information, and let the matter drop, getting to work on conjuring them some paint. After a brief interlude of Sirius trying to get the paint to be exactly the right shade, he conjured them some rollers and brushes and they got to work.

They passed a couple of hours happily painting the walls, and it already looked like a completely new room. Sirius had begrudgingly admitted that Muggle painting was actually much more fun than just charming the walls into a different colour, although he had won the battle to charm the ceiling blue instead of attempting to paint it themselves. The two of them, a ladder and a tin of paint would never have been a good mix.

When the walls were done and Sirius was admiring their efforts, Harry spontaneously decided that it would be a brilliant and hilarious idea to spray a little paint at Sirius. He grabbed a brush that was still sitting in the tin of silver paint, and innocently wandered towards Sirius. When the older man turned around and smiled at him, Harry quickly flung the brush at Sirius and flicked paint onto him. Sirius' face was a picture of surprise, and Harry laughed hysterically at the sight. It wasn't helped by the fact that there was paint sprayed on his face and in his hair, which completely took away from the angry expression Sirius was trying to uphold. With a growl, he picked up the brush from the tin of green paint and stalked towards Harry, who backed away from him nervously.

Before he knew what was happening, Sirius was throwing paint at him and he was throwing it back, both of them giving up on looking angry and simply laughing at each other, trying to dodge around the room and cursing the lack of furniture to hide behind. After a while they both collapsed to the floor, out of breath and covered in paint. The smooth sea green walls were sprayed with silver all over, and Harry thought it actually looked quite nice. Sirius agreed with a laugh, and they decided to keep it that way. After all, it would create a nice memory of the fun they had decorating the room.

They lay back on the floor, and Harry gently entwined their hands. He smiled at the comforting feeling of Sirius' fingers wound around his own, and turned to look at him.

"Sirius?" he spoke quietly, not wanting to disturb this peaceful moment.

"Harry?"

"I have an idea for a finishing touch to the room…feel free to tell me if it's a stupid idea…" Harry began hesitantly, unsure of what Sirius would think.

"I have complete confidence in you," Sirius grinned at him, and Harry felt his mouth twitch into a responding smile.

"Alright. Well, I thought that a cool way to make the room reflect you as a person would be to paint the night sky on the ceiling, including the constellation of Canis Major of course…" Harry held his breath, looking expectantly at Sirius' face to judge his reaction. Canis Major was of course the constellation also known as the Great Dog, which included Sirius, the brightest star in the sky. Sirius simply rolled over on the carpet and put an arm around Harry, pulling him into a hug.

"You know what, Harry, just when I think you've surpassed my expectations you go and think up something even more awesome," Sirius whispered in his ear. Harry could hear the smile in his voice, "that's a brilliant idea, I love it!"

With a sudden rush of energy and enthusiasm, Sirius jumped up and grabbed his wand, pacing up and down and looking at the ceiling every now and then, clearly deep in thought. Harry sat up and watched him silently, giving him a chance to think. He was so glad Sirius had liked his idea, it was one he was particularly proud of. This room would now reflect Sirius, and bring memories of the time they spent together decorating it, instead of memories of Sirius rebelling against his parents and his troubled childhood in general.

After a little while Sirius stopped pacing and looked triumphant. "I've got it! I think I know how we can recreate the actual night sky on the ceiling, so that it changes with the movement of the earth. It's a bit like the spell on the Great Hall at Hogwarts, but much smaller and less complex obviously."

Harry watched in awe as Sirius pointed his wand at the ceiling, muttering different incantations and waving his wand about in what appeared to be completely random motions. A sort of haze appeared on the ceiling, almost like looking at the horizon on a hot summer's day, and Harry could almost feel the tangible magic surrounding them. Finally, when he was becoming increasingly intrigued as to whether the spell was actually working, Harry saw the haze clear and the ceiling was left with the soft, cool light of millions of stars. The one that shone the brightest, which was true to fact, was Sirius.

Harry stared up at the ceiling in awe, along with Sirius himself. He suddenly came to the realisation that they were embracing, although he didn't recall it happening. This room was now spectacular to behold, and Harry was confident that their decorating skills had completely wiped out all of the old memories of Sirius' childhood. It might even be a place that he enjoyed being in now, and that was something spectacular in itself.

Harry and Sirius both decided to head downstairs for some lunch, both of them feeling light hearted and happy after the successful morning they'd had. They settled down for some good old fashioned grilled cheese sandwiches, laughing and joking together. Harry couldn't help but notice that Remus was nowhere to be seen, however, and that dampened his mood slightly. He really hoped Remus would see sense and realise that this relationship was good for the two of them, and that neither of them could change how they felt even if they'd wanted to.

As Harry munched on his sandwiches, his mind wandered and he found himself thinking about Ron and Hermione. He felt guilty for neglecting them again, and vowed to call them on his two way mirror soon. As he thought about their last conversation, he suddenly realised that he'd told Ron and Hermione that he'd ask Sirius about Hagrid. Now he felt even guiltier for forgetting about everything they'd spoken about. He'd been so wrapped up in himself, and his changing relationship with Sirius, that he'd forgotten about everyone and everything else important to him. Now seemed as good a time as ever to bring it up, so he decided to just go for it.

"Sirius, there's something I've been thinking about. Worrying about, actually. I was wondering if I could ask you something…" Harry began, feeling awkward and worried as to whether Sirius would actually tell him anything or not. Sirius looked at him, slightly concerned.

"Ask away, Harry," he said curiously.

"I was talking to Ron and Hermione the other day and they told me that Hagrid still isn't back at school. I was just wondering if he was doing something for the Order, you know. We're worried that he's injured or something," Harry said quickly, his concern clear in his voice. Sirius looked at him with a frown on his face, and he didn't answer straight away.

"The thing is, Harry, Hagrid was doing something important for the Order. I can't tell you what," he said quickly before Harry could interrupt, "he was supposed to be back by now, and we aren't quite sure what happened to him." Harry's mouth dropped open at this, and Sirius shifted guiltily.

"What do you mean, you don't know what happened to him?" Harry asked loudly.

"He was with Madame Maxime, you remember her? She got back a month or so ago, and she told us that they'd got separated on the way home. Dumbledore isn't worried, and there isn't anything to suggest he's hurt…" Sirius trailed off, knowing his explanation wasn't good enough.

"If he was supposed to be back a month ago, and no one's heard from him…" Harry said quietly, filled with worry and doubt. His good mood from the morning had been wiped out completely.

"He'll be fine, Harry, you'll see. He's tough, I'm sure he can handle himself," Sirius tried his best to comfort Harry.

"What was he doing for the Order?" Harry asked bluntly.

"I can't tell you Harry, I'm sorry. You have to be an Order member to have that kind of information-"

"Well, why can't I be an Order member?" Harry asked crossly, "I still don't see why I'm not allowed. It's not like I'm even at Hogwarts anymore."

"It's not just about whether you're at school or not, Harry," Sirius said intently, "you're still only fifteen and it's too dangerous."

"Who are you to speak to me about danger?" Harry asked indignantly.

Sirius smiled humourlessly at him. "I know, we've both seen our fair share of danger, but that's not the point. I don't want you getting hurt, I couldn't bear it-" he stopped talking for a moment as his voice almost broke, and Harry felt some of his resolve disappearing. "You've been through enough already, and I really don't want to see you get hurt." Sirius spoke softly, avoiding Harry's eyes, and Harry decided to stop arguing for now. As he finished his lunch in silence, they were interrupted by someone stomping angrily into the kitchen.

"Tonks?" Harry said tentatively, taking in her obviously angry and upset appearance. She was muttering furiously under her breath, there were tear tracks down her face and her hair was short and bright red streaked with black, sticking up all over the place.

"Oh, hello Harry. Sirius." She spoke roughly, clearing her throat and sitting down heavily at the table.

"Er…are you okay?" Harry asked awkwardly. This was the sort of conversation he was terrible at.

"No, not really. Thanks to Remus…" she muttered angrily, shooting a mutinous look in the direction of where Harry assumed she had just spoken to Remus.

"What's he done now?" Sirius asked loudly, a scowl on his face.

"Well…" Tonks began, looking slightly awkward, "I just wish he would make his stupid mind up, and not lead me on if he's just going to get angry at me when I try to…" she tailed off, her cheeks red. Harry got the gist of what she was saying, and he immediately felt sorry for her. He had noticed the growing attraction between the two of them, and he was surprised that Remus would get angry at her. He supposed the werewolf had been in a bad mood today after finding Sirius in Harry's bed this morning…

"He got angry at you?" Sirius asked incredulously, "I'm going to give that man a piece of my mind," he said angrily, standing up abruptly and striding from the room. Tonks watched him leave, not trying to stop him, but looking mildly apprehensive none the less. Harry sat in an awkward silence, not sure what to say in this situation. He twiddled his thumbs and looked at the table until Tonks broke the awkward silence.

"I guess it just wasn't meant to be," Tonks said morosely, mostly speaking to herself, Harry thought. "I must have been stupid to even fall for him in the first place."

This stirred up something in Harry, as he thought back to how he'd felt when Sirius had initially rejected him. It hadn't been because they were wrong for each other, but because Sirius was worried about starting a relationship with him.

"Don't talk like that, Tonks, it's not your fault," Harry began, trying his best to word this right, "it's probably more complicated than that. Did Remus give you a reason why he didn't…you know…reciprocate?"

Tonks looked at the table, and Harry was glad she didn't try to initiate eye contact. "He just shouted at me about how it could never work between us, we were too different to each other."

"Well maybe it's him that has self-esteem issues, and it's not your fault at all. He's in a crappy mood today anyway, after he saw-" Harry cut off that sentence quickly. "The point is, me and Sirius had an argument with him and he was pretty angry already."

Tonks looked curiously at him, but didn't press the issue, for which Harry was immensely grateful. "Remus, self-esteem issues? Are you sure?" She asked him pensively.

"Well, he is a werewolf. Maybe he feels that he's too dangerous, he's scared of hurting you?"

"That…well, that does sound like something he'd say," Tonks said thoughtfully, looking more hopeful than when she'd walked in. Harry was immensely glad, because he was running out of insightful things to say.

"I think if you just give him some time, and come up with an argument that he can't say no to, then you'll be fine. You have to convince him that you don't care that he's a werewolf, that you love him anyway," Harry said passionately, thinking about how he'd had to convince Sirius that being his godfather wasn't as big an issue as Sirius had first thought. He suddenly realised what he had said to Tonks, and he blushed. Since when did he have in depth conversations with women about love? Tonks looked pleased, however, and she thanked Harry before rushing off upstairs. Harry let out a sigh of relief, glad that he'd somehow handled that situation without making it worse.

Finding himself now sitting alone in the kitchen, with lunch finished, Harry decided to go up to his room and carry on reading the book he'd been given by Sirius about Animagus transformations. The theory was essential to successfully mastering the transformation, and Harry found that the book was fascinating. Some of the sections did get a bit complex and took slightly more concentration to understand, but it was totally worth it. Harry opened up the book to the place that he'd marked, and continued reading about how getting to know your magical core was imperative for the initial discovery of your soul animal.

_The magical core is an important part of a wizard or witch. It is the essential part of a wizard that sets him apart from a Muggle – the origin of the magic. It is a part of your soul, buried deep within yourself, and it is only by connecting to your magical core and learning to feel it when you use your magic, that you can reach within yourself and discover the animal that is closely linked with your soul. _

This book really was fascinating, and Harry was completely engrossed in it for the next couple of hours. Eventually, his concentration began to waver however and his mind wandered off to think about other things. He found himself thinking back to his conversation with Sirius earlier that had been cut off by Tonks entering the kitchen. He was still frustrated that Sirius wouldn't let him join the Order, even if he understood that it was because he was worried for Harry's safety.

It wasn't as if he was planning on running off to find Voldemort and duel with him, Harry thought to himself angrily. He wasn't stupid. It would just be nice to be given information, to be trusted with it. He had, after all, witnessed the regeneration of Lord Voldemort. It was him that had been targeted by the Dark wizard since he was a baby. Surely Harry might actually have some useful information himself that no one had bothered to ask him yet, about the night that he had returned. It seemed reasonable enough to him, and Harry decided that he should try asking Sirius about it again soon.

* * *

It was a few days before Harry actually got round to asking Sirius again. They had been a busy few days, and Harry had been understandably distracted in his opinion. Sirius had come to Harry on the evening of the day that they'd decorated his room, and reminded him that they hadn't actually put any new furniture in his room. This conversation had resulted in them both working together to conjure Sirius a bed, and Sirius ultimately asking Harry if he would stay and sleep next to him that night. Harry had of course agreed, after much blushing, and since then they'd come to an unspoken agreement that this was now their bedroom, instead of just Sirius'.

Remus and Tonks had since had some sort of discussion in the privacy of the kitchen (they'd shut the door and cast an Impervius charm on it so that Sirius' attempts to eavesdrop with Fred and George's extendable ears were unsuccessful). Since that day they'd looked a lot happier around each other, and Harry had even seen Remus give Tonks a quick kiss on the lips when he didn't think anyone was looking.

Harry finally got the courage to ask Sirius about the Order again when they had just finished dinner. They were both feeling satisfied and content, and full of food, and it seemed a good a time as any to try to discuss it.

"Sirius, I've been thinking…" Harry began, looking thoughtfully at his godfather. Sirius narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"This sounds worrying," he replied.

"Oh shut up, you old dog," Harry grinned at him. "Will you let me finish?"

Sirius grinned back at him. "I suppose so. Carry on."

"I was thinking about the Order. Now, hear me out," he said quickly, noticing Sirius' guarded expression. "I think I have a right to join. Voldemort has targeted me since I was a baby, he's tried to kill me multiple times. It was me that saw him return to his full strength, and I think that if someone actually bothered to ask me about that night I could give them some useful information. Not only that, but I've faced a lot and despite my age, I think I really am mature enough and intelligent enough to be given a chance." He finished his rant and looked at Sirius, trying to judge his reaction. Sirius looked pensive, and didn't speak for a while. Harry was just starting to get irritable and impatient when Sirius finally replied.

"You do have some good points there, Harry," he admitted slowly, "but you have to understand that if you did join the Order, I wouldn't let you go out there and do anything dangerous. You'd be sitting in meetings and giving your opinion only."

"That sounds reasonable enough to me!" Harry said eagerly, happy that Sirius was even considering his argument.

"It's not only my opinion that counts, however," Sirius warned him. "I'll have to call a meeting and speak about this to everyone else, and I can't guarantee that they'll agree with me."

"Okay," Harry said seriously. "But you'll argue for me?"

Sirius sighed, and nodded. "Yes, I'll try to convince them to let you join. If I've learned anything about you, Harry, it's that you're genuinely more mature than your fifteen years. I do think you'd be a good asset to the Order, as long as you accept that you won't have a physical role."

"That's fine by me," Harry said with a smile on his face. "Thank you for listening to me and trusting me," he said simply. Sirius smiled and embraced him.

"Just don't do anything stupid, Harry," he whispered softly in his ear. "I don't know what I would do if I were to lose you."

* * *

That was the longest chapter so far! I really hope you enjoyed it, please please leave a review because they're what keeps me going :)


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

It was almost a week before Sirius managed to get the important members of the Order together for a meeting about Harry potentially joining. Kingsley was overrun at work, as were most of the other members that worked at the Ministry. Sirius said that Dumbledore wasn't available, but Harry wasn't sure if Sirius had even contacted him in the first place. The both of them were still rather mistrustful of the headmaster, and Harry knew perfectly well that Dumbledore would probably do as much as he could to stop Harry joining.

Harry would be lying if he said he wasn't anxious about the meeting. Convincing Sirius had been difficult enough, and he was biased. The other members of the Order would take a very serious approach to this, and Harry could only hope that they would hear him out, and that he would be able to put forward a decent argument. Having Sirius on his side could be very helpful, and he really hoped that Remus would help him out too.

Things were still a bit strained with Remus, although they'd talked about the situation after he'd had a chance to cool off, and Remus had reluctantly agreed that Harry and Sirius were good for each other. It would take a bit of time for him to come around completely, but Harry really hoped that he would at least look past this for now and objectively put his opinion forward in Harry's favour. After all, Remus knew perfectly well what Harry had been through, and hopefully would respect his decision to join the prodigious Order of the Phoenix.

Harry sat at the kitchen table, anxiously awaiting the arrival of the Order members Sirius had managed to contact. His heart was racing slightly faster than usual, and his palms were sweaty. Talking in front of people had never been something that came easily to him, and this was something really important. He just hoped that he would be able to say the right words when everyone was sitting there, looking at him. Sirius, who was sitting next to him at the table, seemed to notice Harry's nerves. Squeezing his hand under the table, he gave Harry a comforting smile.

The front door opened loudly, luckily not loud enough to wake up the portrait in the hall, and voices drew nearer to the kitchen. Harry sat up straighter and stared at the door, and a moment later Remus entered, followed by Tonks, and finally Kingsley Shacklebolt. Harry had barely time to greet them before the front door opened again. This time Mad Eye Moody walked in, and sat at the kitchen table with the rest after giving Harry a suspicious glare and a growled acknowledgment. Finally, the door opened one last time and Molly Weasley bustled into the room. Harry sighed, wondering why Sirius would even ask her to come.

He glanced at Sirius to see his reaction, and was pleased to see that he looked just as annoyed as Harry felt. There was a scowl on his face, which he wiped quickly when Molly looked his way. The look on Sirius' face suggested that it hadn't been him that contacted Molly, and Harry noticed Sirius looking suspiciously at Remus who carefully avoided his gaze. The Order members congregated around the table, taking seats after quickly greeting each other.

Sitting around the table, the members of the Order were staring at Harry with expressions ranging from undisguised curiosity to outright suspicion. Harry fidgeted nervously and looked at Sirius, hoping he would talk to them first and give Harry time to think. Sirius smiled at him and squeezed his hand once more under the table, then cleared his throat. Everyone's attention turned to him, and Harry breathed a sigh of relief while he desperately tried to remember all the reasons that he felt he should join the Order.

"Okay everyone, I'm sure you're all wondering why you're here," Sirius began. "Harry has something he wants to ask everyone, so all I ask is that you listen to him and give him a chance to say everything he needs to say before you offer your opinions." He looked specifically at Molly as he said this, clearly expecting her to want to butt in. As Sirius stopped talking, everyone's attention turned back to Harry and he felt his face redden, suddenly wishing he had a glass of water to moisten his dry mouth.

"Er, thanks for coming, everyone," Harry began awkwardly, feeling his face become redder. He deliberately avoided looking anyone in the eye, instead delivering his speech to the table. "Well, the reason I wanted you all to come here today is because…because I want to join the Order of the Phoenix."

He saw the looks of apprehension on everyone's faces, and quickly soldiered on. "Please, hear me out before you all disagree with me. I believe that I have every right to join the Order. For a start, Voldemort has targeted me since I was a baby. He's tried to kill me so many times, and he killed my parents, so if there's anyone here more dedicated to bringing him down than me, I'll be surprised."

Harry glared at everyone sitting around the table, gaining confidence when he saw the shocked expressions on some of their faces. "Not only that, but since I saw him come back to full power back in June, with my own eyes, I think that I could actually have some important information about Voldemort if someone bothered to ask me about it. I'm not asking to go out there and fight, but I think that I've at least earned the right to be able to sit in meetings and hear information, to give my opinion on things and do my best to help bring the bastard down."

Harry stopped talking, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. He hadn't meant to swear at the end there, but it seemed to have made everyone stop and think. The silence in the room was deafening as everyone let Harry's words sink in. Most people looked like they were giving serious thought to Harry's words, but there was one person in particular who stood out with her look of polite incredulity.

"Harry, dear," Molly began in a motherly tone, "do you really think it's wise to involve yourself in this? You're only a child, you haven't even finished school." She sounded as if she was trying to be helpful, but Harry found her tone patronising and irritating.

"I may be young, Molly, but I'm not a child anymore," he started angrily, trying to keep his voice even, "I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop patronising me. This isn't a childish decision, I've put thought into it and I would really appreciate it if you'd at least give it serious consideration." Harry inwardly smirked at the shocked and offended look on Molly's face. To his relief, no one else around the table seemed to be as quick to discount him as Molly was.

Before Molly could speak again, Remus cleared his throat and spoke in his calm, quiet voice, "Harry does have a point, Molly," he said somewhat sternly, and Harry felt hope spring in his chest, "he's been through a lot in his life and he can't really be called a child anymore. He's more emotionally mature than a lot of people twice his age." This was met by a few nods from people around the table, and Harry smiled slightly. At least if he could convince everyone apart from Molly then they could outnumber her.

"Thank you, Remus," Harry smiled gratefully at him and received a small smile in return.

Kingsley was the next person to speak up, in his deep, measured voice, "I can understand how important this is to you, and I don't doubt your maturity levels, but would you be able to resist the urge to ignore orders and leave headquarters if something serious happened? Can we trust you to protect yourself and stay safe?"

Kingsley's face was serious, and Harry let his words sink in before formulating an answer. It was a fair question to ask, it was well known that Harry usually let his heart rule his head. Like Sirius he had been known to be reckless, and he wasn't surprised that people were hesitant to trust the two of them together. However, he felt that he had grown up enough to be able to control his actions more now, he knew that it was important to keep himself safe.

"I see why you'd question that, Kingsley," Harry said, feeling nervous in case he messed his words up, "I know that I've been reckless and irresponsible in the past. However, I've grown up a lot now and I know that I'm perfectly capable of following rules and keeping myself safe when necessary."

"Oh really? What about that time not so long ago when you and Sirius left the house and gallivanted off to the park while everyone else was out?" Molly asked defiantly, giving Harry a smug look. Harry's face reddened and he struggled to think of something to say.

"Er, well, I already promised that it won't happen again. You know I regret it," Harry muttered, hating Molly for making him look stupid. He'd almost forgotten that amazing morning he'd spent with Sirius in the park while everyone else had been going off to Hogwarts. He'd almost kissed Sirius as they'd sat next to the river, and then he'd panicked…but now wasn't the time to reminisce, it was imperative that he kept his wits about him and managed to give a decent argument against Molly if he wanted everyone else to take him seriously.

"That wasn't Harry's idea anyway, that was mine," Sirius spoke up unexpectedly, "we all know I've done stupid things in the past, but don't let it change your mind about Harry. He's got a mature, intelligent attitude and he's a damn sight more controlled than I am. I trust him to listen to any orders he's given, and I know for a fact that if he's given the privilege of joining meetings then he'll be happy with that and he won't feel the need to break out and do anything stupid."

Harry looked at Sirius in shock for a moment, knowing for a fact that it was indeed himself, not Sirius, which had come up with the idea of sneaking out back in September. Sirius was covering for him, and arguing a very good point at the same time. Harry grinned widely at him, feeling a rush of affection for the older man, and Sirius grinned back at him.

"Fair enough," Kingsley said simply, giving Harry a searching look. "I think I can trust you, Harry, but what does everyone else think? Alastor?" Kingsley turned to Mad Eye Moody, who had been so far silent throughout the meeting. His expression was inscrutable, and Harry was slightly worried about his opinion. Moody was usually suspicious of everyone and everything and if there was anyone here that wouldn't trust Harry, it would probably be him. Harry was pleasantly surprised, however by Moody's response.

"If you feel that you're up to the job, Potter, then that's your decision. I've heard enough to believe that you have a sensible head on your shoulders, but know that if you put a toe out of line, if you jeopardise the secrecy of the Order, or endanger the lives of any member with stupidity or recklessness, then you'll feel the…displeasure…of myself and my colleagues, do I make myself clear?" Moody growled this at Harry in his rough voice, his scarred face showing a look of intimidation. Harry gulped, knowing that Moody meant business.

"Yes, I understand," Harry said quickly. He let out a shaky breath, pleased that both Kingsley and Moody, the two senior and most powerful members in this room, seemed to have put their trust in him.

"What do you think, Tonks?" Remus asked her with a small smile. She was the only person not to have spoken yet, which was unusual for her. She blushed slightly as she looked at Remus, and Sirius rolled his eyes with a grin.

"I'm with Harry all the way. I reckon he'd be great in the Order," she grinned at Harry. She was probably feeling particularly happy towards Harry after their conversation the other day had resulted in her finally getting together with Remus. Harry was happy for the two of them, and also happy that Tonks trusted him enough to join the Order too.

"Well, it appears that everyone at this table is in agreement apart from you, Molly." Kingsley spoke quietly and everyone at the table turned to stare at the slightly apprehensive redhead. She squared her shoulders and sat up straighter in her chair, a defiant expression forming on her face. Harry sighed, knowing that she wasn't going to give up that easily.

"It's not just about my opinion, Kingsley, or the opinion of everyone else here. Dumbledore simply won't allow this to happen."

"Since when is it Dumbledore's decision? This is my life, not his, and if everyone else here supports me and agrees with me then why shouldn't Dumbledore let me join?" Harry retorted angrily. He should have known that Molly would bring the meddling headmaster into this. It was for the greater good, Harry appreciated this, but he still didn't think that Dumbledore should control his every move.

"He's only thinking about your safety, Harry, as am I," Molly said gently, trying to convince Harry that she was only trying to mother him.

"My safety? That's very noble of him, but as we've already established, I'm perfectly safe in Grimmauld place, and I have no intention of leaving here again," Harry said coldly.

"We get it, you worry about him," Sirius said to Molly exasperatedly, "but that doesn't mean that either you or Dumbledore gets to control his every move. Everyone else here agrees that Harry joining the Order is a good idea, therefore I think we should overrule you and make it official. What does everyone else say to that?" Sirius' voice was loud and commanding, and everyone looked at him seriously. Harry's heart raced suddenly, feeling the tension in the room rise to breaking point.

"I say that we let Harry join from now on, and hear Dumbledore's opinion on the matter when he's next available. He's rarely at meetings now that the Hogwarts term has started, and it really doesn't affect him much either way if Harry is here or not." Kingsley's voice was confident and authoritative, and his statement was met with murmurs of agreement and nods of the head.

"I second that." Moody growled his agreement, and he was shortly followed by Remus, Tonks, and an enthusiastic Sirius. Molly stayed silent, scowling in the corner, but it didn't matter at this stage. She was overruled, and there was nothing she could do about it.

"Alright then, I officially declare Harry James Potter as a member of the Order of the Phoenix. If you could sign this document, Harry," Kingsley handed Harry an official looking piece of parchment. He scanned it quickly, seeing that it was a Document of Secrecy. He signed it with the quill and ink that was thrust at him, and he briefly felt a warm shiver run through him as the magic took effect.

"Thanks, Harry," Kingsley said, collecting the document and Vanishing it with a tap of his wand.

"Now if you speak a secret that you've learned from an Order member to someone who is outside the Order, and it is seen as a betrayal, you and everyone else in the Order will know about it, you can trust me on that." Moody sounded threatening, and Harry wondered what terrible fate would befall him if he spoke Order secrets to anyone.

"You can trust me." Harry looked directly into Moody's uneven eyes, and Moody seemed pleased with his response. The meeting seemed to be over now, as people began to stand up and gather their belongings together.

"We'll be seeing you shortly, Harry. There's a meeting planned for next week, Sirius will tell you the details when they become more solid," Kingsley said, holding out his hand for Harry to shake. Harry shook it firmly and smiled at Kingsley, saying his goodbyes to him and everyone else in the room. Everyone filed out of the kitchen, then out of the front door, disapparating when they reached the end of the street and disappearing into the night. Remus left with the others, he had been spending most of his time away from Grimmauld place since he'd got together with Tonks. Harry wasn't complaining, it gave him much more free time to spend with Sirius.

"Well done Harry, you did really well this evening," Sirius smiled warmly at Harry, that beautiful smile sending shivers down Harry's spine.

"Thanks Padfoot. It was all down to you really, though, you saved me from Molly's annoying arguments."

"That woman really needs to learn to leave you alone and stop acting like Dumbledore's lapdog," Sirius growled angrily. Harry chuckled, he couldn't agree more with that statement.

"Definitely. Let's not worry about that now, though. We have the rest of the evening to ourselves…" Harry trailed off, stepping closer to Sirius and looking up at him suggestively. He was in a very good mood now, adrenaline still rushing through him from the nervousness of earlier, and the rush he'd got from actually being accepted into the Order. Now he was alone with Sirius at last, he couldn't get the handsome older man out of his head.

Sirius looked down at him, guessing exactly what Harry was hinting at. He smirked, a glint in his silvery grey eyes, and Harry was left breathless once again by how gorgeous the man was. Sirius moved his face closer to Harry's, and Harry felt his pulse racing, his eyes flickered shut and he moaned involuntarily as he felt his godfather's lips pressing softly along the curve of his jaw. He turned and captured Sirius' lips in a searing kiss, running his hands through the older man's unruly hair and deepening the kiss, savouring the taste, the sensation of Sirius' warm body pressing insistently against his own.

They moved slowly towards the stairs, stopping every few steps to kiss. Harry couldn't get enough of Sirius tonight, and his excitement was starting to make itself known in a particularly prominent way. He thought briefly about going further with Sirius than he had before, they'd only kissed so far, this thought made his heart race faster and his palms sweat. Eventually they made it to the bedroom and collapsed onto their bed together, Sirius straddling Harry and pressing their bodies together again. They kissed passionately, Sirius' thigh pressing against Harry's obvious excitement, and Harry distinctly heard him left out an almost animalistic growl of anticipation.

After a little while of this, Harry was breathing heavily and gently grinding himself on Sirius' perfect body, Sirius returning the favour. Harry began to feel slightly light headed, but not in a good way. He felt…strange. A weird feeling was overtaking him, and he pulled away from Sirius for a moment, shaking his head and frowning in confusion. Something didn't feel right. Sirius looked at him, his face flushed and eyes bright with excitement, but soon turning to concern as he took in Harry's expression.

"Harry? Are you okay?" Sirius asked him anxiously.

"I don't know…" Harry said, and he began prop himself up on his elbows when suddenly a massive pain erupted in his scar, and he shut his eyes against the pain, curling up in a ball and screaming out loud involuntarily. He forgot who he was, where he was, what was happening, for an indeterminate amount of time he knew only pain. Eventually it began to recede, he breathed out in short pants and tried to open his eyes, feeling a splitting headache taking hold. Blearily, he managed to opened his eyes and come to his senses enough to see that Sirius was standing over him, looking terrified and shouting his name.

"Harry! Harry, talk to me, please, Harry!" Sirius sounded almost hysterical.

"I'm alright, Sirius," Harry whispered, wincing as the small movement of talking made his head hurt more.

"Oh Merlin, Harry, what happened? Was it your scar?" Sirius spoke softly, obviously trying to calm himself down.

"Yeah. I can't remember ever feeling it hurt that much before," Harry said quietly. "I think Voldemort is extremely angry about something."

"How do you know?" Sirius asked quickly.

"I get pain in my scar when he's feeling powerful emotions. I've never felt anything like that before, but it sure felt like anger to me," Harry said gingerly. He didn't have a clue about what could have made Voldemort that angry, but he was sure he'd find out soon enough. Sighing, Harry climbed under the duvet and lay back, wishing that Voldemort could have waited just a little bit longer before getting so angry. His evening with Sirius had been ruined, now he just wanted to go to sleep and get rid of this horrible headache. His scar was still twinging every now and then, and it was incredibly irritating. He saw Sirius settle down in bed next to him, and gave him a tired smile. They snuggled closer to each other, enjoying the warmth and the safety. It thankfully didn't take long for Harry to doze off, and he slipped into the painless comfort of sleep.

* * *

Harry tossed and turned, struggling to get out of the nightmare that was holding him down. He saw flashes of red, he heard someone screaming as if they were being tortured, but saw nothing solid enough to know what was happening. A high, cold laugh erupted from his mouth and he woke suddenly, gasping for air, seeing a worried Sirius sitting next to him in the bed.

"Another nightmare?" Sirius asked him gently. He'd seen Harry wake from them many times, although the nightmares happened a lot less often now that Harry was sharing a room with Sirius.

"Yeah, but it was different this time. Usually I'm running down corridors, or feeling terrified of something that I can't put my finger on. This time something was happening, someone was being attacked, and I think…I think I might have been seeing it from Voldemort's point of view," Harry said quietly. "At the end, I could hear myself laughing in Voldemort's voice, and I felt as if it was me that attacked those people." Harry felt cold and sweaty, his voice uneven. He raised his hands up to his face and realised he was shaking. Whatever it was that had made Voldemort so angry last night, Harry was almost sure he'd just seen glimpses of it in his dreams.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed that, sorry for the wait! I've been working, and I had a bit of writers block but I'm back now :) please please leave a review, they never fail to make me very happy! x


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Harry awoke suddenly, feeling a hand shaking him gently and a rough voice whispering in his ear.

"Wake up, Harry!" Harry opened his eyes blearily and looked at his godfather questioningly. "An emergency Order meeting's been called, Kingsley didn't go into details but I have a feeling we might be about to find out what made Voldemort so angry yesterday…" Sirius trailed off, striding from the room. Groaning, Harry dragged himself out of bed and padded towards the bathroom. Intrigued though he was about the meeting, he really wasn't a morning person.

A few minutes later, after hurriedly freshening up and throwing on some clothes, Harry walked into the kitchen to see several Order members sitting around the table in tense silence. He slowly sat down in the chair next to Sirius, gazing round the room and wondering what on earth had happened. Kingsley was sitting at the head of the table, he seemed to be the leader whenever Dumbledore wasn't around. Remus and Tonks were here too, hand in hand, Mundungus Fletcher was sitting slouched in one corner of the room, and Mad Eye Moody was a few chairs along from him, his magical eye pointing sideways at him as if keeping watch. They all had grim expressions on their faces.

Kingsley was the first to break the silence. "I'm sure you're wondering why we're here," he began in a slow, gentle voice, looking directly at Harry. "We had word in the early hours of the morning that there had been an attack, almost definitely by Voldemort himself, on a group of Muggles." Harry's eyes widened, connecting this immediately to the vision he'd had last night. There had been screams, torture, and Voldemort's distinctive chilling laugh. Why was Kingsley speaking as if this was directly relevant to Harry though? One glance into Kingsley's sombre face told him there was more.

"Harry…the family of Muggles that were murdered. They were the Dursleys." Kingsley looked uncharacteristically cautious, as if trying not to upset Harry. A quick sweep of the room told Harry that everyone else, barring Sirius, seemed to expect him to burst into tears or something. He was shocked, yes, but he couldn't bring himself to feel particularly upset about the deaths of the family that had abused and neglected him for all those years. Clearly, the Order hadn't been told the details of Harry's upbringing.

"You can stop looking at me as if I'm going to break down, it's not going to happen," Harry said tersely. "I won't say I'm happy that they're dead, because I'm not that twisted, but I'm certainly not upset about it." Harry scowled, and noticed the looks of shock on the faces of the Order members.

"But Harry…you've lived with them since you were a baby, they raised you!" Remus said quietly to him, a look of confusion on his face. Harry was slightly surprised that Sirius had never mentioned anything to him about the Dursleys, but he was happy that Sirius had kept it private for him. It seemed the truth was going to come out now, anyway.

"They may have let me stay in their house, but that's about as far as their so called kindness went. Until I was eleven, and they realised I might be magical, I had to live in the cupboard under the stairs. If I did something wrong, which happened fairly often because of my accidental magic, they would lock me in there and not let me eat for days…" Harry spoke bitterly, and he relished the looks of revulsion and horror on the faces of the Order members. Remus had put his head in his hands, and Kingsley's eyes were wide. Moody was muttering something under his breath that Harry couldn't quite hear but he gathered that it was fairly aggressive.

"Harry…" Remus said weakly, "I wish I'd known. I knew your father so well, and yet I left his son to be raised by an abusive family instead of seeking you out to raise you myself. I was terrified that my…problem…would be dangerous for you, but even that would have been a better environment to have been raised in." He looked distraught, and Harry tried his best to comfort him.

"Hey, it's fine. I got through it. There's no point dwelling on the past when there's nothing we can do to change it. I don't blame you at all," Harry said softly.

"Yeah, let's not forget that the people to blame for this situation are the Dursleys. They're the ones who let their fear of magic turn them into abusers." Sirius' voice was dark, and Harry wouldn't have been surprised to learn that Sirius had a twisted pleasure in finding out that Harry's tormenters were dead. Remus looked slightly placated, but still remorseful.

"Let's forget about my childhood for now," Harry said quickly, anxious to continue the meeting, "how did Voldemort find the Dursleys in the first place?"

"We think that Voldemort has been having his Death Eaters scout the area around Little Whinging ever since you've been there, just in case an opportunity arose, although they've never been able to get close due to the strong enchantments put on the house by Dumbledore. However, since you were expelled and started living at Grimmauld Place, you no longer call Number 4 Privet Drive home, so the protections broke. We're just speculating at the moment, but we assume that a Death Eater found this out by chance, summoned Voldemort immediately and they proceeded to torture the Dursleys to attempt to find your whereabouts."

Harry gazed at Kingsley, his mouth slightly open. This explained a lot, and he was suddenly filled with a sense of dread. Voldemort now knew that he wasn't at Privet Drive, and would be searching for him. No wonder his scar had been prickling on and off since the visions of yesterday, Voldemort was probably fuming at the knowledge that Harry wasn't where he was supposed to be. He could imagine him now, pacing up and down, ordering his followers to search high and low for the Boy Who Lived. Harry felt a sense of grim satisfaction that he'd at least outsmarted the Dark Lord.

As if on cue, Harry's scar gave a particularly violent twinge and he winced. Sirius looked concerned, but Harry waved it off. He was going to have to get used to this, because he was pretty sure Voldemort was never going to find him here. Not unless a member of the Order betrayed them…but that wasn't going to happen, he was sure. His mind flicked subconsciously to Snape, and he narrowed his eyes. Could he trust that his bat-like professor was on the side of the Light?

"How can we be sure that no one in the Order will betray my whereabouts to Voldemort?" Harry asked suspiciously. "I don't trust Snape-"

"Dumbledore trusts him," Remus started, but Harry scowled at him.

"Maybe Dumbledore is wrong."

"Or maybe he trusts Snape because he has solid proof that he doesn't feel the need to share with everyone else," Remus said with a wry smile on his face. "Dumbledore wouldn't let Snape into the Order unless he was one hundred percent sure that he could trust him."

Everyone else in the room seemed to agree with this statement, so Harry decided to let it go for now. That didn't mean he had to trust Snape himself though… He zoned out while the meeting continued, his mind wandering absently over the death of the Dursleys. It was strange, knowing that they were dead, he felt almost empty as he thought about it. He remembered what Kingsley had mentioned about them being tortured for Harry's whereabouts, and he felt an almost grim sense of satisfaction. Wrong though it probably was, he was glad that they had suffered after all that they'd put him through during his childhood.

Before he knew it, the Order members were saying their goodbyes and pushing their chairs back. Harry sat up straight, blinking and trying to look as if he'd been paying attention the whole time. Sirius gave him a suspicious look, but smirked at him when Harry half-heartedly shrugged in response. Harry dimly registered the voices of his fellow Order members moving towards the front door, and he shook himself mentally, trying to snap back into reality. Sighing, Harry rubbed his eyes and stretched, wanting nothing more than to talk to his two best friends. It had been way too long since they'd spoken, and he had loads to discuss with them now.

Standing up slowly, Harry began making his way towards the stairs when he was interceded by Sirius' hand on his arm.

"Harry…" Sirius's voice was rough, almost a whisper. He looked searchingly into Harry's eyes and gave a dark grin, obviously pleased with what he saw. "You're glad, aren't you," he said quietly, a glint in his eye, "that Voldemort tortured them before he killed their worthless selves."

Harry looked at Sirius for a moment, slightly disconcerted, but he couldn't deny the truth. "Yes…" he whispered softly, echoing Sirius' dark smile on his own face.

Sirius smirked and put his arms around Harry's waist, pulling him closer. Their lips met, passionate, hungry for each other. Harry gripped Sirius as if he was a lifeline, almost growling with want as he tasted Sirius' unique taste on his tongue. He couldn't get any closer to the older man but it still wasn't enough, Harry impatiently broke away and pulled Sirius' shirt roughly off of him, repeating the action on himself before throwing himself on his godfather again. Sirius moaned at Harry's obvious desire, and Harry revelled in the feeling of their bare chests pressed together.

Harry dimly registered that Sirius was walking him backwards, feeling a cold wall pressing against his back and the warmth of his godfather pressing pleasantly against his front. Sirius' mouth moved from Harry's lips to his neck, biting and sucking the soft flesh and making Harry squirm in pleasure. He gasped for breath, his heart beating twice its normal pace, lost in the feeling of the older man's mouth on him. It was going to leave a mark, but he found that he really didn't care. If anything, the thought of Sirius marking him and claiming him turned him on even more. Running a hand through his godfather's soft hair, Harry's eyes flickered shut and he lost himself in the moment, feeling Sirius' lips return to his own and responding eagerly, darting his tongue into Sirius' mouth and tasting him.

They carried on this way for some time, until Sirius' stomach growled and Harry laughed at him. "Hungry?"

"I guess so," Sirius said sheepishly. "I should make some breakfast, seeing as the Order didn't give us time to have any. You want anything?"

"I'll have something in a bit, I want to talk to Ron and Hermione," Harry said, suddenly remembering what he had been heading upstairs for before he'd been distracted by Sirius. His godfather smiled understandingly at him and turned away to see what was in the fridge. Harry grabbed his shirt and ran up the stairs, hastily throwing it back on before finding his mirror and calling Ron's name.

Impatiently, Harry tapped his foot, sitting on his bed and leaning against the wall. After a minute or two, Ron's face appeared in the mirror with a mildly annoyed expression.

"Harry! Where've you been, mate, you haven't spoken to us in ages!" Ron spoke accusingly, then turned and beckoned Hermione over. "Oi, 'Mione, guess who's finally decided to show his face!"

A moment later Hermione appeared next to Ron, her look of annoyance mostly outweighed by her obvious relief that Harry was ok.

"Thank goodness you're okay Harry, we were starting to worry. Well, I was worrying, and Ron was plotting your speedy demise."

Harry smiled at his friends, wondering why he'd left it so long before talking to them. He supposed he'd had plenty to get distracted by, such as his relationship with Sirius, joining the Order, lessons with Sirius and Remus, plus trying to learn how to become an Animagus. Somewhere in all of that he'd left his friends behind, and now he was determined to catch up with them properly.

"I'm really sorry guys, it's been so busy round here. In fact, I had some pretty serious news this morning…" He proceeded to tell them about the death of the Dursleys, and by the end of his explanation Hermione looked horrified, and Ron mildly vindictive.

"Harry, that's terrible! I know you didn't get along with them, but-"

"Terrible? Of course it's not terrible, they pretty much abused Harry his whole life. If anything it's a good thing they're dead…" Ron interrupted Hermione angrily, and she looked scandalised at his opinion.

"How dare you say that, Ron? They're still human beings, even if they were terrible people."

"So you're saying you wouldn't be happy if someone like Bellatrix Lestrange, or You Know Who died?" Ron asked her incredulously.

"You Know Who doesn't count, he's barely human anymore. But I can't say I wouldn't be at least a little bit pleased to know that Bellatrix was dead…" Hermione trailed off, her face becoming slightly bitterer.

"That's more like it, Hermione," Harry said with a dark look on his face again. "Anyway, the important point isn't that they're dead. It's the fact that Voldemort now knows I'm not at Privet Drive, and he'll be searching for me."

"Oh my!" Hermione exclaimed anxiously, "but what if he finds you?"

"He won't," Harry said firmly. "Grimmauld Place is impenetrable. The only thing I'm worried about is Snape, I don't completely trust him not to betray me to Voldemort." Harry ignored the fact that both of his friends flinched at the name. "But I suppose Dumbledore must have a reason for trusting him. I may disagree with how controlling and downright annoying the old man can be, but even he wouldn't let someone like Snape into the Order unless he was completely sure he could trust him." Much as it pained Harry to say this, he thought it was probably true.

"You're right, Harry," Hermione nodded, "Dumbledore must have seen some sort of proof before he decided to trust that Snape was on our side."

They discussed Snape and his loyalty for a little while, Harry also mentioning that he was now an official member of the Order of the Phoenix. Ron looked jealous and Hermione awed, but Harry assured them that he wasn't going to be doing anything interesting other than sitting in meetings. They were still enthused by the news, and also downhearted when Harry told them that he had signed a magical document that would stop him from telling them anything he heard in meetings.

"I don't suppose you heard anything about Hagrid, did you?" Hermione asked Harry anxiously. "He still isn't back yet and we're really getting worried now."

"Oh yeah, I've been meaning to tell you about that! Now that I'm in the Order I'm hoping I'll be able to get some more information from Sirius, but so far he's told me that Hagrid is on an important mission for the Order and he should've been back by now."

"What?" Ron and Hermione said together, looking horrified.

"Apparently they're not sure what's happened to him, although Sirius said that they weren't worried about him just yet. He was with Madame Maxime, but they got separated on the journey home and she arrived back without him. I must remember to ask Sirius what it was that Hagrid was doing…" Harry tailed off, making a mental note to ask him about that later. Maybe it would give them an idea as to what could've happened to hold Hagrid up for so long.

"I just hope he's okay," Hermione said in a small voice.

"Me too," Harry agreed emphatically. "So what's been happening at Hogwarts since we last spoke?"

He was filled in on a lot of goings on from both Ron and Hermione, in between brief arguments between the two of them. Their Defence lessons were still disappointingly without magic, and Umbridge was becoming unbearable. Hermione spoke about how worried she was that they weren't learning any defensive magic at all, and not only would they fail their exams but they wouldn't be able to defend themselves against Voldemort or his followers outside of school if they didn't learn any magic all year. Harry suggested trying to learn magic outside of lessons, and they discussed this topic enthusiastically although they couldn't come up with a fool proof way of doing it.

"What about Dumbledore, is he still mysteriously disappearing all the time?" Harry asked interestedly.

"It's funny you should bring him up, actually," Ron said thoughtfully, "he turned up to breakfast this morning after being gone for at least a week this time, and his hand was all…well…kind of dead," Ron said with a grimace on his face.

"Yes, it was withered and black looking, as if he'd touched some horrible dark curse," Hermione added, and Harry frowned, now even more interested about what Dumbledore could possibly be doing outside of Hogwarts.

"That's strange…I wonder what he's up to. Sirius seems to think that it doesn't have anything to do with the Order."

Their headmaster's odd behaviour turned out to be a fascinating subject to discuss, and they speculated on it for quite a while before Ron suddenly stared at Harry and widened his eyes.

"Hang on a minute, mate, what's that?" His face got closer to the mirror as if he was leaning in.

"What?" Harry said, confused.

"On your neck. It looks like a bruise…"

Harry immediately went bright red, and turned away, embarrassed. He knew exactly what that mark was, and he really didn't want to talk about it. When they'd been caught up in the moment, Harry had thought it was a great idea for Sirius to give him a love bite but now he was seriously regretting it.

"It's nothing, really," he said quickly, but he wasn't fooling anybody.

"It's not nothing! It looks like…" Ron's eyebrows shot up and he looked both impressed and surprised at the same time, "it looks like a hickey! It is, isn't it?" he said, laughing at Harry's obvious discomfort.

"No, it isn't," Harry said adamantly, but there was no convincing Ron. He turned desperately to Hermione but she looked like she agreed with Ron, although she was looking more displeased than amused by it.

"Honestly, Harry, who did that to you? Got a bit hungry, did they?" She said in a somewhat amused but still cool voice.

"I…look, I really don't want to talk about it," Harry said anxiously. This really wasn't how he'd imagined telling his best friends about his relationship.

"Come off it, mate, there's no point hiding it now. We know you're with someone, and it must be someone in the Order because they're the only people that can get into Grimmauld place! I know! It's Tonks, isn't it?" Ron asked, leering at Harry.

"No, it isn't Tonks," Harry said shortly. "She's in a relationship with Remus."

"Really?" Hermione asked excitedly, "that's so sweet!" Ron gave her a look, and carried on grilling Harry.

"But there aren't any other girls in the Order, are there?" He asked confusedly. "Unless you count McGonagall," he said, cackling with laughter. Harry rolled his eyes, annoyed at Ron's attitude.

"There's also your mother," he said snidely, chuckling to himself as Ron sobered up and glared at him.

"Oi, uncalled for," he said moodily, and gave up on joking around. "Look, if it's not Tonks then it must be a guy, right?" Ron looked uncertain at this, but even he had worked out that it was the only available option left. Harry's blush confirmed it for him, and his eyes widened. "Blimey mate, I didn't realise you were…I mean, I'm fine with it," he said hurriedly, seeing Hermione raise her eyebrows at him. "It's just unexpected, that's all."

"It was unexpected to me too, trust me," Harry said begrudgingly.

"Come on, you have to tell us now," Ron said eagerly. "Who is it?"

"Fine, fine," Harry conceded, feeling his heart race and heat rush to his face, "but promise me you'll try to be understanding."

"Of course we will," Hermione said at once, smiling encouragingly at him.

"Alright. Well," Harry said nervously, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. With his eyes still closed, he blurted it out before he could lose his nerve. "It's Sirius."

Hearing silence at the other end, he tentatively opened his eyes and saw his friends staring back at him, dumbstruck.

"_What?"_

"But he's your godfather-"

"He's so much older than you-"

"Are you crazy, Harry?"

Their reactions were just as Harry expected them to be, and he sighed. "Look, I don't even know how it happened. We just started, you know, developing feelings for each other." He felt himself blush again, and bit his lip. He was really bad at this kind of conversation. "Look, I don't really want to talk about it. The point is, we really like each other and if the both of us can get past how complicated this relationship is, then I hope that my best friends can accept it too."

They both looked sceptical, but Hermione was the first to speak up. "Oh Harry, nothing is ever simple for you, is it?" She smiled tentatively at him, and Harry grinned back, letting out huge sigh.

"Nope, I'm not sure anything will ever be easy for me," he agreed readily. "I'm just glad that something great, something really incredible came out of it this time." He smile softly, thinking of Sirius, and his friends glanced at each other. They could really see just how important Sirius was to Harry, and they weren't going to argue with that.

"Look, we have to go, Harry, but it's been good to catch up," Hermione said softly. "Good luck with Sirius. I know it must be really hectic for you at the moment, but please remember to ask about Hagrid. We miss him."

Harry smiled at her warmly and assured her that he would find out as soon as possible. They went their separate ways soon after that, and Harry laid back on his bed, looking at the ceiling and pondering what they'd discussed. He felt strangely relieved now that Ron and Hermione knew about his relationship with Sirius, and accepted it so willingly. His mind wandered to what they'd told him about Dumbledore, and his withered hand. What did that mean? Was Dumbledore messing with some kind of dark magic on his frequent trips away from the castle? Was this something to do with Voldemort?

As he thought about the Dark Lord his scar started prickling again, and he screwed up his eyes, wishing it would stop doing that. The pain got steadily worse, and he got flashes of red in front of his eyes, a feeling of intense anger bubbling in his mind which had nothing to do with the contented and thoughtful mood he'd been in a moment ago. Feeling the anger building up, he stood up and began pacing back and forth in his room, suddenly feeling the urge to smash and break things. He gave in to his temptation and pulled out his wand, pointing it at all the faded old furniture in his room and blasting it, smashing everything to smithereens and shouting out loud in frustration.

The rage was gone as quickly as it had appeared, and he collapsed weakly onto his bed. Footsteps soon came charging up the stairs and Sirius barged into his room surveying the damage with a wild expression.

"What the hell happened?" he said, confused.

"I…I don't know what's happening to me," Harry said worriedly, putting his head in his hands. "One minute I'm fine, and the next I'm full of unexplained anger. I know it's because of Voldemort, but I just wish I knew _why_." He watched absent-mindedly as Sirius waved his wand and fixed everything in the room, then climbed onto the bed next to Harry and lay down, putting an arm around him and pulling him close.

"I don't know why this is happening to you, Harry, but I know that it's not your fault, so don't blame yourself. It'll all work itself out in the end," Sirius comforted him softly, and Harry calmed down, enjoying the moment with Sirius. They looked up at the ceiling and watched the stars twinkling in the artificial sky that they'd created together on their bedroom ceiling. Sirius, the brightest star in the sky, shone down brightly and counteracted the irritating pain that continued to build in Harry's scar. It reminded him of how lucky he was to have the man next to him, and as he focused on that feeling, the prickling sensation faded away.

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I really hope you enjoyed that chapter, please leave me a review to let me know what you thought! :) x


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